Things that look good in the movies but are probably shit IRL…

[Arlanymor]

I used to be SO envious of Catherine Zeta Jones’ bedroom in Splitting Heirs (remember that film?! It was awful, a failed attempt at farce). She had a narrow swimming pool that went around her bedroom and I used to think: “Wow - it would be so amazing to have a swim first thing in the morning and set yourself up for the day.” In reality, I bed the bedroom stunk of chlorine, it was probably a never-ending journey to keep heated and you’d probably only use it for a week and then get bored of the novelty… what else looks good in the movies but in reality probably just sucks?

London.
Every scene will have a major landmark in the background.
If travelling, the journey must be a montage of all the tourist sites, combined with a red bus or black cab.
No one ever gets wedged face first into the doors of a packed tube carriage while being eyed/felt up by a creepy stranger, or has to navigate past tourists who can’t tap on or off to enter/exit.
All residential streets will be in Notting Hill, without exception.
All Londoners have their day soundtracked at all times to London Calling by The Clash, obviously.

Ooh! I love reading in the bath! I’ve done it all my life since teens. I have had to replace favourite books several times as they get curly pages from the water.
My favourite remedy for anything at all ( shitty day, aches and pains, illness like colds, feeling down, need to unwind etc ) is to have a good soak with a new magazine. I probably read them more in water than out of water!😁

I had a perm in 1982… trying to get the knots out of that with a Afro comb brought genuine tears to the eyes. The sheer size of my permed hair meant no hat would ever get near it… however the boyfriend suggested I wore his mothers headscarf!!
Loved that little red car!

Also, in my case, I'm 5'9, so wearing most men's shirts would still leave me flashing every other step.

Literally my life! (Not the film version!)

I always used to want one of those hot dogs they sell in New York City, they always featured in 80's films and they looked so good.
But in reality the relish would be slopped all down your front and you'd end up with sticky hand while looking for a bin.

London, Paris, New York.

I had it with one from Boots- all my toiletries fell out the bottom!

Being an antiques dealer. The movie image is of sitting about in a nice little shop and going to posh auction houses with neat rows of matching chairs and a paddle with your bidding number on it while the eagle-eyed auctioneer takes your bid from just a twitch of your eyebrow, uncovering fabulous things in surprisingly clean and tidy barns or aesthetically cobwebbed lofts.
The reality is dealing with idiot/CF online buyers, auction rooms that are cold, drafty, and you perch on any available piece of furniture, sometimes finding yourself sitting for hours on an uncomfortable dining chair with a dicky leg and flapping your catalogue like a loon to get the auctioneers attention, digging through filthy boxes of house clearance stuff at the car boot and hoping there no broken glass in there.

Police officers/FBI agents etc kicking doors in. I’m sure they’d do themselves an injury if they tried it in real life on a real door. At least in The Bill they had a special tool for the purpose.

A Bobby I know has a "big yellow key" !

Convertibles are fun only if I am the one driving.
A chance meeting with an under cover spy and ending up careering across the country, falling in love. Getting shot at whilst he saves you again! What a hero.

Reality would be some creepy bloke insisting he is sas and mi5, not taking no for an answer, having to call the police because he wants to go into hiding with you. The police drag him away.

Or owning a st Bernard

Moving to a quaint village as an older, single woman.
Straight away a dashing builder/plumber/postman/pub landlord appears and, guess what, he's both a handsome silver fox & he's single!

Next thing you know, said single lady & silver fox are together & living the perfect life in her chocolate box cottage while enjoying a busy social life with all the "interesting characters" who also live in the lovely village.

The reality I imagine is very different...

😂 that would scare any intruder!! I might get one 😂

I disagree with some of these.
Love Actually has the scene of "Wandsworth - the dodgy end", which certainly was not in Notting Hill: actually Poplar Road in Herne Hill.
In the film of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Arthur Weasley struggles with the ticket gates.

But I do agree that landmarks are often in the wrong places. In Spiceworld the Movie, the Spice Girls dash across London to get to the Albert Hall, with all the famous places in the wrong order.

Sex in the shower. I mean seriously,have you ever actually tried it? You need to be a bloody contortionist! Yet they make it look so easy!

To be honest, I would really love to have a swimming pool wrapped around my bedroom. Yes, I would!

Bridget Jones somehow has a flat in the heart of London, with her lowly job of fannying around with press releases.

However, in two nods to reality, she notes that being in a convertible is not so much fun when she loses her scarf; and just before she runs into the snow to pursue Mark, she puts trainers on, instead of heels or bare feet that "running in the snow" scenes often involve.

Yeah, that's a strange film and TV thing, particularly if American. People with no money whatsoever live in really nice places that in reality they could never afford. It always puzzled me how, in the Big Bang Theory, an out of work actress can afford the apartment on her own. I mean, I know apartments are cheaper over there, but still...

Penny, at least in the early days, almost certainly earned more than they did as low grade academics, thanks to tips etc. Waiting on is a career choice in the US that is very lucrative if you do it right, rather than how it is seen in the UK.

Also, Penny had a small one bed V their large 2 bed so her rent was lower.

You could avoid the tiles issue by both facing the same way.....but still likely to be underwhelming.
May I add, sex on a beach, or anywhere that sand might be involved?

Similarly, anything involving standing under a waterfall (heavy, cold, sandblasting water) in a forest glade?

Lovely villages full of interesting characters are also popular settings for murder mysteries.... :-)

On a smaller scale, Andy runs around the Natural History Museum on a very peculiar route to urgently reach the clock in the 'Dinosaur Adventures'!

It annoys me that supposedly heavy drinkers get pissed after a couple of glasses of (usually red) wine. An example of this is Mel Gibson in What Women Want, it really annoys me that he is pissed enough or try wearing tights after half a bottle of wine.

A baby is born three minutes after your waters break in dramatic fashion and always unexpectedly.