Moving from private to state - was it a waste?

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Fees becoming unbearable now so DD year 6 we are looking at state schools and she will hopefully get into our local state school come September.

I have a younger DD also in private year 4 and we are thinking of doing the same when she gets into year 6 too.

I just feel it’s been a waste that we spent/will spend so much from age 4 to age 11. Can anyone make me feel a little at ease with our choice please and advise if you did similar, I’m also debating whether to take younger dd out now. My eldest absolutely loves her school and I am so upset for her. She’s naturally a “nerd” and absolutely fits into the life at private school. I’m not so worried about younger one as she’s more feisty and more confident. I’m just really worried eldest DD will get bullied in our local state. It’s not great but it’s definitely not the worst one in area.

Most state schools don't focus on gifted children on the same level as pricate schools can afford. Most gifted children do well anyway. Some gifted children I know of have a tutor at home working with them for extra challenges.
If you are in a grammar school area your could go for that. A gifted child should easily sit the 11+ for admission.

@User79853257976 its an inner London state school ( our local one), the other 2 are not in our borough but only 1.51 miles away and 1.80 miles away. It’s actually quicker to get to than our “local” one

We do t have grammar schools near us. I did enquire but the one nearest to us that she could get into is still quite far and would take ages for her to get to on public transport. No school buses from our location either

Most state secondary schools have sets for maths right from the early weeks. A child in my form was doing A-level further maths questions in Year 9.

Some comps are more overwhelming than others for shy, geeky kids. But there is usually a library and a group of children attached to it. Everyone finds their tribe.

I felt it was a waste. When I moved my son to state in year 7, everyone said he’d be streets ahead of the other kids. He wasn’t. He wasn’t behind but was fair to middling. I moved him for both financial reasons, and the fact he hated it the private school. Ultimately he did well in state.

No of course it's not the norm for 93% of a cohort.

If you are in London, there are excellent state sixth forms with great results. So if it’s possible to stay until GCSES and then move, that’s an option.

But otherwise, consider it as an 11-16 school. There are lots of good and excellent state schools in London.

That’s a good idea! Do we have to be in catchment for 6th forms? There’s some lovely state schools in next borough over. We actually live on the border but are considered out of catchment for nicer borough!

Inner London is known for good and excellent state schools and families are tbh often doing better than avarage. It's extremely hard to settle as a family in Inner London so absolutely not families without resources.

I have a very nerdy DS who’s never set foot in a private school.

He’s got 12 A stars at GCSE, 4 A grades at AS level and is on target for a 4 A stars at A level. No tutoring involved.

He’s got loads of friends at school.

It’s a 9 form entry school so big, but there are bigger. The advantage of bigger cohorts is that you are more likely to find your tribe.

You seem to have an awful lot of negative thoughts about state schools and their pupils. They (the schools and their pupils) are not all the same. It sounds as if you have no choice but to move your dc from private to state so you really need to get your head around this before you pass on your prejudices.

Its not a waste. your child would have had so many experiences others didn’t.
We recently had many friends changing from private to state, and even to the best primary schools around, the difference is stark. There is so much less emphasis on bringing the best out of all children. Teachers just don’t have the bandwidth to look after the ones that reach “expected “.
I personally find primary more important than secondary, it sets children up with a love of learning, ability to organise themselves, and the willingness to work hard (even if they are on “expected “). At secondary age, they can apply these and use all opportunities provided to them.

There are plenty of geeky kids at state school too. She will find her tribe. 93% of kids in the U.K. go to state school. Not all of them are rough and ready. There are plenty of middle class ones too. Try not to stress.

‘Fees are unbearable’.

That is all the info that’s needed. You can’t afford private school - end of, and you need to accept that.

Yes, it is a waste in your case, because you have set up quite a bit of schooling description when you likely knew it wasn’t financially sound.

Elaborate on the bullying concerns. What are they specifically?

My son is gloriously geeky, loves learning and is thriving at state school. There are plenty of ferociously bright and studious children at state schools.
Yeah he doesn't get invited to the parties with the "cool gang" but he doesn't care. He has an awesome and fun group of friends

And plenty of incredibly bright WC children too. Some of the brightest people at my university went to real sink schools and were first generation university students.

I think you need to go and look at the state schools and look extremely critically. Ask to see their learning apps if they have them and the powerpoint slides they use.

Ask how many kids there are in their classes, especially English (is it 30 or nearer 40).

Ask how many of their classes have teachers who have a degree in the subject they study. Ask especially about computer science and maths. Ask how many lessons have cover teachers, and how many times the named teacher for the science/maths classes have changed so far this year.

What are the punishments, what does the child need to do to be put in isolation.

Ask to see the documentation of any recent complaints that have gone to panel. These should be on display in reception.

@TryingToFigureItOut2 thank you! Really good questions to ask.

My child is year 8 in a state school, is bright and definately mathematically gifted. He is in the top sets and is working on extension tasks within that where needed. (I actually know this because I'm a teaching assistant in a College and the maths homework he has is similar to what I support our adults with on their maths GCSE course.) This may be a distinction between a good school that cares about all pupils, and a bad one that doesn't, but it is definately NOT just a distinction between state and private!

You’re seeing a small handful of kids misbehaving - this doesn’t mean every child at a state school behaves like this.
my DD is in year 8 at a state comp - she is very able and academic and she’s having a very positive experience. She is set in maths and English and enjoys a broad and balanced curriculum, with generally good behaviour in classes. She went through a state primary that was fairly middle of the road reputation wise, and was supported to get full marks in all her SATS papers. State schools are not all terrible and full of thugs

There were more geeky girls at dds all girl state school than at the private schools! More cool girls in the private schools (who dd2 befriended as the state cohort too square 🙄).

She’s now at another state school for 6th form which is stuffed with kids from local private schools who moved there for 6th form

The first 8 years are pivotal in child development. That and the final 4 years are most important in my opinion

Some state schools are absolutely fantastic . There are lots of outstanding and good rated schools that have examination results that are far above the national average - your daughter would’ve had a good solid primary education so she should be in a good position to go to one of the better schools

I have no experience of private vs state but I moved across the country between y6 and y7 so knew no-one when I began state secondary. I would move the younger dc now so they build up a network of friends for secondary.

The poor behaviour of other pupils was why we chose to move from (so called excellent) state to private I’m afraid. Bullying, violence, unprompted assaults on pupils. When you go around I’d ask what consequences there for volience and bullying. If it’s all about ‘restorative conversations’ I’d be very concerned. If the school is prepared to permanently exclude I’d be less so.

From my experience in both sectors, it isn’t a difference in quality of teaching (and I realise this will sound pedantic) but resourcing and environment. In the state sector, the ‘good’ teachers actually have to be, relatively speaking, more mindful of pedagogy and lesson planning, more deliberate in building skills and knowledge, and more creative in how they engage their pupils because, on average, pupils’ prior knowledge is lower and needs (behavioural and SEND) are greater. You often get better teaching per se in state out of necessity. That’s not to say there aren’t bad teachers in the state sector and great teachers in the private sector.

Where private often wins out is that they usually exclude a proportion of the population with the poorest skills and knowledge and greatest pastoral issues. This means that classes can be more focused and progress can seem to be greater, as the starting point is higher, (although relative progress in the state sector outstripped that in private at GCSE for the first time in 2024 I think). Classes will obviously often be smaller as well. As more students are skewed towards the top end in private, another way that teaching may seem to be better is that a larger amount of more challenging subject material is likely be covered, although nothing stellar that wouldn’t be in the grasp of a subject specialist with an undergraduate degree.