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AIBU?

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Original poster

To find 'pet' names unprofessional in CS?

216 replies

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:24

Am I being unreasonable to find the usage of pet names by customer service staff unprofessional?

I am the customer and a stranger, I expect to be treated with respect. My name isn't sweetheart, it isn't love, honey, darling or sweetie.

I think pet names are fine for family members, spouses or CLOSE friends. Am I being unreasonable to think there is a time and a place for such familiarity?

OP posts:
Original poster
BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/10/2025 17:27

It is a very normal part of life in many areas of the country, @BigFatBully. Up here in Scotland, people get called ‘hen’ - and I have always loved being called that.

YANBU to dislike it - you have every right to your likes and dislikes - but I don’t think it is going to change.

CopperWhite · 13/10/2025 17:28

Your second post makes you sound like a joyless, uptight fun sponge.

MidnightPatrol · 13/10/2025 17:28

I take it in the may it’s meant - so no, am not offended by it.

bigwhitedog · 13/10/2025 17:29

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

This is a whole different ball game than a man calling a woman love and if I was the barman I would have wondered were you okay.

INX · 13/10/2025 17:29

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

I bet your husband cringed.

With regards to your OP, I think it's fine in customer service, in fact I'll go as far as to say I find it comforting to speak to a friendly person.

It's not like you're in court with a barrister calling you ducky.

EmeraldPebble · 13/10/2025 17:29

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

If I was the bartender I’d be thinking you were uptight or a prick to be honest.

NoSoupForU · 13/10/2025 17:30

What? You're a customer in a shop, you're not the bloody queen!

As long as someone isn't being rude or treating me badly I couldn't give a shit what they call me.

NoSoupForU · 13/10/2025 17:31

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

Are you actually Hyacinth Bucket? Or do you just aspire to be?

youmustbeshittingme · 13/10/2025 17:31

I’m not bothered about familiarity so much but I don’t really like ‘love’ and ‘sweetheart’ and similar but less fussed if it’s a regional term of endearment.

Your example of the barman calling your husband ‘pal’ makes you sound really pissy.

The only time I’ve ever corrected anyone is in a difficult conversation like a complaint. That does wind me up, otherwise I just let it go and get on with my day.

Jellybunny56 · 13/10/2025 17:32

You’re lucky they’re using nice pet names I reckon, if they could read this they’d be swapping them out for some much less kind names- can think of a few!

HoneyPie12 · 13/10/2025 17:32

I would worry about being a total dickwad, yes.

RoastLambs · 13/10/2025 17:34

I think you are absolutely ridiculous to be frank. It’s part of the English language that people talk in this way to one another in informal settings. It’s not compulsory to interact with other humans. You could stay in more.

I hope your husband isn’t having a liaison with the bartender though. That would be quite the twist.

MummyChocolateMonster · 13/10/2025 17:35

None of this would bother me - it often seems friendly. I certainly wouldn’t challenge someone for it. That’s just mean.

newtlover · 13/10/2025 17:35

where on earth are you being called honey and sweetie?
that has never happened to me
I've had - dear, love, darling
in my youth I could get bolshy about this, as any of these from a man to a younger woman may carry condescension. But now I find I only get this in informal contexts and the intention is friendly. If it isn't I just raise my eyebrows at them and they shuffle uncomfortably.

DelphiniumBlue · 13/10/2025 17:35

It's not at all appropriate, as it's often used in a way that is patronising or disrespectful.
I work in a school, we don't talk to children like that, it's certainly not OK to talk adults like that when you are dealing with them in a business capacity. I might just about accept it from a market trader, but I don't like it from a bank or medical staff. It's over-familiar and suggests that they are not treating you seriously, and often sexist - I don't think "love" or "darling "is equivalent to "mate "or "pal".

DiscoBob · 13/10/2025 17:35

Imagine questioning a member of bar staff for calling someone "pal"?
Ridiculous and rude of you. If that's your main concern in life you should count yourself incredibly lucky. And I'd imagine that barman wouldn't want to serve you again.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 13/10/2025 17:35

I get this from the other side - I work in retail and get called 'pet', 'honey' 'sweetheart', occasionally 'mate' and I actually love it. I don't have a SO in my life to call me anything and my kids just call me Mum, so it's really nice to have people being affectionate in speech towards me.

I don't do it to my customers, but that's because I was brought up in a different part of the country, where the term 'my lover' is used as a pet form of address and if I used that one on them I might get some very funny looks.

ConnieHeart · 13/10/2025 17:37

I also hate it when I'm on the phone to someone and they ask me a question, like "good morning Connie, how is your day going?" And I'll usually reply with a "ok thanks" (because I just want them to get to the point of the call & I'm not interested in talking about my day) and they say "perfect!" Or if I want to book a holiday, they ask me which airport I want to fly from, I tell them and they go "amazing!" I don't need to be complimented at every turn!

Thewalrusandthecarpenter · 13/10/2025 17:37

I like it in general - it’s friendly. There’s a scene in No More Meadows, by Monica Dickens, as Christine is leaving the UK for the US, post WWII, and someone calls her “ducks” and she wonders when she’ll hear that again.

TrifleSprinkles · 13/10/2025 17:37

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

Think you need to change the places you drink in or stop being such a snot.

ELO10538 · 13/10/2025 17:37

CopperWhite · 13/10/2025 17:28

Your second post makes you sound like a joyless, uptight fun sponge.

This x 1000.

Cynic17 · 13/10/2025 17:38

Of course it's unprofessional, not to mention patronising. These people aren't friends, so why should they be "friendly"? If they really can't bear to use Sir or Madam, then they just don't need to call customers by a name at all.

Davros · 13/10/2025 17:38

Awright mate?

diddl · 13/10/2025 17:39

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

Were you making a joke?

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