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Autistic child attacking DD part 2

2 replies

HollandAndCooper · 15/10/2025 09:14

Original thread here:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5420774-autistic-child-attacking-dd?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Hi Everyone,

me back again looking for advice, perhaps some last minute advice as I have a meeting scheduled with the head teacher this morning.

DD aged 4 has been very unwell and spent a week off school. She is really going through it at the moment. She returned to school yesterday after her time off, and I'd hoped that the boy in question would've got bored and moved on. I did have a meeting booked last week but couldn't go due to DD being poorly.

well.. it turns out he hasn't got bored and moved on. It's a very small school with 20-25 per class, one class per year from reception to year 2.

the event that happened yesterday, by DDs account.
it was play time and DD was playing with a couple other girls in the play ground. Child in question was calling DD names like 'baby' and 'you need nappies' and announced he was going to the toilet.
he came back out and proceeded to have faeces on his finger to which he wiped on her cardigan.

a staff member took her to the quiet room, swapped her cardigan for one in lost property and the cardigan was handed to me in a bag on pick up. With still an evident stain on it.

i have a meeting this morning.

I have a copy of the safe guarding policy, anti bullying policy. I just need some wise words from MN now with what I need to say but I'm going down the route of failing to keep my child safe, and this is a huge safeguarding issue, not to mention a biohazard issue.
please be kind, I'm a single parent doing my best, and she won't be returning until she is safe.

so far the child has:
kicked, punched, pinched, clouted her on the head with a metal water bottle, name called and taunted. And now this.

she will not be going back to the school until this is sorted and there are proper sanctions in place. I am so angry and utterly heartbroken for her. She has been so poorly last week and in and out of hospital and I cannot see her broken like this anymore.

i appreciate the old thread is 1000 posts but there's more information on there if needed.
My AIBU is I guess to want this child excluded and put as far away from DD as possible. But I know it's not that simple. I'm at a total loss and they are failing to safe guard my child. She will not be returning until she can be safe, I'm also looking at other provisions for her now.
thanks in advance.

HopeMumsnet · 15/10/2025 13:17

Hi all,
We've made a couple of deletions on this thread and we would ask that everyone be conscious of their language and the fact that, when all is said and done, we are talking about a child. We would be grateful and it would result in fewer deletions.

HopeMumsnet · 16/10/2025 07:28

RolyPolyHolyMolyIAmTheOneAndOnly · 16/10/2025 01:23

I’m not sure what you’re trying to say, but I have email exchanges with mnhq that confirm deletions on my request. The type of language is where posters have indicated that the little boy is ‘damaged’ in some way, often with more descriptive and unkind/inappropriate language.
I do feel for the OP and absolutely agree that she is right to advocate for her child, as it is awful to be subjected to behaviour like this, however I think the grown-ups need to remember that we are talking about two four year old small children, so it is important to remember that this little boy, who clearly needs more support than he currently has, is also a child.

Hi all,
Yes, just to pick up on this, we have made quite a few deletions on this thread (reported by a fair few MNers) because we felt that the descriptions of the child in question crossed the line into ableism and were also tbh just a bit grim. This is a site for peer support and we very much understand the upset but there are limits to what is a reasonable and compassionate way to talk about children, especially those with special needs, so we would ask you to bear that in mind from now on.

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