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AIBU?

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Original poster

To find 'pet' names unprofessional in CS?

216 replies

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:24

Am I being unreasonable to find the usage of pet names by customer service staff unprofessional?

I am the customer and a stranger, I expect to be treated with respect. My name isn't sweetheart, it isn't love, honey, darling or sweetie.

I think pet names are fine for family members, spouses or CLOSE friends. Am I being unreasonable to think there is a time and a place for such familiarity?

OP posts:
Fairywingsandroses · 13/10/2025 17:58

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

You sound a bit unpleasant, tbh, so I do think people are in the wrong for calling you a pet name.

PixieandMe · 13/10/2025 17:59

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

Oh, chill out, that’s an absolutely horrible way to treat someone who has served you. SO unkind.

Also, look up the definition of pet name because you don’t understand it!

MoominMai · 13/10/2025 18:00

I’m 52, have lived alone much of my life and have no friends/family so I actually quite like being addressed that way. I look pretty young for my age and get referred to as love, hun, sweet etc here in the Midlands even by young women barely out their 20s it seems. I think it’s very human and just lovely myself. It makes me feel even if the person said it unconsciously, there was a micro connection there which in my world of isolation means a lot!

Spidey66 · 13/10/2025 18:01

You’re a bundle of joy, ain’t you? Doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

Geordie01 · 13/10/2025 18:02

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

hahahahahahaha calm down pet. With this you come across as, I can’t even sugar coat it, an absolute cunt 😂. She’s not going to be back now she’s had her miserable arse handing to her is she!

Wishimaywishimight · 13/10/2025 18:03

Interesting username 😆

tripleginandtonic · 13/10/2025 18:04

You're sounding like Margot from the Good Life. Yabu.

Ooogle · 13/10/2025 18:04

You surely did not say that to the barman….your husband must have cringed so much

Knowsley · 13/10/2025 18:05

Cynic17 · 13/10/2025 17:38

Of course it's unprofessional, not to mention patronising. These people aren't friends, so why should they be "friendly"? If they really can't bear to use Sir or Madam, then they just don't need to call customers by a name at all.

This.
Darling is the one that irritates me the most.

MyAcornWood · 13/10/2025 18:05

What a miserable existence, to be looking for such offence in every nook and cranny of life and human interaction.

QuickPeachPoet · 13/10/2025 18:05

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

How horribly patronising. So he didn't even say it to you and you butted in just to prove your sad little point.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 13/10/2025 18:05

Would you like mere staff to grovel a bit too?

Absentosaur · 13/10/2025 18:07

YABU. Try being a radiator rather than a hoover. Your life will change almost immediately.

Yourmywifenow · 13/10/2025 18:07

NoSoupForU · 13/10/2025 17:31

Are you actually Hyacinth Bucket? Or do you just aspire to be?

Show quote history

🤣.

TypeyMcTypeface · 13/10/2025 18:07

CS staff aren't paid enough to justify altering their habitual speech patterns.

Theresabatinmykitchen · 13/10/2025 18:07

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

It is often said on here you can judge someone by the way they treat retail or wait staff, I think your username suits you perfectly.

whattheysay · 13/10/2025 18:10

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

Are you this joyless and uptight in all areas of your life or just in bars

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 13/10/2025 18:11

I'm happy with it, generally.

"Love" is usual in my area. But there was a point in time when "love" became "dear" - signifying the onset ol old age. 😓

itsgettingweird · 13/10/2025 18:11

Lord and lady Uptheirownbumingtons

Thats genius 🤣🤣🤣🤣

EmeraldShamrock000 · 13/10/2025 18:13

Well they would not use endearing responses, if they knew you personally. They'd know that you aren't a sweetheart.

BoredZelda · 13/10/2025 18:14

AllJoyAndNoFun · 13/10/2025 17:46

Come down and see us in Dorset, my lover! 🤣

I think it’s fine in informal settings like bars, trades etc

where there’s a more formal or serious vibe like teacher- parent, or doctor- patient I’d be a bit taken aback.

This was the one that sprang to my mine. I love it!

ExtraOnions · 13/10/2025 18:18

In this neck of the woods people use “cock” and “cocker” - you would have a meltdown.

evilharpy · 13/10/2025 18:19

A lady at work calls me "flower". She's a lovely person. A Brummie chap at a car rental firm I use occasionally calls me "Bab". He is also a lovely chap. Neither of them are being patronising. Never would have occurred to me to be offended by this. I think only the professionally and perpetually offended could find it within themselves to be upset at being referred to as "Flower".

popcornandpotatoes · 13/10/2025 18:22

BigFatBully · 13/10/2025 17:27

I hasten to add, we were in a bar the other day and my husband was referred to as "pal". I said to the bartender, "how do you know my husband for him to be your pal?"

Oh wow that's embarrassing

BusMumsHoliday · 13/10/2025 18:23

Marylou2 · 13/10/2025 17:43

I used to go to the Stoke/Staffordshire area for work and if someone didn't call me "me duck" I felt personally aggrieved. I adore a regional term of endearment. Usually love/lovely near me. Calling your husband Pal sounds quite Scottish/Glasweigan. I mean it's in a bar not at a solicitors.

Came here to say this about Stoke! I lived there for a bit, and I really miss being called "duck". Friendliest place I've ever lived.

I really can't get upset about this. It's usually clear if someone is using eg "sweetheart" in a condescending way. Most of the time "love", "darlin'", etc are just being warm and friendly.

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