To think this is worrying to hear from a mother?

[Brittno]

When I was 12 I had forgotten my dinner money and the secretary’s office in school used to lend money out.

I told my mother the evening after school that I’d forgotten my dinner money and had to borrow from the secretary and she replied, dramatically, without giving me eye contact :

“what will they think if the home, the best home in Leicester? “

We didn’t live in Leicester but a similar sized city

does it sound as though she’s a bit narc? She said it in a bitter tone of voice

OP, are you a parent?

Sounds like a quote to me.

On its own, this is absolutely nothing, OP. Your mum felt a bit embarrassed that you forgetting your lunch money reflected badly on her. I'm sure lots of us have had similar passing thoughts. It's nothing to do with being "a bit narc" whatever you mean by that.

Have you further anecdotes OP or is that it? If that’s it…… rejoice!

Sounds like she was quoting from a play or book or something!

Absolutely this. My Mum loved reading and amateur dramatics and would sometimes throw in a quote or line which came to mind during conversations!

If you want to prove your mother was a narcissist, you’re going to have to come up with a lot more than ‘she was mortified that I had to borrow dinner money one day when I was 12’.

OP in the nicest possible way, get over it.

I think if you’re twelve and a half then it’s really high time you got over this. If you’re any older, then I would think there is something wrong with you.

No, it's not worrying, not in the slightest. I feel for your DM if you think this comment makes her a narcissist.

From Google Search AI answer:

The phrase is an incomplete sentence from the poem "The Best Home of All" by Phoebe Cary, which asks, "What will they think if the home, the best home in all the land, is but a tent, a temporary stand?". The poem uses this rhetorical question to suggest that while outward appearances might not be perfect, the emotional bonds within the home are what truly matter. The question prompts reflection on how we define "home" and what is truly valuable.
The complete quote:
The original line is part of a longer poem and is used rhetorically to make a point about the true nature of a home.
Poem's meaning:
The poem contrasts the outward appearance of a home with the love and connection within it, suggesting that the latter is more important.
Poetic device:
The phrase uses a question to prompt the reader to consider what truly makes a home "the best" and to look beyond superficial or temporary things.

Note that it is if not of so not a typo. I'm doubting this is real now.

Complete narc, block go NC, never see or speak to her again. In fact, report to police. Toxic woman

This is the biggest non issue I’ve ever seen, and you trying to diagnose a whole personality disorder based off of one comment is, frankly, wild.

People use narc/narcissist to describe everyone they don't get on with.

No, from the example you posted she doesn't sound narcissistic.

There is a poster who has started multiple threads with weird non events like this asking if they were abusive
i wonder if it's the same poster

I imagine this is the OP who regularly posts non-issues from her childhood to try and diagnose her mum with a personality disorder.

OP if your problem is that you think you are in some way carrying emotional damage from your childhood then AIBU may not be the best place for you to post. Possibly relationships may be more suitable, but you need to reframe it and put the issue into context alongside other examples where you feel you’ve been affected.

I think you’re the one with the wrong end of the stick. It was a comment about where I’ve noticed over the years people to also get something wrong. I’m not upset. I’m also not reading it.

That’s a huge leap from what OP posted. You could be right but equally it could be a joke and probably is a quote from the poem. (what will the neighbours think ! said sarcastically). When people make such huge assumptions it can encourage a lot of negativity if OP is seriously looking for opinions.

I remember being slightly annoyed when a teacher took me to one side when four of mine were in the same Primary and told me that they had a sale of secondhand coats on the next week if I was interested.

I could afford coats and my kids had coats, they just wouldn't wear them!

I am not a narc.

I actually think this is quite common of a certain generation. My mother and grandmother both very obsessed with what other people thought of them. I was constantly hearing “what will xxxx think?” Neither did it in a snobbish, Hyacinth Bucket way, just in a very matter-of-fact way. So no, I wouldn’t at all think that your mother was a narcissist based on that one comment.

I think you have misunderstood. You seemed to get somewhat agitated by the DM. Don't read it if it doesn't suit you.

My mother (born 1925) was a bit like that but it was because she'd grown up on the brink of poverty and it was important to keep on the right line of 'respectability' - a narrow line to tread. I think that kind of background is more relevant than her age.

This reminds me of a friend who was always making up stories about his own poverty in childhood to tease his DS.
DS knew it wasn't true but used to listen, enjoyably shocked, to things like:

We were so poor we didn't have bedclothes and had to sleep under coats.
My mother told us not to call them coats but to say "eiderdown".
When the vicar came round I was in bed and called down to my mother "Mum! The...err...eiderdown's come off the bed"
She just told me to put it back.
I tried but next I had to call down "Mum! The sleeve's come off the eiderdown!".

Think Max Boyce did a version too.

So did Billy Connolly.

To be fair I likely forgot