Page 6 | Strip Club

Wrenjay · 12/10/2025 15:24

MahoganyGrain · 12/10/2025 12:57

It’s his own personal credit card so his spending doesn’t impact on family bills, etc. in theory it’s his money to do what he likes with (within reason, he knows i wouldn’t be happy for him to spend it on strippers!)

I will also add, our relationship has not been good for a while, mainly because we argue a lot about sex (he wants it a lot more than me). He gets really angry and shouts and says horrible things when he is stressed, but recognises this is an issue. He thinks I am in perimenopause and that is affecting how I treat him.

We have been to counselling which didn’t really help much, but I’ve never had any reason not to trust him.

It’s the other way around. He has massive paranoia/ jealousy about me going out without him. To the point that he checks my location frequently while I’m out and when I come home he always questions whether I’ve been speaking to any men and searches social media photos to look for “proof” I am lying to him when I say no.
He also regularly accuses me of flirting with any men i do speak to when he’s there, including his friends, my brother in law, the delivery guy, etc. If I deny any flirting and say I’m being friendly, he says I must do it without realising.

He is cheating: Cheaters use the ploy of accusing their innocent partners to avoid being caught.

Missey85 · 12/10/2025 15:27

Don't be naive of course he joined them nobody Goes to a strip club just for drinks 🙁

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 12/10/2025 15:29

TalkToTheHand123 · 12/10/2025 14:57

Oh come on girls, stop being so prudish. I loved being a personal dancer. Easy money and sent husbands home to their wives relaxed, albeit a few ££s lighter.

It’s not prudish to expect your husband to be faithful.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 12/10/2025 15:29

NoBinturongsHereMate · 12/10/2025 14:51

Ah, so he's not just a lying, cheating, gaslighting, misogynist.

He's a lying cheating gaslighting, controlling, sexually harassing, jealous, verbally abusive, aggressive misogynist.

Call M&S, they'll want him for their Xmas campaign.

Or alternatively bin both the couples counselling and him, and make a new and better life for yourself.

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I couldn’t agree more. He’s are horrible person @MahoganyGrain and you are not stuck in this shitty life - or at least, you don’t have to be.

FunMustard · 12/10/2025 15:29

Is it 1965? Taking clients to a strip club - pull the other one, it's got bells on.

He also regularly accuses me of flirting with any men i do speak to when he’s there, including his friends, my brother in law, the delivery guy, etc. If I deny any flirting and say I’m being friendly, he says I must do it without realising.

Of course he does. 'Twas ever thus.

JillyGiraffe · 12/10/2025 15:33

He had a choice whether to go or not, and he chose to go. He also chose to spend over £1000 but you’ll never know what that went towards. He then kept it from you.

DiscoBob · 12/10/2025 15:33

Well if you do believe him then you should be furious he's spending his own money on entertaining clients with hookers. Surely it should be his company that pays?

I'm joking of course. It's not OK and it was definitely for him.

If it's any consolation if he only spent £100 he probably didn't get that much action?! Honestly he's taking you for a mug. It's interesting you say you are inclined to believe him though. Because obviously none of us do.

ERthree · 12/10/2025 15:35

MAHOGANY, you deserve so much better than this. You know he is a cheat, a liar and a controlling abusive man.

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 12/10/2025 15:35

I think you will find that most large companies don't allow visits to strip clubs on expenses these days as there's too much risk of litigation. When I worked in the City 15 years ago it was banned.

I wouldn't believe him I don't think. It's a bit of a tall story.

SL2924 · 12/10/2025 15:37

I think it’s quite common for people who cheat to be paranoid and untrusting of their partners. Because they project their own behaviour onto you. It doesn’t look good, OP. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was unfaithful and I certainly don’t think it’s his first time in the strip club.

I don’t know what I’d do in your situation. To me he sounds absolutely awful. You can’t trust him but he seems to easily be able to manipulate you and this is just a recipe for disaster.

Shellyash · 12/10/2025 15:46

Sounds a good guy. I'd trust him but tell him you are going to a knitting club tonight with Betty your best friend but you'll be leaving your phone at home.

TranceNation · 12/10/2025 15:52

1000 quid is ridiculous money to chuck at a strip club. I'd be absolutely fuming.

NoBinturongsHereMate · 12/10/2025 15:52

DiscoBob · 12/10/2025 15:33

Well if you do believe him then you should be furious he's spending his own money on entertaining clients with hookers. Surely it should be his company that pays?

I'm joking of course. It's not OK and it was definitely for him.

If it's any consolation if he only spent £100 he probably didn't get that much action?! Honestly he's taking you for a mug. It's interesting you say you are inclined to believe him though. Because obviously none of us do.

You're missing a zero. It was £1,000.

Heartyredbeaker56 · 12/10/2025 15:52

Yeah he is accussing you of what he has been doing, probably over many years. To spend over £1000 in a strip club, it is very likely not his first time. Just his first time getting caught. Sorry you are going through this.

shhblackbag · 12/10/2025 15:53

MahoganyGrain · 12/10/2025 11:19

Oh god I absolutely do not want this to be public knowledge, hence posting anonymously on here for advice rather than speaking to people in real life!
Now I’m panicking… I do not give any permission for any seedy newspapers to repost this in any way.

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I mean, the newspapers won't care that you don't want this published. Perhaps plead your case to MN, forgetting that you posted publicly on the Internet and your posts are content.

YABU about your husband, too. Cop on.

PoppyFleur · 12/10/2025 15:54

CautiousLurker01 · 12/10/2025 14:12

Yes it’s lies. There is no corporation in the UK that will reimburse/expense visits to strip clubs. Even when I worked on the trading floor in an investment back 20 years ago this would not have happened. HMRC doesn’t (I believe) allow client entertainment of any sort to be offset against revenue now, so most businesses place strict limits on what you can spend. I cannot anticipate a £1000 ‘bar’ bill would be allowed.

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Sadly it did go on, however it wasn’t reimbursed through expenses, instead petty cash amounts were authorised for use. It was a truly disgusting practice but it was not uncommon in 2002 in the city.

I had a few male colleagues who were completely horrified by what was expected but knew they wouldn’t climb the corporate ladder unless they entertained certain clients in that manner.

DiscoBob · 12/10/2025 15:55

NoBinturongsHereMate · 12/10/2025 15:52

You're missing a zero. It was £1,000.

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Ahhh, sorry I'm blind. In that case he could've bought a dance for himself plus a couple others. But there's no way he didn't get one. And just being there and spending that much is massively irresponsible. Even if you did nothing (yeah right) it looks guilty as fuck!

Gloriia · 12/10/2025 15:57

As an aside I'm surprised you can just add someone's card to Apple Pay, you'd think there'd be all kinds of verification codes sent to the card owner and a bit careless of him to be on Life360 and go to a sex club.

Is he stupid as well as an angry, shouty man op?

Daygloboo · 12/10/2025 16:00

OldBeyondMyYears · 12/10/2025 10:50

🥴

He sat in the bar😂

Uptightmumma · 12/10/2025 16:10

MahoganyGrain · 12/10/2025 11:02

I AM fuming.
I absolutely do not agree with exploiting women. It’s sickening to think of any men leering over women, let alone my husband. He knows I would not be happy with this.

He said he was in a position where he felt he had no choice and will be getting this back on expenses.

It’s all lies isn’t it?

The proof with be the pudding ie - if he gets back on expenses or not. However this will still not prove wether or not he part took in the private dances etc

Daygloboo · 12/10/2025 16:11

Didimum · 12/10/2025 12:54

Sorry, but yes.

Patriarchy isn’t upheld by individual women trying to survive within it – it’s upheld by the system that makes those “choices” feel like the only viable ones. Calling a woman complicit for trying to rationalise her husband’s behaviour after being blindsided by betrayal is cruel and simplistic. She’s not defending patriarchy, she’s trying to make sense of her reality. Blame the structures and the men who exploit them – not the women trapped in the fallout.

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Very well articulated and on the nail.

Daygloboo · 12/10/2025 16:12

MahoganyGrain · 12/10/2025 10:48

Husband went to a strip club whilst away on a work trip.
Spent a ridiculous amount of money (over £1000).
Didn’t admit where he had been until confronted with proof.
His story:
he took some clients and paid for them to have private dances, while he sat in the bar area, having a drink whilst waiting for them.

I'm inclined to believe him, AIBU? Or just a complete fool?

Are you able to access any accounts that could indicate he has done this before.

cheercaptain · 12/10/2025 16:18

He lied. He’s still lying. And nothing about that will change.

Starzinsky · 12/10/2025 16:31

I don't think he is telling the truth but you already know he lies. I am really sorry. I hope you give him a really hard time and he lives to regret this.

MyDeftDuck · 12/10/2025 16:37

Really????? Believe that and you’ll believe in the tooth fairy 🤔