Inheritance

[realsavagelike]

Inspired by a currently active thread, surely there must be some MNetters out there who haven't inherited anything from grandparents or parents? DF is still alive - I'm pretty sure DM, who passed away a couple of years ago, left everything to him, and I'm not holding out for any inheritance from DF as I feel it is safer to assume any assets could well be eaten up by care home fees or any unexpected events. I inherited nothing from any grandparents. Yes, you bet I am jealous of those who have been more fortunate than I in this area! Is it just a Mumsnet thing where people expect to, or have received, an inheritance?

Well said, I cross posted with you. Sorry about your mum.

My parents were addicts, died penniless in their 40’s. We were cut off by grandparents due to our parents behaviour when they were alive. I always understood why they didn’t want anything to do with our parents but us kids had done nothing wrong. All our cousins inherited. We didn’t even get told they’d died till after the funerals.

my dh inherited some money from a grandparent and would of inherited a substantial amount from his parents but they both ended up with significant health care needs and we are just selling their house now to pay care home fees. Over 200 grand already paid out. But at least they are happy and comfortable where they are.

if we had of got an inheritance we would of been passing it straight down to our dc to help them into the housing ladder

No, it’s not a thing exclusive to this website.

I may have a small inheritance from my surviving parent when the time comes but her mum had Parkinson’s and we don’t have a great relationship, so I’m not expecting anything. Me and my sibling got nothing from grandparents.

My dad left me half of the house (shared with a sibling) and according to my estate planner, the money from the sale should have been put into a trust until my mum died. This could be seen as deprivation of assets, so you shouldn’t get anything from your mum’s passing until your dad also passes. I do wonder how many people actually do that.

If my mum needs care, it may mean that we need to pay back any transferred cash. She sold up and downsized, her choice, never expected her to move. You might need to look at care for your dad, so depending on equity/savings, you wouldn’t get anything anyway.

How did you expect your father's care home fees to be paid? Serious question.

I'm not sure about most. A good percentage maybe but not everyone has parents who own hoes and not every parent just passed money onto their kids.

Some friends in their early 70’s are happily spending their money on several holidays each year/nice clothes but it’s all on credit cards - paying over £3,000 per month to clear the debts.

Releasing equity from their house might be something they’ve done and if there is less equity, the care home fees (if they do go into a home) will eventually have to be covered by the Government when the money runs out.

I can see why people make these kind of choices but there might not be any inheritance for their children..

Not a lawyer but for those wanting to avoid care home fees I think if parents hold house as tenants in common then leave their share to children/grandchildren in will it cannot be touched. My parents were advised to do think but since I would never put them in an NHS care home I told them not to bother however it is a way of stopping their house (or at least all) of it being taken in fees.

There's an ad running on TV atm for inheritance planning and someone says, "I don't want to give the money to the Council."
As if "the Council" then gets to go on a nice holiday off the sale of Margaret's family home.

Why do we all expect that someone else should be paying for care? Most people complain about paying their taxes as it is. Where else do they think the money comes from?

I'm late 40's and have never received anything. My DF died 20 years ago and just left a whole lot of mess to sort out. My mum is nearly 80 and I have very little expectation there. DH's parents are very wealthy and I know we are looked after in their will (well he is) but they are still relatively young and will hopefully have a long time left. I may inherit from another relative but it's not something I'm counting on it's just been intimated.

I am slightly jealous of those who have been given lots of money. My dsis and her family inherited from her husband's family and have been gifted large sums over the years (100's thousands). I sometimes find it hard to bite my tongue when she complains about money despite everything they have been given and are due to get.

Slightly off topic but this is why there will be huge Council Tax rises in the future with the ageing population social care is not sustainable and remember most people don't pay that much towards their care if it remains in their own home. The whole thing is a ticking time bomb.

Half of the people who end up self-funding reside in the same care homes as those who’re state-funded. So I can see why some people do what they can to avoid paying for fees.

You could change inheritance tax so everyone with exception of spouses paid 20% IHT on everything then kept the existing threshold for 40% as it is. If that money was ring fenced for social & health care then the bill could be collectively covered vs some elderly people self funding care and spending all their savings due largely just to bad luck health wise.

My brother and I were very lucky to receive a decent inheritance (£250,000 each approx) from a mad old auntie. It really has set us both up for life. Made us both mortgage free which just gives us more day to day money from our wages.

I guess we will eventually inherit when our parents pass as well but I'd much.rather have them in our lives. They have been giving my kids their inheritance early when they needed the funds to buy their own houses, so 2 of them so far have had their deposits paid for which has got them on the housing ladder.

No nothing here , on one side grandparents I was one of 21 (they had seven kids) and very little money.

the other side was a bit stranger , they only had two children (one my parent) who died 10 years before them .
nothing came to us. All went to my uncle.

he’s not married and childless , so I may get something eventually, but equally care home fees would wipe anything out.

I assume that there is nothing coming from relatives.

it’s best not to dwell on it .

PIL have been pleading poverty ever since they retired. Turns out they have been higher rate tax payers, bought a buy to let for additional income. Inheritance tax will be paid if no substantial care costs.
There's no secret savings account for GC. £50 for an 18th. The other siblings have had child care and holidays funded plus helping hand outs.
I just wish they'd been more generous in years gone by. I feel sick about the efforts we made as young earners to pay our way when they were making three times our salaries in pension. And the siblings can step up for caring.

It's not your inheritance. It's their money to use as needed to make their lives as comfortable as possible until the day they die.

Why would anyone begrudge an elderly parent using funds they've built up over their whole lives (presumably by working hard and saving) to support themselves in their old age and ensure they get the best possible care when they need it?

If people want to ensure they gift their children or grandchildren a house deposit etc, they should perhaps do that whilst they are alive. However, if they do, they are doing it on the understanding it may leave them short in old age and therefore being able to afford a much less comfortable old age than they'd planned for.

It's an incredibly selfish attitude to think your parents or grandparents should go without in their later years just so you get enough for a house deposit rather than just saving for it yourself.

My family were wealthy, but each generation since my GGM over the last 100 years made absolutely terrible financial decisions, which has whittled away any family money and property to pretty much nothing. It occasionally rankles just a touch

My DH's family are very wealthy, with properties and financial interests in the UK and abroad. However, as the years go on, even those resources will be sunk into making older members of the family comfortable in their later years, and definitely care home fees for my in laws. Around £200,000 has been spent this year alone - I doubt much will be left for the five DC who might have inherited.

There is no bitterness about it. It wasn't ever our money. Someone else earned it, and it's being used for the right thing.

If it's any comfort OP I will not inherit anything from my father except debts..Luckily you can't inherit those.

I’m always staggered at the thoughtlessness or worse, carelessness of those parents who remarry and don’t make provision for their children.

And I’m also shocked at the lack of morality and basic human decency of new spouses who are prepared to inherit everything from their new partner and who don’t ‘ see his (original) children right’.

So your parents are still alive @realsavagelike but you’re jealous of people whose parents are not?!

I mean… I know that’s being obtuse, but you need to reframe things!! You do realise that inheritance means there has been loss, don’t you??

My parents don't have a penny. I'll probably just have a big bill for funerals and (their council) house clearance.

My parents inherited nothing from their parents. Neither did my PIL. Our parents do own their own property but we expect that will be needed to fund their older age and any care. If, as their POA, I have to make decisions about their care later, I will spend every cent they have to make sure they have the best care possible. It's their money, they earned it, I have no right to expect anything but residuals, and no right to expect there should be residuals left.

You can get a pass ID card from the post office for £15, I think you can apply online as well. It’s good for voting as well. Worth getting.

So sorry for your loss @FlakyRedLion