Page 26 | Things you wouldn't admit in real life part 2

Worriedreparents · 18/10/2025 21:36

@Horsie good theory but in practice I have much more disposable income than most workers so I could expand the economy by my spending. Why on earth would I go out to work after 39 years of increasing corporate bulls*it when I don’t need to. You say you’d allow it in cases of ill health and in my case it was the ill health and death of family members aged 54 and 58 that prompted me to finish.
I’d bet my bottom dollar that if you were in the same position financially after losing loved ones so young you’d make the same decision

cadburyegg · 18/10/2025 21:41

I am sick of my children’s education being disruptive by naughty kids. I knew one of the mums of one of the kids after meeting her at baby group but I had to call time on the friendship when I realised she had no discipline or boundaries and allowed her child to chase mine around her house with a stick. So whilst it’s not impossible that these kids might have additional needs I am willing to bet that the majority are just not used to the word “no”. I am tired of it.

On a different note, I think that a lot of parents have unrealistic expectations of the support that can be offered at state schools. Complaints about lack of photos on social media. Moaning if kids are out 5 minutes late. Expecting more support staff that the school can afford. One parent I know expects daily updates on her child - come on!

Horsie · 18/10/2025 21:45

Worriedreparents · 18/10/2025 21:36

@Horsie good theory but in practice I have much more disposable income than most workers so I could expand the economy by my spending. Why on earth would I go out to work after 39 years of increasing corporate bulls*it when I don’t need to. You say you’d allow it in cases of ill health and in my case it was the ill health and death of family members aged 54 and 58 that prompted me to finish.
I’d bet my bottom dollar that if you were in the same position financially after losing loved ones so young you’d make the same decision

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I did have that scenario with one immediate family member. I still think that choosing not have a long retirement is the morally superior decision IF you have good health and no cancer background. And I don't blame anyone for not wanting a corporate BS job, but there are more fulfilling jobs out there.

ERthree · 18/10/2025 22:02

Horsie · 18/10/2025 20:19

But you're still economically inactive while young and healthy, right? And taking money out of the public purse via the state pension but not generating taxes or productivity, even though you're young and healthy. What if everyone did that?

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I am many years away from being able to have my state pension.

godmum56 · 18/10/2025 22:04

Horsie · 18/10/2025 21:26

But if more people worked, and retirements that lasted for twenty years or more weren't a thing (unless you have bad health), then in theory the economy would expand and there would be more jobs for everyone, no?

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how would that expand the economy?

ERthree · 18/10/2025 22:04

Horsie · 18/10/2025 20:27

Yeah, maybe. I've just watched the older generation in my family be thoroughly self-indulgent - you know, gold-plated lump-sum final-salary pensions, and they benefited from low house prices when they were starting out in the Sixties, and no uni fees for their kids plus grants for them. And I don't think they worked harder than my generation - quite the opposite. House prices were such that a family house could be bought on one salary, so one person could stay at home, and jobs were much less stressful than today.

So yeah, the thread is about things you wouldn't say out loud, and my issue with people who have long, early retirements while still in great health is mine!

Also, this working multiple jobs thing is a red herring. We all have the same amount of time in a week, it doesn't matter if your long hours are spread between three jobs or you just work long hours at one. I also don't believe the PP's claim about working 15 hours a day, 7 days a week for a length of time that would make a difference to when you could retire. There would be no time to shower, do laundry, have meals, ever watch a TV programme or see a friend. It's just nonsense.

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Believe me you can fit everything in.

Horsie · 18/10/2025 22:06

ERthree · 18/10/2025 22:02

I am many years away from being able to have my state pension.

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When I'm Queen for a day, I'll chase you back to work then! 🤪

Horsie · 18/10/2025 22:07

ERthree · 18/10/2025 22:04

Believe me you can fit everything in.

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How, if you only have nine hours a day free and that nine hours includes the time you need to sleep? What's your secret - a time travel thing like in Harry Potter?!

Horsie · 18/10/2025 22:08

godmum56 · 18/10/2025 22:04

how would that expand the economy?

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Because greater productivity means greater output, which means growth.

SBGM247 · 18/10/2025 22:22

Beekman · 16/10/2025 02:42

I rent an apartment and all that is in it is a large brown sectional and a massive telly. Oh, and a kettle. I go there twice a week and watch true crime documentaries and cry about my mum, who died three years ago. I spend a couple of days a week there and then go back to my lovely home where my husband lives and our grown kids visit all the time. Not a soul knows about this.

This is fascinating.

WhatASmashingBlouseYouHaveOn · 18/10/2025 22:42

I'm sure I'll get flamed for this, but, I do not care about your team sport, I cannot give 2 hoots whether you won, lost or drew. Team sports are 2 groups of randoms playing a game and I don't understand why people get so worked up about them. Sports and the results are of no consequence and do not matter.

Anthempart2 · 18/10/2025 22:54

Horsie · 18/10/2025 20:27

Yeah, maybe. I've just watched the older generation in my family be thoroughly self-indulgent - you know, gold-plated lump-sum final-salary pensions, and they benefited from low house prices when they were starting out in the Sixties, and no uni fees for their kids plus grants for them. And I don't think they worked harder than my generation - quite the opposite. House prices were such that a family house could be bought on one salary, so one person could stay at home, and jobs were much less stressful than today.

So yeah, the thread is about things you wouldn't say out loud, and my issue with people who have long, early retirements while still in great health is mine!

Also, this working multiple jobs thing is a red herring. We all have the same amount of time in a week, it doesn't matter if your long hours are spread between three jobs or you just work long hours at one. I also don't believe the PP's claim about working 15 hours a day, 7 days a week for a length of time that would make a difference to when you could retire. There would be no time to shower, do laundry, have meals, ever watch a TV programme or see a friend. It's just nonsense.

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Yes I agree, I feel like people take what they remember as their most challenging working week and paint it as the norm.

UnhappyHobbit · 18/10/2025 23:18

I would never admit this in real life. I think some people should be forced to be sterilised.

This actually comes from learning about a very awful situation at a local hospital. A young woman gave birth and social services were involved in having the baby removed from her. But, while this was being arranged, either her or her dirtbag bf murdered their baby. They should never be allowed to breed again.

People that repeatedly have kids and can’t look after them need sterilising. They are a waste of public resources. I was surprised to learn about Sweden’s eugenic programme, but admired the sentiment.

CrispsPlease · 19/10/2025 00:18

cadburyegg · 18/10/2025 21:41

I am sick of my children’s education being disruptive by naughty kids. I knew one of the mums of one of the kids after meeting her at baby group but I had to call time on the friendship when I realised she had no discipline or boundaries and allowed her child to chase mine around her house with a stick. So whilst it’s not impossible that these kids might have additional needs I am willing to bet that the majority are just not used to the word “no”. I am tired of it.

On a different note, I think that a lot of parents have unrealistic expectations of the support that can be offered at state schools. Complaints about lack of photos on social media. Moaning if kids are out 5 minutes late. Expecting more support staff that the school can afford. One parent I know expects daily updates on her child - come on!

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Completely agree.

I too sadly had to call time on a friendship. A very hard decision. Due to her kids being spoilt, obnoxious, rude and poorly behaved. I'd have worked with her if she'd have admitted they could be problematic, but she literally couldn't or wouldn't see it . The final straw was when she started to use other child (including mine ) as convenient scapegoats when there was any mishaps that her children had caused. I feel sorry for her as I've met a few women along the way who've had very fleeting friendships with her, then the same pattern emerges and they make a polite exit. It's sad.

But the short version is : they had no boundaries, no discipline and mum was terrified of the word "no".

Schools have now become SEN institutions with the handful of neuro typical kids being ignored and expected to accommodate. Teachers have become pathetic (through no fault of their own really ) pussy footing around, accomodating 101 different SEN's and telling off neuro typical children for behaving normally around them. Madness.

And "coz of SEND" is the latest excuse by parents that can't be arsed to parent. I think people actually forget what SEND and SEN actually stand for. It now seems to be used as a label "my kid is SEND" which has become synonymous (unfairly) with "badly behaved".

beguilingeyes · 19/10/2025 00:41

amibeingaknob · 18/10/2025 11:54

I hear you. I hate attending them too. They are so expensive and boring for guests. And of course horrifically expensive for the couple. I just don't get it at all. I wonder if a lot of it is just expectation and social media?

It will be a cold day in hell before I had a wedding.

There were six people at my wedding, including us two.

IamNotBeingUnreasonable · 19/10/2025 03:46

Horsie · 18/10/2025 21:03

Oh, MFI! God, that's a blast from the past. I'd forgotten all about them.

It just seems that many people back then had 9-5 jobs, a family house on one salary, job security - you stayed at one place for forty years and then got a gold watch on retirement - and work did not bleed into evenings and weekends.

I haven't thought about it in as much depth as you suggest; they're just feelings I've had as I watched the older generations in my family, and this thread is for things you wouldn't admit out loud, so...

All four of my grandparents had retirements of quarter of a century, but they did live through two world wars and came from dreadful poverty. They also didn't indulge themselves with endless travel. Their children, my late parents and my aunts and uncles, didn't have such long retirements but went on truly endless long holidays for YEARS. I could never do that. I'm British but moved to the US in my early thirties for lurve, so have been there for many years now, and I do think the sheer number of holidays the British take is a disgrace. That's any age, not just retirement. British people, it seems to me, just don't want to work, whether that's taking early retirement while in great health and travelling all the time, or taking as many holiday as possible at any age. It's probably why our output is so low compared to other countries. We are lazy, that's what it comes down to.

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You sound very bitter and jealous that you don't get the same amount of leave as people in Britain.
Why are you so strongly invested and judgemental about something that doesn't impact you at all yet seems to eat away at you 🤨

Horsie · 19/10/2025 08:05

IamNotBeingUnreasonable · 19/10/2025 03:46

You sound very bitter and jealous that you don't get the same amount of leave as people in Britain.
Why are you so strongly invested and judgemental about something that doesn't impact you at all yet seems to eat away at you 🤨

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Actually, I work for a French company (in the US) and get five weeks, plus the many US bank holidays. And we also get the time between Christmas and New Year off, and it doesn't count towards our annual leave. Don't believe everything you hear about the US. Many workers have excellent pay and benefits.

It's an opinion. No need to get personal.

BlueDressontheLine · 19/10/2025 08:32

People who tell me im short are boring.

Horsie · 19/10/2025 08:37

UnhappyHobbit · 18/10/2025 23:18

I would never admit this in real life. I think some people should be forced to be sterilised.

This actually comes from learning about a very awful situation at a local hospital. A young woman gave birth and social services were involved in having the baby removed from her. But, while this was being arranged, either her or her dirtbag bf murdered their baby. They should never be allowed to breed again.

People that repeatedly have kids and can’t look after them need sterilising. They are a waste of public resources. I was surprised to learn about Sweden’s eugenic programme, but admired the sentiment.

That is a truly terrible thing to think. Forced sterilisation was a common method of population control in Mississippi, targeting poor Black women. It was a deeply shameful era, but you might enjoy reading about it. 🙄Thank God we have the concept of human rights today.

LillyPJ · 19/10/2025 08:41

Horsie · 19/10/2025 08:37

That is a truly terrible thing to think. Forced sterilisation was a common method of population control in Mississippi, targeting poor Black women. It was a deeply shameful era, but you might enjoy reading about it. 🙄Thank God we have the concept of human rights today.

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That's not the same though. The comment specified some people who have proved themselves to be dangerous parents. That's completely different from targeting an entire group.

UnhappyHobbit · 19/10/2025 08:41

Horsie · 19/10/2025 08:37

That is a truly terrible thing to think. Forced sterilisation was a common method of population control in Mississippi, targeting poor Black women. It was a deeply shameful era, but you might enjoy reading about it. 🙄Thank God we have the concept of human rights today.

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So you are just going to ignore the part where parents kill their babies? Why should these monsters be allowed to breed again?

manicpixieschemegirl · 19/10/2025 08:43

America is the best place for the highly obnoxious.

Sheknowsaboutme · 19/10/2025 08:50

I despise working with my colleague. Difficult situation as she also has a family member in our team (small team of 7). She only got the job as she came in on a casual basis to do filing etc. then a post came up, got a half hearted interview and got a job. Im a post above her and i authorise her work (finance) and the amount of work i return is ridiculous. I could just amend it myself but as a point I return it as otherwise she wouldn’t know.

we have to remind her to do the basics, its repetitive and tiresome.

she often plays the MH card but this is down to years of going back and forth to a bloke who plays her. She cant see what he is doing and won’t listen. She thrives on the attention her family member gives her when something has happened at home. HR is involved as she “forgets” to do her flexi and note her annual leave then complains she has anxiety as our manager is watching her our previous manager left as he hated her.

thanks. I feel better now!

Horsie · 19/10/2025 09:00

LillyPJ · 19/10/2025 08:41

That's not the same though. The comment specified some people who have proved themselves to be dangerous parents. That's completely different from targeting an entire group.

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No, read the whole message. She goes on to include people who have children 'they can't look after," however she defines that.

Horsie · 19/10/2025 09:00

UnhappyHobbit · 19/10/2025 08:41

So you are just going to ignore the part where parents kill their babies? Why should these monsters be allowed to breed again?

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No, read the whole message. She goes on to include people who have children 'they can't look after," however she defines that.