Inheritance

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Inspired by a currently active thread, surely there must be some MNetters out there who haven't inherited anything from grandparents or parents? DF is still alive - I'm pretty sure DM, who passed away a couple of years ago, left everything to him, and I'm not holding out for any inheritance from DF as I feel it is safer to assume any assets could well be eaten up by care home fees or any unexpected events. I inherited nothing from any grandparents. Yes, you bet I am jealous of those who have been more fortunate than I in this area! Is it just a Mumsnet thing where people expect to, or have received, an inheritance?

Disabled persons rail card perhaps?

Yes, me too. I've seen it happen with a friend's family. Even in my own family, it's causing problems as my DM keeps changing her plans and discussing this in front of us. Her latest choices are so unfair but I just keep my mouth shut.

No. Some of us are single parents and that means our kids are worse off if we die young versus a remaining adult spouse.

I hate the new IHT. You always think about it in terms of elderly parents and people getting a windfall. Should be a provision for parents who die leaving dependent kids.

I don’t think it’s a matter of envy. The fact that some people inherit vast amounts (not the people in this thread, I’m thinking of the truly wealthy, think of oh - David Cameron as a example) means that money is used in an inefficient way. It is wasted on treats and pointless luxuries when it could be used in practical ways for things people need. It increases inequality, which distorts the market (eg for house prices) and significantly reduces social stability & cohesion.

I don’t have any issue with ordinary people inheriting mum & dad’s house. But I think massive inheritances (often involving extensive tax planning) are having a very adverse effect on society.

I used (a long time ago at the start of my career) to work in estate planning- that’s inheritance planning for the very wealthy.

Also honestly if you got to choose I’d 100% prefer that my parents died suddenly next year than that they developed dementia next year, soon didn’t know who I was, and lived for another 5 or 10 or 20 in a care home confused as to what was happening to them and becoming gradually less and less coherent and more frightened.

I think when people say they’d rather have that extra time they rarely think what that time would be like and if it would really be a good thing for their loved ones.

Obviously there are lots of in between scenarios but the one where you effectively lose your parents to dementia first seem to be the ones that most typically result in all their money going to care fees so as you say those people just lose both 😢

DH and I haven't inherited anything. My mum is one of 9, and my grandparents house was sold for £90k. I got bought a £100 watch.

DH's parents are very middle class and should be incredibly comfortable, but are so financially reckless theyre as poor as church mice, and have eaten up any money left by his grandparents.

DH also won't inherit a penny from his parents. They are so stupid with money, they are still in debt in their mid 70s and will certainly equity release their home. As long as they can't touch OUR finances, we don't care and just pity them really.

Yes, I got 10k from my mum that I spent on paying off debts and doing up my house (decorating) then flogging it after ex cheated and left me with his debts. At least he got nothing from the house sale. 😁

Dad died when I was in my teens and no inheritance from grandparents as they got cheated out of their home, business and savings by their oldest greedy daughter and son-in-law. My mum had to step up and take grandma into our 3 bed semi as she was effectively homeless with dementia. I was a teenager and it was all a bit shit. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My best friend has received a lot of money from various inheritances BUT, her husband died young leaving her with 2 young children and no amount of money makes up for that. 😢

My mum won’t receive anything from dgm when she passes. It’s all been eaten up by care fees.

if dgm was of sound mind (dementia) she would be so mad at this.

dm is adamant that me and my sis will receive half of everything her and ddad have. But I’m not counting on it.

id rather they enjoyed what they have now not hoard it for the future. Which is what they’re doing.

Why would anyone begrudge an elderly parent using funds they've built up over their whole lives (presumably by working hard and saving) to support themselves in their old age and ensure they get the best possible care when they need it?

But paying £5k a month or whatever @Singleoldermum doesn’t guarantee you’ll get the best care. Don’t be under the illusion that the self-finders reside in wonderful homes with the most attentive and motivated staff, and the state-funders are in the crappy homes.

The problem is the new IHT rules significantly impact not just the super wealthy, but move many more people into the IHT category.

My Mother left everything to her favourite child, not me. At least there were 6 of us so 5 of us were upset together so could talk about it. DH Father left everything to DH sister, much joking about us being the non favourite children so meant to be together. If wills had been fair and equitable then we should have had about 250k between us.

Parents rented their whole lives with no savings, so not a penny from them!

No parents left, no grandparents left, no inheritance. My family just leave chaos when they die.

My wonderful aunt is terminally ill. She may leave me a small sum but has helped me practically and financially over the years. She has a husband and they have two children and two grandchildren so I’d expect I’d get a token rather than substantial cash.

DH got about £2k from his step grandmother 15 years ago.

DH’s parents have a fairly valuable estate and are late 70s and well so I would not be surprised if they lived healthily for another 20 years (which I really hope they do).

My father's uncle was a bachelor and never left the family farm. It was left to him to live out his day until his death by his parents, under the understanding that it would then pass to the 8 nieces and nephews, split equally.

Well. Great Uncle dies. The farm is worth multiple millions. The cousins get together to open the will....and it is all left to only one of them. My father's sister. Not a penny to anyone else. Sister acts surprised but slinks off and never offers anything to anyone else. She was close to Great Uncle, but no closer than some of the other cousins, and didn't do any 'more' for him. She won't admit it, but something made Great Uncle change the will to exclude the other 7. I think some of them tried to challenge it, but it was cut and dry as he was of sound mind when the will was written.

It caused a huge family rift. My Dad was miffed but somehow has been able to maintain a relationship with his sister, but none of the other cousins do. I must admit, its definitely made me look at my Aunt in a different light, particularly as she promptly sold the land off to developers and now swans around the world business class, and posts all the snaps on insta...

the other issue is the age you are when you inherit. I’m in my late 40s with all 4 of parents and parents in law alive. Very few people I know of my age have had an inheritance yet.

The assumption seems to be that older people will skip a generation and leave money to grandchildren, but in practice I don’t know anyone who inherited a large amount when grandparents died, many of their parents did, it didn’t automatically trickle down. The only people I know who got help with deposits got that from parents who were wealthy, retired from very well paid jobs, not automatically passing on inheritance.

DH and I have made our way in life without any inheritances. We’re in our 50s and his parents are still alive but we will receive something in 5-10 years, assuming they do as they plan and remain living at home and have home carers visit. They are both very active and independent at 84 and family members seem to live until early 90’s with just the final weeks spent in a hospice.

Anything we get will be welcome as DG we’ll finally be retired then. But we are practically mortgage free now - we have an offset mortgage with 90-95% of the outstanding amount in a linked savings account, plus savings to cover the rest) - so any inheritance will cushion retirement and provide fun money. We do plan to downsize upon retirement and release money for the kids to invest in their first homes in their 20/30s [rather than wait until we die and they are in their 50s too], but they will receive a decent inheritance from us - we’ve worked hard to financially plan for both theirs and our futures… though the current labour govt will no doubt dream up some cash grab to spoil that.

But no. Not a penny from anyone else.

If my mum or dad had done this I’d have shared with my sister - what a mean thing to do without a specific reason (disability etc).

Nothing for me Op. I’m proud to have worked hard all my life for everything I have and to have saved for my own future. I’m also happy that my parents lived long enough to spend all of their savings - thats the legacy my parents left me and I’m very content with it.
Don't get me wrong, a windfall would be lovely but it’s not going to happen !

I haven’t, my grandparents had nothing, barely enough to pay for their funerals, anything left went to their children, my parents are still alive but if they get dementia then everything will go on care (rightly). My dc are both currently buying properties, my mum gave them £5k each to help with actual moving expenses, furniture etc but I have nothing spare. One dc saved deposit completely herself, buying on own (not London but is SE) other has had undisclosed help from her fil!

A friend did not want to inherit her brother’s estate because, she said, there would be too many arguments in the family..

Instead she gave the whole £200,000 to her son (who was the next closest blood relative to her brother) who can’t even be bothered to visit or treat her to the one thing she has wanted for her birthday over the last three years - a day trip to the coast!

My mother generously split what she inherited from her father with equal shares between herself, me and my other sibling. It was about 60k each, so much appreciated, and not expected.

She has her faults but I will always appreciate that she did that for me, and help me to get my own place (which I then regretted buying but that's another story!)

None here and I have managed fine as a single working mother not on any benefits and I know lots the same. I did laugh some years ago when someone was going on at length about how they scrimped and saved for years to clear off their mortgage when everyone knew fine well it was an inheritance but each to their own I guess.

I agree you should pay for your own care. The question is should your spouse’s money also go on your care.

My dad changed his will to leave his money to me and my brother rather than my mum (his wife) as she’s been diagnosed with dementia. Her money will rightly be spent on her care, it’s not a given she should inherit from someone else and then their money go on her care too.

My friend (and sister) has inherited multiple times from elderly relatives. Her life has been undoubtedly easier than most people. She could work part time, invest in hobbies, ski holidays and once she has children she has never had to return to work.

I don't envy her but recognise she doesn't understand her privilege and fortunate position so doesn't have a generosity of spirit, I guess it's led to entitlement. Anyone who has been gifted an inheritance should recognise their fortunate position - it's important to acknowledge life can be easier with money.

Neither of my sets of grandparents were wealthy. They owned homes in poor parts of northern england worth about 120k each and didn't have any other savings of note. After funeral costs and stuff i think they each got about 35k (siblings got similar shares). My dad gave me & my siblings 5k each out of his which was really nice, my mum has a smaller pension than dad so her 35k is a bit of a nest egg in case anything happens to dad. My parents house is worth about 500k but I'm expecting some/all of that to go in paying for care as they don't have much by way of other assets. It's their money, i don't have a sense of me being entitled to a share.

By contrast i live in the south east now and the unearned property wealth is immense. Lots of friends locally have parents and grandparents who bought houses for 200k in the 90s that are now worth £1.5m, plus have savings/share portfolios. When DH grandmother (a Surrey resident) passed there was a £1.3m pot split between 3 siblings.