To move my DS year 10 who has an ECHP from a mainstream secondary school whose target grades are around grades 2/3 to a Private School and ask DS to start year 8 in January at the Private School to a Private school and ask him

[redange]

I have three children two DD's and 1 adopted DS DD's are in year 11 and 9 respectively at a very highly regarded girls Grammar school. DD'1 is expected to achieve 9/10 grade 9's next year DD'2 will need '52' points for the schools sixth form which is likely to mean she will have to work quite hard.

However, after DH's attitude towards DS, such as he will never need to work and there will be enough money anyway for him. I am furious with DH for his dismissal and his suggestion to DD'1 goes to a Boarding School for 6th form to expand her agency ! DH is ex Public School whose family are old money thus he and his family believe both daughters lack a bit of polish. DH however has an attitude that a mainstream secondary school with a FSM rate of 42% has provided a perfectly adequate education for DS given his academic potential.

I have made contact with a non selective Private School who have suggested DS starts this January but in year 8 due to his academic needs. I have not told DS yet and do not know who he will respond to be put back two years.

This doesn't sound like a good move for your DS. He has an ECHP and is predicted low scores at GCSE. Moving to a more academic, private or not, school is not going to change this.

Since your DH feels that DS will always be supported financially, why not find out what DS can do well and help him extend that. Perhaps he'd make a great golf/tennis pro or a fantastic salesman for a luxury sector (yachts? cruises? jewellry?) where his good background would be a strength. Is he capable at DT? He could craft amazing, high end furniture?

If DS has an ECHP he should probably stay in the state system. I have worked in a few independent schools and they are not really geared to help pupils like him.

I find it a horrible irony that the least able academically are given loads and loads of extra work to 'catch up' - more and more of the very thing they struggle to do, poor lambs. I'm terrible at sport so if someone had told me that instead of doing what I loved (playing an instrument, reading) in my free time I had to have extra practice e.g. catching and throwing, I'd have despaired.

Ok. Not technically fails, fair point. But they won't open any doors to further FE options. He'd have to retake Maths and English to access further education courses

Round here specialist send schools dont do GCSEs. A small percentage of the academically stronger students may do some non assessed functional maths and English but they mostly focus on life skills - washing, changing the bed, shopping etc.

Very few could transfer into a L1 college course.

He sounds miles away from a specialist school but potentially a non- academic private school might be better.vnot one which is non selective at common entrance but then works hard to close the gap.

DS has a very Spikey profile in his academic potential it makes it very hard to pinpoint potential and when asked to speak presents as highly intelligent and beyond 14 years old.

He is vocally very sound on current affairs and holds Data on subjects. He talks about current affairs in an informed manner that is equal if not greater than his sisters .

A few days ago he was explaining to me about the peace deal between Hamas and Israel, telling me that the acknowledgement of a state of Palestine was a difficult political process that will require Hamas giving up their arms and role in Government.

He is a boy who can do quick arithmetic in his head for instance 423 +221 =644 quicker than his sisters who use learned method. However, he could not pass a GCSE in Math's/ Politics or English due to the complexities of written work.

I also can see a bit of me in him who despite the Primary School telling my mother I was operating at the level of a 7 year old my teacher mother drilled in to me enough to pass the 11+ . From there I did a Politics Degree at Keele University and met DH.

The same is true of entry level/foundation courses though.

So what makes you think he’d fit in, academically or socially, at an academic private school in a class two years below his peer group?

I’d also be prepared that some of that class’s parents may have something to say about it - I’d be furious if a boy two years older than my daughter was in her class at secondary age and if I was paying for private school I wouldn’t be quiet about it.

I can understand why you think the current situation isn’t ideal for him but I can’t work out how you think your proposal is better.

Your DD's academic achievements are irrelevant to your DS's.

I think you have come up with this plan because -
DD1 is a high achiever academically
DD2 is not on such a high achieving path but DH wants to pay £ to send her to a boarding school that he thinks will help her succeed
DS is struggling academically but DH has written him off as a lost cause

If this is the case, then of course you and your DH should be looking at how best to support your DS to achieve his potential. But that may not be putting him into a private school with lots of homework in a class with younger children. None of us know his EHCP requirements or the support he is receiving or requires or what his potential and financial situation is. But make your decision in his interests and not on the basis of how his GCSE grades might look compared to his sisters.

❓ what is his diagnosis you're too vague for me to help.
❓ Will he be boarding
❓ Are you self funded

I'm not being nosey, just trying to help @redange

If he can get grades 4 in English/Math's DS has the potential to eventually do Degree level studies, due to the advancement of IT systems and Mentor support at Higher learning levels.

This is an example of basic schooling failing children who have great potential, but cannot get past level 1 of the Education System.

I don’t think this is necessarily true. For some, maybe. But scraping to 4s with all the support that schools offer now, both technology and personal, doesn’t in any way suggest potential to get to degree level academically. On top of that, academic studies arent the b all and end all. Just because you enjoyed getting to them and met your DH at University doesn’t mean your DS will be unhappy, unfulfilled and single if he goes a different route v

With his EHCP he can take a slow route through college.

He could do a year at level 1 followed by a year at level 2, whilst in parallel resitting maths and English Language or their functional skills equivalents.
Then he could go on to do a level 3 vocational for 2 years or even A levels if you can show he could access them with assistance.

He could. Perhaps. But maybe he’d be happier and more successful doing something else less laborious. Academic qualifications aren’t the only way to a successful and happy life.

There is a small private school, local to us (only 100 kids in total from yr3 to yr11) which has become a go to for SEND parents in the area (despite it being a performing arts school!) precisely because children like your DS can be given the time and space to work at the level they need to, rather than being pushed forward in their age cohort. I agree that in traditional settings mixing ages wouldn’t go well but because this place is so small it seems to work. Lots of kids are also working towards specific drama and/or music exams alongside fewer academic qualifications, playing to their strengths and ambitions.

Honestly it sounds like the school is just after your money.

The school just want your money! What they’re suggesting is highly controversial and not in the best interest of your DS.

Specialist SEND schools operate way, way below this level. Don't forget 40 percent of children don't get grade 4 for their gcses. Do you really think 40 percent of children should be in specialist?

OP if you want to move him to support him socially if he has become a target due to his wealth, I would be looking at A non academic private school that is nurturing. There are some that specialize in this way in most districts.

Not always the case at all. I've worked in 2 specialist settings that offer a good handful of GCSEs to smaller groups of students.
Not all SEND schools have the same curriculum offer

Yes, but complex children with autism and the like no doubt. We have one near us that offers GCSEs to a small group. What they don't do is take any child who is just looking at grade 2/3 gcses as if any child working at that level should not be in mainstream.

With an ehc you have to go through the local authority. I understand you can pay for the new school but the ehc is a legal document and the LA has assessed his needs and the school he is at is deemed to be the right place for him. They may disagree that this plan, of dropping 2 years, is in his best interests and refuse to name this new school in the ehc, in which case you would surely lose the ehc.

I'm a fellow adopter and I used to work in a sendiass team, helping parents with ehc plans. Frankly, it is a terrible idea to drop 2 school years for several reasons and local authorities don't like it. Most kids with sen are not failing to achieve because they need a bit more time - they need a more tailored curriculum or environment to reach their potential, but redoing school years will just demoralise them, make them stand out, make other kids ( and their parents) wary as your child is so much more physically advanced.

But the main reason is that he will basically be able to leave school in year 9.

Private, non sen schools often talk up their offering to parents but find it hard to deliver. Some schools are so desperate for new pupils they will say anything.

Imo you have to think of what your son wants too. He could easily refuse to go and be a school refuser, and what then?

@redange then get him a tutor

i still feel you are trying to adapt him into what you think he should be doing degree etc rather than trying to find what works for him

this isn’t the option

The suggestion by the school of moving your ds back by two years just to match your ds to an academic year group is a truly terrible one. It is lazy and disrespectful of the school to consider this appropriate rather than them considering your and other children’s emotional well-being and the legal right to reasonable adjustments. Do not touch this school with a barge pole.

You’ve described your ds as being extremely articulate and able to take on and discuss some really complex concepts and situations. Putting him with students two years younger will make him stand out even more and remove the opportunity to explore these skills. Also, think what sport would look like. For any matches, he would be put back with his chronological age group, with students he doesn’t know.

A small, nurturing school, with good, flexible SEND support with additional 1 to 1 tutoring in his more challenging subjects would be much more appropriate.

Dropping 2 years is insane socially.
I would drop him one year but pick a gentler school supplemented with tutoring rather than a 2 hours a night sort of school. If he finds school difficult now, losing after school free time could physically, emotionally and mentally ruin him.
Did you pick a school that sounds like a hothouse because of his high achieving siblings? Maybe his strengths are elsewhere and he’d be best off doing vocational qualifications after GCSEs and focus on getting the English and maths GCSE passes that make transition smoother.
GCSEs are stressful enough when school isn’t difficult. Unless your son is not fulfilling his potential because he’s using teen stubbornness not to work, I think that you’d be best off looking for private schools that do a wider range of qualifications that suit him rather than hope that 2 hours a night of homework helps him catch up.

My ds passed GCSEs but didn’t discover a love of learning until he went to college and learned practical qualifications. It’s really helped his confidence finding his “thing” and gets him respect from his siblings whose strengths lie elsewhere.

I think this is a terrible idea. It sounds like completely the wrong place for DS. If you think the EHCP isn’t currently meeting DS’s needs, have you requested an early review?

refuse to name this new school in the ehc, in which case you would surely lose the ehc.

I don’t think OP’s plan is the right way forward. However, this isn’t the case. Parents can decide to make their own arrangements by funding an independent school and the EHCP won’t cease. The LA won’t be responsible for funding the provision/placement unless named in I, but the EHCP won’t cease.

No, not always complex children and the like. I have 25 years experience in specialist settings. I don't think the OP's child belongs in a mainstream setting for what it's worth, but with SEND schools bursting at the seams it's highly unlikely that he would be given a place.

And I have 25 years experience as an ed psych and unless there is a load of complexity the OP hasn't explained, or severe SEMH, communication issues or similar, I have never known a child be moved to a specialist setting just because they were predicted grades 2-3 in GCSEs.