Inheritance

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Inspired by a currently active thread, surely there must be some MNetters out there who haven't inherited anything from grandparents or parents? DF is still alive - I'm pretty sure DM, who passed away a couple of years ago, left everything to him, and I'm not holding out for any inheritance from DF as I feel it is safer to assume any assets could well be eaten up by care home fees or any unexpected events. I inherited nothing from any grandparents. Yes, you bet I am jealous of those who have been more fortunate than I in this area! Is it just a Mumsnet thing where people expect to, or have received, an inheritance?

My mum died and left everything in a mirror will to dad who had undiagnosed dementia and rapidly declined after her death.
After I endured a hellish 13 months of working full time, parenting my own ND adult children still at home, trying to manage paid carers, cleaning dad's home, doing his shopping etc, then he had one fall too many and had to move into a lovely nursing home which he quickly settled in (TBF I would move there in the blink of an eye just for the rest and cooked breakfast). Within 9 months all savings gone within 12, their beautiful bungalow was sold to pay for the fees, it made me feel sick.
My mum would have been furious for the grandchildren's inheritance to disappear had she realised it would happen. She had always hoped to leave them each enough for a home deposit.

I think it's going to be increasingly hard for people to buy property without any sort of inheritance. Not impossible but much harder.

I'm lucky in that i had help and can help my children.

@4catsaremylife that's so sad about your parents.

But who should have paid for your dad's care if not him? An inheritance isn't a right, and if someone needs care and has money to cover it then it should be used for that. I did inherit a little from my parents and it would have been an awful lot more if they hadn't needed care but I don't begrudge the money being spent on that as it was a huge load off my mind.

Of course it’s not a MN thing to get some inheritance! The amounts will vary massively, but most people will get something from their parents, and many will get something from grandparents. Personally, I also got a very unexpected two grand from an uncle.

My grandparent passed not long ago and mum didn’t check she wanted to change her will. She left everything to her deceased son (who she said she’d already given all his inheritance too -he was a leech) so it gets passed onto his kids who all bar one bothered about her occasionally . I was annoyed because I know she would’ve hated our kids didn’t get anything and I had to quit my study to look after her when my parents went away..but then I think they had a real shit dad. My uncle was the worst. Figured I won’t miss anything I didn’t have before. Plus I was lucky to have so many memories with her.

My brother and sister are already fighting over their inheritances and our parents are very much still alive. I’d like my parents to just use their money themselves like they always said they would. I hate how this tears families apart.

One in four people will use up all funds on care, so there’s a 50:50 chance your parents will leave you nothing.

I was supposed to get £1k when my dad died but it's been over 18 months now and his bank are refusing to pay it out as I don't have photo ID.

I'm very unlikely to outlive my mother baring catastrophic accident so I won't be getting anything there either. All aunts and uncles have several children each. I don't think I'll get a penny anywhere.

Mine died a long time ago, lived in rented accommodation, and had no savings, so no, not a bean 🙄

We were expected to inherit a reasonable amount from parents & a childless uncle of mine. No expectations from us, though.

There DF has lost it all through poor investing & anything left will be eaten in care fees. FIL has remarried & diverted most of his in his will & what's left supports his ill health. My uncle has decided (ok his wife did) that no one was getting anything & it's all being left to charity. (This one only stings because I've done a lot for him & he wants me to manage his age care).

Am I jealous of those who inherit? Absolutely yes. But in the end, as long as we're not having to pay for their age care or be left to sort out debts, they don't owe us anything.

The problem is people who make plans about the future, even if only on a fantasising basis, based on inheritance. Those who don't ever think about it don't struggle with disappointment and make plans that involves large amount of money based on their income.

I find it very very odd to 'wait' for inheritance. It's so disrespectful of the elders and leaves one in a control- less state of mind. Not how I want to live my life.

DM left nothing. I’m NC with my father, so if he doesn’t get round to writing me out of his will I don’t care.

I lost my mum, dad, fil and grandad all around the age of 30.
we got quite a lot of inheritance which paid off our mortgage.
I would rather have had nothing and kept my parents another 20 years

My dad died and left everything to the wicked stepmother in a mirror will.
I could have contested this, but as I had bo contact for many years it wasn't something I wanted to do. She can chocke on that money

My mum is still alive and I hope so for a long time! She had a substantial inheritance from her parents and she uses this for holidays. And you know how it is with the elderly they do need some company. So we usually go away once a year on a lovely girly trip sponsored by my grandparents!
So in effect my mum is blowing MY inheritance on holidays, and I wouldn't have it any other way! Life is about the quality time we spent with our friends & family, not the money we might or not get when they pass

My maternal and paternal grandparents had nothing to leave my parents. At the end they were cared for by family in their own homes but they didn’t own property. They were very working class.

my parents and FIL are still alive. My parents are late 60’s and fil is mid 70’s. Both own homes worth around 600k and 300k. My mil and fil were divorced any years before she died. My dh received about 20k.

I’m one of 6 and we all live close to my parents. I would say we’ll try and care for them between us when we need to so we might get some inheritance if they don’t need residential care.

my fil has 2dc. My sil has said fil can move in with her if he needs to at any point. So my dh might get an inheritance but neither myself or Dh are counting on anything. We’d actually rather my fil downsized now and enjoyed his retirement but he’s a bit old school.

My mother dropped dead completely unexpectedly last year. Only 69. Worked incredibly hard right up to the day of her death. Left me about $1.5 million (Australian). I would give it all back. I am destroyed and so depressed. I often wish I was dead too. So the inheritance is not all it’s cracked up to be.

Before DM passed, went over everything before dementia set in, and I've been paying personally for long-term care insurance for years and years, which will need it sooner than later after seeing what government assistance won't cover although it's been a burden financially. Take the responsibility though to have the conversation and make sure everyone's paperwork is updated, as no one is ever promised tomorrow. Regardless if there's an inheritance or not.

@ DoAWheelie -
“I was supposed to get £1k when my dad died but it's been over 18 months now and his bank are refusing to pay it out as I don't have photo ID.”

Would it not be worth getting a passport in order to be able to claim this money? Who was the executor of your father’s will? When my DD’s godparent died, she was left a small legacy which was simply paid to her.

Both parents have died, left me nothing. Mum had been in a care home for 7 years, dad for 8 months, I paid “ top up” for both. Before that, they lived in an annex I built and made a small contribution towards bills but nothing more. They rented before moving in with me, Dad had a very small private pension, mum had none. The money in the bank account paid for the funeral ( during Covid, so a very small one) but no more,
But I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I didn’t inherit any money but I did have them with me for the last 10 years of their lives and that was more than enough. I’m sure inheriting a fortune is lovely but it isn’t everything. My children MIGHT inherit from me, I have my own house, but I might need a care home too so Ive warned them not to expect much and they don’t!

DH and I have never and will never inherit anything. But no, I’m not jealous of people that do. We’ve both got two arms and two legs, we are responsible for ourselves and are perfectly capable of building our own lives and legacy.

We don’t plan for inheritance. All our financial planning disregards it. My DGrandma disinherited one child and I wouldn’t be surprised if DM disinherits me. DParents have a healthy net worth, enough for my siblings and me to retire. I just don’t expect it. And like you I imagine it’ll go on care home fees.

People who say “i inherited loads but I’d rather have that person” don’t seem to get that the vast majority of people will watch their parents die. Nothing will replace a parent but being left some money can make such a difference to peoples lives.

I’ve been lucky in this respect with cash gifts (not hundreds of thousands or anything)and probably a lump sum at some point, DD will be set. I’m going to die anyway, I’d like my DD to have her life be a bit easier after I die because my death is pretty inevitable. It’s not going to make you happy but being able to help your own children is a massive gift.

My parents, dad in particular hates the thought of their home potentially being used to pay for care home fees but I’ve told them that should it come to that I will be in no position to care for them and if it takes using the house for them to be comfortable, safe and cared for so be it.

Apply for a provisional driving licence. It’s £34.

My dad died young and my mum was killed in a car accident. I got a reasonable inheritance, invested it all and will retire next year at 55. DH has a much more sizeable inheritance from his DF. His DM is in a care home but there will be a good amount left even if she lives another ten years (unlikely). We feel very fortunate in some ways, but plan to drip feed money down to our young adult DC much much sooner and die with very little left.