Things that look good in the movies but are probably shit IRL…

[Arlanymor]

I used to be SO envious of Catherine Zeta Jones’ bedroom in Splitting Heirs (remember that film?! It was awful, a failed attempt at farce). She had a narrow swimming pool that went around her bedroom and I used to think: “Wow - it would be so amazing to have a swim first thing in the morning and set yourself up for the day.” In reality, I bed the bedroom stunk of chlorine, it was probably a never-ending journey to keep heated and you’d probably only use it for a week and then get bored of the novelty… what else looks good in the movies but in reality probably just sucks?

Group stuff..... Wrong movies?!?

Thank you for this thread, it's genius.

Not sure if this counts because my contention is that this NEVER happens in real life... but that thing where you get a couple who start dancing together alone in their own house (or on their own private beach, with obligatory fire pit and two Adirondack chairs). She has to be wearing an off the shoulder beige jumper, light blue jeans with turn-ups, and bare feet. He has to spin her round and she leans back, throwing her head back and laughing.

My daughter and I like to try to replicate this dance for a laugh, where we try to bend backwards as far as possible (like limbo dancing) whilst cackling maniacally. Now that actually is good fun.

My wife and I never understand how in the movies , nobody ever needs to go for a wee or needs to stop for a cuppa ?!

Not to mention, can't find matching gloves never mind gloves hat and scarf. Wellies don't fit now and ones that do are full of spiders.

In films you always get to park outside exactly where you are going. No multi storey a mile away for them!

Now this is a grandchild I would be happy to see endless pictures of as he grows up 💕

Sex with zero foreplay. Never seen an actual realistic sex scene portrayed on TV or film.

If the general public didn’t bother with contraception the way that they don’t bother in films, they’d be riddled with STIs and endlessly pregnant.

On the other hand people in films are always very hale and hearty, they don’t ever seem to have long term illnesses. They are not ND. they don’t have mental or physical disabilities. They don’t have a tricky menopause or get injured in an accident or anything normal like that that human beings get unless it’s a direct part of furthering the plot. I don’t think the writing of people without visualising and including the key elements of reality of having a human body is really good writing. there are some honourable exceptions of course.

You’ve been looking at my insta haven’t you

🤣🤣🤣

#wakemeupinjanuary

Or locks their car ?

Yes to the swallowing tablets dry, why did anyone think this can be done and why would anyone want to?

They drive along looking at the passenger .
If they are on a busy main road , it goes on for unreasonable periods of time (watch the bloody road !)

Or if they're driving through the middle of nowhere , long straight road , nothing on the horizon, ...Oooof they hit a deer/drunk /vampire (insert casualty of choice ) that appeared from nowhere ,

I swallow Ibuprofen dry but I couldn’t do that with anything that wasn’t coated.

No one ever runs out of phone battery or carries a power bank, or has issues with having the correct currency. Or gets lost and needs Google maps.

Someone beat me to it - driving in a convertible. Don't get me wrong, its so much fun. But its fiddly. Anything over 40 and you need some kind of headscarf. 🤣

This! As well as sex on a beach… sand, crevices etc? Thanks, but no thanks.

A fridge with inbuilt ice maker! Cleaning it is a pain.

...and absolutely NOOOO WiFi issues...every laptop starts up straight away with no lag for sodding updates !

...or ALL the lights on in every room which they don't switch off before going out . Or , scarey movies , no one has the sense to switch the lights ON ?!

Zombie or apocalypse films when people are without washing, run out of contact lenses etc and are pristine - save a smudge of kohl on the cheekbone. I’d be blind and dead with bad hair in about 3 days.

My DH and 3 dc can do this. One tween, 2 teens. Any kind of pill just goes down easy. Baffles me.

But this summer after the 3rd child started doing it I decided I had to at least try it. And much to my surprise I can do it too - it's def not as hard as you'd imagine!

Wouldn't try large pills and try to avoid uncoated paracetamol just because it tastes horrible. But it's not as hard as I expected - and easier than when you take too big a swig of water and have that minor start panic about the pill not going down.

And pushing while screaming at the top of your voice, my recollection is you had to hold your breath to bear down to push - no breath for screaming

When people go for a romantic walk and come back to a cosy cottage lit entirely by hundreds of candles. Who lit the candles? Why is nobody worried about the fire risk?

My son moved on his own to Barcelona for several years. He quickly made friends, adored the city, and had the time of his life. Learned passable Spanish while he was there. Then he moved on to work in Sweden and loves that too. Come to think of it, I did much the same thing in my twenties, moving to Finland, all by myself, for two years and - you've guessed it - having what was one of the happiest times of my life as well! But you have to be outgoing, have to like people, and have to be working, I think.

When a character is having a baby in a hospital & the father rushes to get there in time for the birth he can just drive up, park right outside & dash in. No trying to find a space, no trying to work out how to pay the (extortionate) parking charge...

See also driving a labouring woman to hospital to give birth - same ease of parking right outside with the ambulances.
When we went 20+ years ago, I was dropped outside in full labour to struggle in alone while exH drove round desperately trying to find a space...

A lot of US hospitals have very reasonably priced valet parking for emergencies involving childbirth, or bringing very ill patients to the hospital.