Things that look good in the movies but are probably shit IRL…

[Arlanymor]

I used to be SO envious of Catherine Zeta Jones’ bedroom in Splitting Heirs (remember that film?! It was awful, a failed attempt at farce). She had a narrow swimming pool that went around her bedroom and I used to think: “Wow - it would be so amazing to have a swim first thing in the morning and set yourself up for the day.” In reality, I bed the bedroom stunk of chlorine, it was probably a never-ending journey to keep heated and you’d probably only use it for a week and then get bored of the novelty… what else looks good in the movies but in reality probably just sucks?

Children asleep in bed looking like little angels with one teddy bear.

In reality the child has insisted on wearing a cycling helmet and roller skates to bed, their arm is tucked around a potato they have put googly eyes on, their mouth is open and dribbling.

OK that may be a slight exaggeration.

Tbf, I was thinking more of UK TV dramas.

One night stands with strangers

In films, look fun and spontaneous

IRL, probably the girl's actually hoping for a relationship, risk of STI, risk of pregnancy, huge safety risk and feels sleazy

Drinking and driving- no matter how pissed they are, they are totally sober enough to drive home
airports - how the fuck do you get to the gate to stop someone or just miss them, without buying a ticket and going through security?
give me a call - but no one ever gives their number out
pick me up at 8 - where from, what’s the dress code?
rooms always being lit during the night, am I the only person who sleeps in the dark?

Movies and TV programmes set in bygone eras, and the characters have perfect teeth, eyebrows, lashes, and nails. Ermm, I don't think so. I first noticed this when I was about 11 and the original version of Roots was on BBC TV. 18th century Africans, Americans, and Europeans with fillings, pearly white veneers, and plucked eyebrows..

Oh, you beat me to it!

DH is great at DIY but he often finds it stressful and there is lots of muttering and grumbling, so unless I'm needed to pass him spanners I keep well away.

I'm good at painting but somehow manage to get it all over me and in my hair.

Wallpapering is a joint effort and I just have to zone out for the duration.

And yes, the bickering - did you buy sandpaper? No? What, we have to go back again, aarggh!! This wallpaper or that? Neither! Well, you choose. Oh, I'm too tired to choose. This one then. No.

Is it ‘reasonable’ to charge for this on top of all the additional costs…

Los Angeles.

You do not have my hair. There is not a clip invented that could cope with my hair at liberty in a convertible. I'd need this.

I have to admit that I have always wanted a convertible so I can wear a headscarf and sunglasses 50's style!

But I am so nesh it would be completely wasted on me for about 360 days of the year!

And I need one of these.....see the "nesh" comment above!

Any scenario where toilet arrangements haven’t been considered. Access to facilities would be my first priority.

Just thought about getting up in the middle of the night wearing a brilliant white shirt and starting to throw a pot, partner gets up comes and ruins your erection with his fiddling. You smile and twine your clay covered hand with his and finish up moving all round the room and yet neither of you has a spot of clay on your beautiful, clean body! When I used a potter's wheel I only had to look at it to get clay slip solution on my scruffy old clothes.

Men

😂😂😂

Also, where were the 100 candles beforehand?

I always notice their impeccably tidy sparsely furnished home interiors. Even where families live there. No piles of unsorted crap looking for a home, toys, clean laundry in piles, washing up in the sink. Yeah right, set designers

And character's houses are usually way too nice for their job and get updated too often/too quickly e.g in UK soaps/mini series

Squirty cream and sex. It goes unbelievably rancid and smelly surprisingly quickly. A definite mood killer.

@silkypyjamas We once had a power cut when i was away from home. DH took it into his head that "the power had been cut" and there was an intruder downstairs. He phoned me, so I was on the line whilst he whispered a commentary to me as he sneaked downstairs to investigate.

He was armed with a toilet brush from the ensuite.
He also had a torch. A novelty torch belonging to the kids. It was shaped like a cockerel and when you pressed the tail its beak opened and the light shone out of its mouth. Bloody anoying thing .
Problem was that it also kept shouting "Cock a doodle dooooooo" whilst he was being stealthy.

He was clearly quite panicked , I could tell by his breathing.
And all I could do was piss my self silently every time the cock crowed!

Sex anywhere work related- ew to no shower and then going back into a communal office!

reading in a bubble bath- have tried so many times, just irritating!

Sex on a beach! In the crashing surf. Gritty and weird and everyone can actually see you from the hotel.

Absolutely no one in Scotland or Ireland drinks whisky on the rocks. It’s considered sacrilege.

Tho thread reminds me why my all time favorite tv show is “The Middle” as it’s the one and only American sitcom that I can think of that depicts a normal family, warts and all, messy house, clutter everywhere and the opposite of the picture perfectly white picket fence image normally portrayed, it’s also funny as hell!

In the movies when a woman has sex at the mans house for the first time. The next morning she must put on one of his shirts...usually a crisp white one, nothing on underneath, sleeves rolled up and she must playfully strut around the kitchen "making herself at home". Legs are tanned and she looks gorgeous.

The reality....where am I? I've got to go. Oh god I've got to put the same clothes on from yesterday....cue the walk of shame home. Grim.