Page 9 | Things that look good in the movies but are probably shit IRL…

Arlanymor · 2025-10-12T17:49:07+00:00

I used to be SO envious of Catherine Zeta Jones’ bedroom in Splitting Heirs (remember that film?! It was awful, a failed attempt at farce). She had a narrow swimming pool that went around her bedroom and I used to think: “Wow - it would be so amazing to have a swim first thing in the morning and set yourself up for the day.” In reality, I bed the bedroom stunk of chlorine, it was probably a never-ending journey to keep heated and you’d probably only use it for a week and then get bored of the novelty… what else looks good in the movies but in reality probably just sucks?

BlueEyedBogWitch · 13/10/2025 20:41

Tomomomatoes · 13/10/2025 17:25

Horse ownership.
Films: running barefoot in an impractical frock through summery meadows, the horse whinnies and trots over, you gymnastically jump on his back and gallop off, jumping a hedge or two.
You fall off dramatically in front of the romantic lead resulting in a minor injury like a twisted ankle, mud smudged appealingly on one cheek, and a leaf in your otherwise perfect hairdo (no helmet obvs) and he pops you up on his horse and carefully brings you home where he'll tend to your ankle whilst looking up at you romantically from under his long handsome eyelashes.

Reality: you spend hours in the wind, cold, rain, wading through muddy paddocks, carrying wet mucky rugs, wheelbarrowing poo from stables to muck heaps, half of it getting blown back in your face so that you have a constant aroma of poop, every item of clothing you own smells distinctly of stables, and you wear a uniform of worn out wellies/jods with stains and holes in them and can't afford new ones because you spent all your money on horse food/ potions/ vet bills.
On the odd occasion you actually have time to ride the thing you chase it round the paddock for half an hour to catch it, scrape off as much mud as you can, drag yourself onboard using a stepladder, and head out into the lashing rain. The horse gets such a fright from an unusual looking rock or twig that it dumps you in the nearest ditch with a broken elbow/ coated in mud and runs off. You then have to chase it, flagging down the next land rover to come past, you find it occupied by a 70 year old farmer with no teeth and baler twine for a belt, three unfriendly collies and a sheep. He gives you a funny look because he thinks you smell disgusting and when he drops you off he suggests you get a more sensible horse so you don't have to ask for lifts again.

Meanwhile the horse has returned to the stables, got into the feed room, pulled everything off the shelves and eaten all the most expensive food and is now looking at you like he might be ill in quite an expensive way. You spend the next four hours with the on call vet, sorting his colic and making up a lush bed for him, and tidying the feed room. You get home at 1am and debate whether you have the energy to go for an x ray or even shower. You vet wrap your now horribly swollen elbow, collapse on the bed and resolve to sort out the mucky sheets in the morning.
You get up at 5am to start the whole thing again 🤣

I know, but sometimes this happens 🥰

(I bought an upduffed mare by mistake and now I have a beloved horse grandson).

Things that look good in the movies but are probably shit IRL…

hillsidewoodsideNC · 13/10/2025 21:04

I'm not surprised so many people have said shower sex...

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Arlanymor · 13/10/2025 21:05

5hell · 13/10/2025 12:49

Someone should make a spoof movie, where:

no-one gets a parking space
the weather is awful, or at best drab
the sex is awkward / average / results in injury
Christmas starts in august and everyone is stressed / making-do
everyone wears normal clothes (not glamourous coast, hats, scarves, boots etc)
the DIY takes forever, and you run out of money (no 'cute' paint on nose allowed)
people actually finish their drinks, meals & phone-conversations!

I'm not 100% what the plot would be however 😆

Oh I totally agree - what a fab idea! It could be called IRL!

OP posts:

PyongyangKipperbang · 14/10/2025 00:17

Arlanymor · 13/10/2025 21:05

Oh I totally agree - what a fab idea! It could be called IRL!

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I have almost no money or time but....

(Can that be a scene? The pissed off single mother who is also a carer to her parents saying no again to a night out because she a) cant afford it b) if she can afford it she cant find someone to cover her caring duties c) if she can afford it and can find cover, her teenager needs a lift back from a "really important" party that night or d) all of the above is sorted but when it comes right down to it......she simply cannot be arsed.)

..... if and when I ever do finally win the lottery I will cheerfully fund this film as long as I get the first credit as Excecutive Producer!

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Arlanymor · 14/10/2025 00:39

PyongyangKipperbang · 14/10/2025 00:17

I have almost no money or time but....

(Can that be a scene? The pissed off single mother who is also a carer to her parents saying no again to a night out because she a) cant afford it b) if she can afford it she cant find someone to cover her caring duties c) if she can afford it and can find cover, her teenager needs a lift back from a "really important" party that night or d) all of the above is sorted but when it comes right down to it......she simply cannot be arsed.)

..... if and when I ever do finally win the lottery I will cheerfully fund this film as long as I get the first credit as Excecutive Producer!

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Oh I love this and OF COURSE you can!

OP posts:

PyongyangKipperbang · 14/10/2025 00:42

Arlanymor · 14/10/2025 00:39

Oh I love this and OF COURSE you can!

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Thank you!

As long as this thread is also in there. I am thinking montage scene of women all sitting in there scaggies with laptops and phones, Dorito dust covered decollatage, as they type their responses!

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Arlanymor · 14/10/2025 00:54

PyongyangKipperbang · 14/10/2025 00:42

Thank you!

As long as this thread is also in there. I am thinking montage scene of women all sitting in there scaggies with laptops and phones, Dorito dust covered decollatage, as they type their responses!

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No worries! And I can see it - messy buns, sliders and faces lit up with blue light!

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Cherryicecreamx · 14/10/2025 01:19

These overly passionate scenes.. I don't think I've ever been THAT into someone. Seems a bit OTT and I'm sure it would look a bit fake (and definitely too try hard) if I tried to recreate any of it 😂

And the classic bumping into someone that in the movies it's almost romantic but in real life it's a pain in the arse 😆

JudgeJ · 15/10/2025 00:20

MaidOfSteel · 13/10/2025 12:29

I agree. I was almost late for my own wedding because of Southern California traffic jams!

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Reminds me of our first trip to the States years ago, we parked to go somewhere on a Mall and then we were discussing walking to the other side of the Mall to another shop. The woman behind the till was amazed that we were going to walk across the parking lot rather than take the car across.

JudgeJ · 15/10/2025 00:26

ChocolateCinderToffee · 13/10/2025 12:58

Darling! Hermès scarf and big sunglasses, PLEASE!

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But not a lovely trailing scarf, remember Isadora! I wonder if that really happened?

KimberleyClark · 15/10/2025 02:26

Hatty65 · 12/10/2025 19:01

Sex in a bubble bath with candles and champagne. Looks romantic.

In reality, lukewarm water sloshing everywhere, not enough room, uncomfortable and unsatisfying. You end up slipping on the enamel and cracking your chin on the side of the bath. Taps digging in. Etc.

Could end up with a nasty infection as well.

Icebreakhell · 15/10/2025 06:47

When they go shopping or visit a Christmas market in Christmas films everyone is wandering serenely with packages ALREADY BEAUTIFULLY WRAPPED! Where are the plastic bags?

HandmadeNanna · 15/10/2025 07:25

Butteredtoast55 · 12/10/2025 19:03

I know for a fact that driving in an open top car is a pain in the arse.

We have an open top car. No problems at all. Weather good, hats on, top down. Weather bad, top up.

JudgeJ · 15/10/2025 13:07

RobustPastry · 13/10/2025 09:16

Following on from the parking one which is a great point the ability in movies and TV for people to commit crimes or murders in the street with absolutely no one passing by or seeing it out the window. It ruins every spy show I watch it’s just so unrealistic.

Like how there’s always a change of clothes the next day when they didn’t arrive with any luggage. I would love to have this superpower IRL.

It seems that in every murder programme the 'baddies' fire wildly for ages when the 'goodie' takes a couple of shots and wipes them out!
People have a normal sized suitcase but have a multitude of outfits, including coats and shoes, I can usually manage one pair of spare shoes in a suitcase and I wear the biggest items!

Biskieboo · 15/10/2025 13:25

Cantabulous · 13/10/2025 13:28

Nightclubs not being full of ugly people, vomit and creeps. Or not being depressingly empty.

On the subject of nightclubs: having any sort of meaningful conversation in one. In films somebody will stand on the other side of a table from somebody sitting down, and they will have an earnest conversation in normal voices where not a single word is missed. My experience of reality is:

(Somebody shouting in my ear): WWNNHHY PFFIE AVVUHN ABBLMT YEAH?
Me: WHAT?
WNNHY IMMJD AVVUHN ABBLMTTSH?
Me: WHAT? CAN'T HEAR YOU
SEDWHNNY ABBGGRED TENWABBLM
Me: NAH SORRY CAN'T HEAR YOU (waves hand near ear and shakes head).

BitOutOfPractice · 15/10/2025 13:26

Parking. They always park right outside wherever it is they are going.

Sex against the wall.

KimberleyClark · 15/10/2025 14:31

People having conversations on planes in normal conversational tones. IRL there is too much ambient noise to do this. You need to raise your voice even to chat to the person next to you.

RobustPastry · 15/10/2025 21:35

How in thrillers people can just eavesdrop in public places unobserved just by standing behind a pillar peering round it or whatever.
IRL you would get hauled out immediately by security for looking very obviously dodgy!

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/10/2025 21:43

RobustPastry · 15/10/2025 21:35

How in thrillers people can just eavesdrop in public places unobserved just by standing behind a pillar peering round it or whatever.
IRL you would get hauled out immediately by security for looking very obviously dodgy!

Or yelled at "OI!!! YOU HAD YOUR BLEEDIN' EARFUL YET?"

scalt · 16/10/2025 07:50

If you want more of these, search for "Rule of perception" on the website TV Tropes.

It's always funny when a film actually does point out the absurdity of these. For example, in Bridget Jones's Diary, she gets into an open-top car with Daniel, like Grace Kelly, but then loses her scarf, and says "though ever so slightly less elegant under pressure".

My other favourite one is when a doorbell rings neatly after somebody finishes a sentence, normally talking about the caller. There's one episode of Vicar of Dibley where this happens several times.

thatsgotit · 16/10/2025 11:51

More of a TV trope, this, but: shouting 'You can stick your rotten job!' at your boss, then turning on your heel and flouncing off, probably without another job to go to. (Tbf I once came very close to doing this in a particularly grim job, but managed to control myself, just.)

Oh, and one the soaps use constantly: saying 'flaming' as a substitute for the F word. I don't think I've ever heard anyone say 'flaming' outside of TV land!

LoyalMember · 16/10/2025 14:10

Mobiles phones in movies look so easy to use. People just lift them up and snap a picture in one smooth movement instead of fumbling about putting in the password, finding the camera App, then sizing up the image ready to take the picture.

thecatfromneptune · 16/10/2025 16:39

LoyalMember · 16/10/2025 14:10

Mobiles phones in movies look so easy to use. People just lift them up and snap a picture in one smooth movement instead of fumbling about putting in the password, finding the camera App, then sizing up the image ready to take the picture.

Yes - nobody ever has to do two-factor authentication. “Hang on a min while I wait for the text with the code so I can log in to this secret government site” 🤣

MakeOrBake · 16/10/2025 23:56

Hair and make up always being perfect. Women, if course. Men are often allowed to look more like people actually do in real life.

I still think of Mare of Easttown and how refreshing it was to see Kate Winslet allowed to look a bit shit after working all the hours with barely any sleep.

And getting dressed after swimming. Nobody ever seems to struggle putting clothes on over hot, damp or salty skin - bras don't go wonky and the skinniest of jeans just slide on.

GrowlingAndHowling · 17/10/2025 06:19

thecatfromneptune · 16/10/2025 16:39

Yes - nobody ever has to do two-factor authentication. “Hang on a min while I wait for the text with the code so I can log in to this secret government site” 🤣

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Oh yes, this!! And nobody has to try and get a signal either!