To think this is worrying to hear from a mother?

[Brittno]

When I was 12 I had forgotten my dinner money and the secretary’s office in school used to lend money out.

I told my mother the evening after school that I’d forgotten my dinner money and had to borrow from the secretary and she replied, dramatically, without giving me eye contact :

“what will they think if the home, the best home in Leicester? “

We didn’t live in Leicester but a similar sized city

does it sound as though she’s a bit narc? She said it in a bitter tone of voice

Sorry. No idea what you’re talking about.

when you were 12? Seriously, this is a non issue. Build a bridge and get over it.

It's hard to tell if she's a narcissist from one comment.

I don't understand your post: "what will they think if the home, the best home in Leicester" makes no sense. Can you explain?

Without any other context this can’t be taken to mean anything, let alone diagnose a personality disorder.

I’m sure many of us give slightly disengaged / trying to be humorous / frustrated / dismissive / sarcastic responses when we’re tired or caught with another demand/issue etc.

I wonder how old you are and why you’re still hanging onto this specific incident?

Are you still twelve? This is the oddest post I've ever seen.

Op you need professional support and I suggest you channel your efforts in to setting that up rather than this thread

Was your mother Hyacinth Bucket?

It sounds as if she was overly concerned about public opinion. I dont know if one example is "worrying".

Think of ** the home

she thought the fact I went to school minus dinner money would reflect negatively on the home

I'm assuming it was a phrase possibly known only to the mother and it should say of not if.

Yes absolutely.

Hyancinth Bucket is a cross between my mum and her aunt

Well, yeah. I think most of us would think “Urgh, that’s embarrassing”.

It was one day not a pattern of starvation?!

Sorry for my typo yes should absolutely read

OF the home

Our school secretary would have definitely thought the mum was a bit shit for not providing money. Did you forget it or did your mum forget to give it to you? Either way I can see why your mum would be embarrassed.

I still don’t understand.

She said “what will they think of the home, the best home in [your city]” ?

That still doesn’t really make sense. I assume you’re implying she meant that you lived in the best home…

I might say our is the nicest house in town, but I don’t mean it. I say my dog is the most loved in the world but I doubt that’s true to. Neither make me narcissistic. I would have a minor worry about being judged by the school if my child had to borrow money from a teacher and would pay them back with profuse thanks and apologies.

So it seems like a totally banal comment to me? But there must be something else if it’s playing on your mind all these years later? (Assuming you’re not 13)

Lol good job you didn't do what my brother did. Stuffed dirty blazer in bag afte
Using for goalposts then when asked why he wasn't wearing it today the teacher ( in front of whole class) that his parents couldn't afford one lol. The school phoned my mum offering details of financial support to help with uniform

Both mum and stepdad worked full time in managerial jobs

Right now I'm thinking - poor woman ☹️.

Well yes, it does look bad on your mother if you had to borrow dinner money.Yabu

@Brittno

she thought the fact I went to school minus dinner money would reflect negatively on the home

Oh I see. She sounds like she worries a lot about what other people think about her. It's a bit of a leap to identify her as a narcissist though. Unless there were lots of other similar incidents.

Unless there was A LOT of other shit happening this comment means nothing.

Also "narc" to mean narcissistic is massively over used. This does not indicate narcissistic personality traits in any shape or form.

Occasionally if we’d run out of ham my Mum sent me to school with jam sandwiches.

we had to show the school secretary our packed lunch every morning, and I was under strict instructions to not let her see that they were jam because of what they would think.

totally normal

Unless there's a massive drip feed - would have to be more like a flood - this one comment means nothing.
I assume that, for some reason, you want to be able to call your mother "a narc" (stupid term - means nothing) and I also assume you'll keep raising the game until people agree.

When you were 12. Threads on here are crazy sometimes

I would probably delete and start again and few people will understand due to your typo. And your post makes it sound like she used the city Leicester, even though you didn't live in Leicester, which would add to the confusion.

Regardless, from what I can deduce, it just sounds like a slightly sarcastic/funny comment, playing on the juxtaposition between you living in a nice home in a nice area, and you going to school without dinner money, even though it was because you forgot it rather than your parents couldn't afford it.

I would have reckoned she had a quirky sense of humour, tbh!