Page 24 | Things you wouldn't admit in real life part 2

uniqueme · 18/10/2025 14:22

I do wish clothing manufacturers make ladies' tops longer. Just an inch will be fine. Being 5ft 8, I am fed up of going to shops, putting the top against me and say "too short" in my head.

Also we all haven't got stick thin arms. My arms are muscular from years doing physical work and gym. Many tops are too tight on the sleeve. Including coats. If I am unable to do cabin crew's arm movements to demonstrate the fire exit locations in a item of clothing with sleeves, I am not buying it.

amibeingaknob · 18/10/2025 14:42

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stclementine · 18/10/2025 16:28

MollyRoisin · 17/10/2025 15:06

Thanks @MorrisZapp. I am absolutely one hundred per cent certain my lovely friend's marriage is as sexless as mine is and that he is telling the truth.

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As is the man I’m having an affair with. His life isn’t sexless, but his marriage definitely is. Not all men are lying to women about their marriages. Some really are genuinely trapped.

Anthempart2 · 18/10/2025 16:31

uniqueme · 18/10/2025 14:22

I do wish clothing manufacturers make ladies' tops longer. Just an inch will be fine. Being 5ft 8, I am fed up of going to shops, putting the top against me and say "too short" in my head.

Also we all haven't got stick thin arms. My arms are muscular from years doing physical work and gym. Many tops are too tight on the sleeve. Including coats. If I am unable to do cabin crew's arm movements to demonstrate the fire exit locations in a item of clothing with sleeves, I am not buying it.

Yes!! Just 1 inch longer would make such a difference. Also 5’8 and too tall for regular range, but too short for the tall range which is more geared towards 5’10+

I can recommend the Scandinavian clothing brands (like Only, Lindex etc - all available at ASOS) as they do clothes that little bit longer but still within normal parameters

godmum56 · 18/10/2025 16:44

Olinguita · 18/10/2025 14:05

I agree - weddings are getting too expensive and logistically complicated for guests these days.
I believe we need to rethink the format of "formal country house wedding in the middle of nowhere that is either child free or takes place on a weekday". It's a huge lift for a lot of the guests and in this day and age when you have two working parents and the whole cost of living crisis situation, there are often sacrifices to be made in terms of money and time away from family in order to attend such a wedding.
I could never say this out loud as it sounds like sour grapes! But I think it's madness and i don't think it was even "traditional" in the UK until the 90s or so unless you were literally landed gentry or royal or absolutely loaded.

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no, it never was, not unless you were fithy rich and even then, Chelsea Registry Office was posher. Things changed massively when people could be married in places other than churches or Registry offices which happened in 1994. Before that it was churches or Registry offices only. You could have any kind of shindig wherever you liked but if you di, you were not legally married until you had a brief civil ceremony.

Rayah · 18/10/2025 17:24

As much as I love my children and wouldn't want to be without them, I really struggle with being a mum. I think they and me would be much happier if I split with my husband and became a part time parent. They are still very young so I wouldn't do this now but the very thought of it is what mainly keeps me going.

Rayah · 18/10/2025 17:37

Olinguita · 18/10/2025 07:37

Fair enough.
However - as a mum of an only child, I don't really invest in friendships with mothers of more than one child because I know they are judging me and that they see me and my kid as other/different. I mean, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't freeze them out socially and I'm cordial to my son's friends, invite them round for playdates etc, so no-one would ever know, but my guard is always up. Why would I seek out friendship with people who don't see me as being on a level with them or who are waiting for my kid to do something "odd" or to make a mistake socially? Fyi having an only child wasn't entirely a choice, it was just the way my life panned out, shit happens 🤷‍♀️

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The most socially awkward, selfish and odd person I've ever met is my eldest sibling. He has two siblings and he's just about the most miserable self centred person I've ever met. All the only children I know are confident, well adjusted and caring people.

A lot of the time I feel I should have stuck at one and I feel a pang of envy when I see families with just one child. A friend who has an only child described her family of the three of them as "such a unit" and it just struck me as the loveliest description ever.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 18/10/2025 17:39

I hate weddings.

This is probably because when my mum met my step dad, he took me on like his own child, they got married, I took his surname, and then they divorced after he got us into loads of debt.

I know a significant number of marriages end in divorce, and while I understand that people get married for the legal protections of it, especially where property and children are concerned, when someone announces they're getting married I internally think "happy future divorce".

Anthempart2 · 18/10/2025 17:41

Rayah · 18/10/2025 17:24

As much as I love my children and wouldn't want to be without them, I really struggle with being a mum. I think they and me would be much happier if I split with my husband and became a part time parent. They are still very young so I wouldn't do this now but the very thought of it is what mainly keeps me going.

I’m with you.

I love my children and virtually everything I do is for their wellbeing and happiness, but I’m a shadow of my former self and I lie awake in bed for 10 minutes every day not wanting to get up and face what’s ahead of me.

I don’t have hobbies, I only see my friends in the capacity of ‘play dates’, I can’t remember the last time I dressed up or felt that frisson of excitement about something. I’m sick of the sound of my own voice repeating shit I’ve said for years. I wake to the sound of screaming at 6am and I’m woken a minimum of twice a night by one of them. I’m exhausted and I am hoping and praying I’m suited to parenting older children as right now I really don’t like myself and have this awful gnawing feeling inside me all the time.

Confessionsthrowaway · 18/10/2025 17:51

Rayah · 18/10/2025 17:37

The most socially awkward, selfish and odd person I've ever met is my eldest sibling. He has two siblings and he's just about the most miserable self centred person I've ever met. All the only children I know are confident, well adjusted and caring people.

A lot of the time I feel I should have stuck at one and I feel a pang of envy when I see families with just one child. A friend who has an only child described her family of the three of them as "such a unit" and it just struck me as the loveliest description ever.

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This. I have known lots of weird, selfish people who have siblings. One of the meanest people I have ever met is the middle child of five! I think that generalisations are absurd, people are who they are.

Rayah · 18/10/2025 17:58

Anthempart2 · 18/10/2025 17:41

I’m with you.

I love my children and virtually everything I do is for their wellbeing and happiness, but I’m a shadow of my former self and I lie awake in bed for 10 minutes every day not wanting to get up and face what’s ahead of me.

I don’t have hobbies, I only see my friends in the capacity of ‘play dates’, I can’t remember the last time I dressed up or felt that frisson of excitement about something. I’m sick of the sound of my own voice repeating shit I’ve said for years. I wake to the sound of screaming at 6am and I’m woken a minimum of twice a night by one of them. I’m exhausted and I am hoping and praying I’m suited to parenting older children as right now I really don’t like myself and have this awful gnawing feeling inside me all the time.

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I completely empathise. In my lowest points, I've contemplated taking a loan out just so I can put my baby into childcare a few days a week so I can get time to myself.

The thing is I'm blessed by good sleeping children, a husband who gives me lie ins and takes them out together far more than I do for him to give me time to myself and two sets of involved grandparents yet I still just feel I'm wishing my life away.

I don't regret them and wouldn't want to be without them as I've always wanted a family but Christ, I just feel myself wishing time away. I do feel almost certain I will leave my husband in a few years just to make myself happier and be a better mother to my children.

And also to provide some consolation to one and done parents. I've read some comments that friends can never be like siblings or family. Well let me tell you this. I have two siblings, one who is a twin yet my best friend is MORE like family to me and my kids than my siblings ever will be.

BatchCookBabe · 18/10/2025 18:06

stclementine · 18/10/2025 16:28

As is the man I’m having an affair with. His life isn’t sexless, but his marriage definitely is. Not all men are lying to women about their marriages. Some really are genuinely trapped.

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That's what they are telling you.....

No man is truly 'trapped.' If he wanted to be with you enough, he would leave his wife.

godmum56 · 18/10/2025 18:24

uniqueme · 18/10/2025 14:22

I do wish clothing manufacturers make ladies' tops longer. Just an inch will be fine. Being 5ft 8, I am fed up of going to shops, putting the top against me and say "too short" in my head.

Also we all haven't got stick thin arms. My arms are muscular from years doing physical work and gym. Many tops are too tight on the sleeve. Including coats. If I am unable to do cabin crew's arm movements to demonstrate the fire exit locations in a item of clothing with sleeves, I am not buying it.

why would you not say that in real life?

Confessionsthrowaway · 18/10/2025 18:34

BatchCookBabe · 18/10/2025 18:06

That's what they are telling you.....

No man is truly 'trapped.' If he wanted to be with you enough, he would leave his wife.

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Don't be silly.

Confessionsthrowaway · 18/10/2025 18:35

Rayah · 18/10/2025 17:58

I completely empathise. In my lowest points, I've contemplated taking a loan out just so I can put my baby into childcare a few days a week so I can get time to myself.

The thing is I'm blessed by good sleeping children, a husband who gives me lie ins and takes them out together far more than I do for him to give me time to myself and two sets of involved grandparents yet I still just feel I'm wishing my life away.

I don't regret them and wouldn't want to be without them as I've always wanted a family but Christ, I just feel myself wishing time away. I do feel almost certain I will leave my husband in a few years just to make myself happier and be a better mother to my children.

And also to provide some consolation to one and done parents. I've read some comments that friends can never be like siblings or family. Well let me tell you this. I have two siblings, one who is a twin yet my best friend is MORE like family to me and my kids than my siblings ever will be.

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That seems really hard on your husband, if he is a good husband why would you leave him? Unless I'm misunderstanding your post. I would get it if he was crap, but it doesn't sound as if he is?

hiddeneverythin · 18/10/2025 18:40

My dh and I strongly dislike each other but carry on regardless

Sprinkletime · 18/10/2025 18:45

@No5ChalksRoad I have the exact same problem as pp and my tonsils went a loong time ago.

Festivespirit85 · 18/10/2025 18:54

ChessBess · 18/10/2025 11:25

This. You’ve described it well and that’s what I’ve noticed with only children/adults. They are are lovely, but they are ‘selfish’ in that they expect their needs to be met first it’s “Let’s do this, let’s do that, I want to go there”.

My ex was an only child and I had to sometimes point out that’s it’s not just about what he wants. He usually took it well and responded appropriately but it didn’t come naturally to always consider he’s not the most important.

It’s the same with the kids I know (DC’s friends) lovely girls but it’s usually my DD has to do what they want and I assume it’s because they’ve always had it their way without having to share resources/affection etc…

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My 5 year old has a friend who is an only child, and when I'm talking to his parents will be there trying to pull them away mid-conversation. They usually give in and trot off, but there was one time that his dad shouted at him to wait because he was incessantly saying 'daddy, daddy, daddy' despite being told to wait one moment. After the dad snapped he apologised to me and I said 'no need to be sorry, he's got to learn to wait and realize it's rude to constantly interrupt others when he has been asked to wait. I don't like the child anyway, but there's nothing worse than not teaching your child that the world doesn't resolve round them in those situations.

Midnights68 · 18/10/2025 18:56

Loopylou7219 · 17/10/2025 17:09

Friends who gaps of over 2 years (especially with opposite sex siblings ) have tales of regret. One person said to me "it's like having two only children"

That is ridiculous when talking about a two or more year age gap. Like having two only children? Do me a favour 😂

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Surely the majority of families with more than one child have an age gap of more than 2 years? The WHO advise that women leave a gap of 18-24 months between giving birth and getting pregnant again for the health of both the mother and baby.

Mistletoewench · 18/10/2025 19:08

godmum56 · 18/10/2025 16:44

no, it never was, not unless you were fithy rich and even then, Chelsea Registry Office was posher. Things changed massively when people could be married in places other than churches or Registry offices which happened in 1994. Before that it was churches or Registry offices only. You could have any kind of shindig wherever you liked but if you di, you were not legally married until you had a brief civil ceremony.

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The best weddings I have attended were in the 80s and 90s in village halls and back rooms in pubs, proper good knees up.
we have had to decline a couple of weddings which were far away and scheduled in the week, just to expensive for us to attend 😔

Loopylou7219 · 18/10/2025 19:18

Midnights68 · 18/10/2025 18:56

Surely the majority of families with more than one child have an age gap of more than 2 years? The WHO advise that women leave a gap of 18-24 months between giving birth and getting pregnant again for the health of both the mother and baby.

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That's exactly what I was thinking

Rayah · 18/10/2025 19:22

Confessionsthrowaway · 18/10/2025 18:35

That seems really hard on your husband, if he is a good husband why would you leave him? Unless I'm misunderstanding your post. I would get it if he was crap, but it doesn't sound as if he is?

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He isn't, in fact he's probably a better parent than I am.

My point was about how I struggle being a mother and I'd be a much happier mother and person doing it only part time. The whole point of this thread is things you can't say out loud due to being judged about it.

godmum56 · 18/10/2025 19:24

Mistletoewench · 18/10/2025 19:08

The best weddings I have attended were in the 80s and 90s in village halls and back rooms in pubs, proper good knees up.
we have had to decline a couple of weddings which were far away and scheduled in the week, just to expensive for us to attend 😔

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but those were the receptions, not the weddings.

Newstartplease24 · 18/10/2025 19:47

I can’t say out loud what I think about AI as it would damage my work prospects too much. But I know what I think; and I know I won’t say a word; and it makes me think that more people think like me than let on.

godmum56 · 18/10/2025 19:54

Newstartplease24 · 18/10/2025 19:47

I can’t say out loud what I think about AI as it would damage my work prospects too much. But I know what I think; and I know I won’t say a word; and it makes me think that more people think like me than let on.

??????