Page 12 | To go on holiday without kids?

Toskiornottoskii · 2025-10-11T22:13:29+00:00

I want to go skiing. Really as a family. Problem is DP doesn’t ski yet. Kids would be just turned 1 and just turned 4 in spring. So they would just be in ski crèche. My latest idea is to do a 4 day midweek break. Leave the kids with grandparents. DP can learn how to ski. This is potentially not the best for 1 yo. But would be heaven for the 4 year old. If we wait until next year then we have reception/ school to contest with and I feel like we should be at home then as I don’t want grandparents having to get eldest to school. Is this a bonkers idea?

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 15/10/2025 14:41

Cherrytree86 · 15/10/2025 14:29

@IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland

you’re contradicting yourself though because earlier you agreed that there is no issue with a parent being selfish sometimes and prioritising their own wants and self care from time to time.

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I'm not contradicting myself at all. I agree parents need to have time off for self care, but a 4 day holiday is an excessive way of achieving this and I think it is selfish to go on holiday without your children.

My issue is the length of time and leaving the children out of what could be a family holiday.

Leaving kids with granny for 2 nights whilst you and your DH have a romantic couples only focused break - cool.

Pissing off for 4 nights to do something your kids would have enjoyed too - not cool.

That's just my opinion.

YourPeppyAmberTraybake · 15/10/2025 14:45

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 15/10/2025 14:41

I'm not contradicting myself at all. I agree parents need to have time off for self care, but a 4 day holiday is an excessive way of achieving this and I think it is selfish to go on holiday without your children.

My issue is the length of time and leaving the children out of what could be a family holiday.

Leaving kids with granny for 2 nights whilst you and your DH have a romantic couples only focused break - cool.

Pissing off for 4 nights to do something your kids would have enjoyed too - not cool.

That's just my opinion.

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How about 3 nights, is that cool or not cool?

SouthLondonMum22 · 15/10/2025 14:46

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 15/10/2025 14:41

I'm not contradicting myself at all. I agree parents need to have time off for self care, but a 4 day holiday is an excessive way of achieving this and I think it is selfish to go on holiday without your children.

My issue is the length of time and leaving the children out of what could be a family holiday.

Leaving kids with granny for 2 nights whilst you and your DH have a romantic couples only focused break - cool.

Pissing off for 4 nights to do something your kids would have enjoyed too - not cool.

That's just my opinion.

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You can do both though.

I went away with DH for a week, DC's stayed with Grandparents.

We also went away for a week as a family.

Cherrytree86 · 15/10/2025 14:53

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 15/10/2025 14:41

I'm not contradicting myself at all. I agree parents need to have time off for self care, but a 4 day holiday is an excessive way of achieving this and I think it is selfish to go on holiday without your children.

My issue is the length of time and leaving the children out of what could be a family holiday.

Leaving kids with granny for 2 nights whilst you and your DH have a romantic couples only focused break - cool.

Pissing off for 4 nights to do something your kids would have enjoyed too - not cool.

That's just my opinion.

Show quote history

@IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland

The kids will be doing plenty of enjoyable stuff with their grandparents though. So it’s fine

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 15/10/2025 14:56

Cherrytree86 · 15/10/2025 14:53

@IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland

The kids will be doing plenty of enjoyable stuff with their grandparents though. So it’s fine

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It doesn't change my opinion though...
Why are you hellbent on convincing me otherwise? We don't agree and that's ok, leave it there shall we? It's getting boring for both of us.

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 15/10/2025 15:00

SouthLondonMum22 · 15/10/2025 14:46

You can do both though.

I went away with DH for a week, DC's stayed with Grandparents.

We also went away for a week as a family.

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I know you can do both. I just think going away on holiday without your kids is selfish. Shoot me.

brightgreenpepper · 15/10/2025 15:09

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 15/10/2025 14:41

I'm not contradicting myself at all. I agree parents need to have time off for self care, but a 4 day holiday is an excessive way of achieving this and I think it is selfish to go on holiday without your children.

My issue is the length of time and leaving the children out of what could be a family holiday.

Leaving kids with granny for 2 nights whilst you and your DH have a romantic couples only focused break - cool.

Pissing off for 4 nights to do something your kids would have enjoyed too - not cool.

That's just my opinion.

Show quote history

"something your kids would have enjoyed too"

But they're not really going to enjoy a ski trip age 4 and 1 are they? Either they are going to be in creche (have done this, 1 year old cried when we left him every morning) or one parent is going to be childcare, defeating the object of the trip.

They WILL however likely enjoy ski trips when they are bit older and OP and her DH will be much better placed to make that happen if her DH can already ski.

So if you need to justify the trip on the basis of what the DC are going to get out of it - they're getting the opportunity of future ski trips!

(not that it needs justifying, a 4 day trip while the DC are being spoilt by their grandparents sounds absolutely fine in my book, would have done it myself if we had grandparents at all willing!)

Andprettygood · 15/10/2025 17:51

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 15/10/2025 15:00

I know you can do both. I just think going away on holiday without your kids is selfish. Shoot me.

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Would you verbalise this in real life? Or is it a strictly limited to MN opinion?

Delatron · 15/10/2025 20:23

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 15/10/2025 14:41

I'm not contradicting myself at all. I agree parents need to have time off for self care, but a 4 day holiday is an excessive way of achieving this and I think it is selfish to go on holiday without your children.

My issue is the length of time and leaving the children out of what could be a family holiday.

Leaving kids with granny for 2 nights whilst you and your DH have a romantic couples only focused break - cool.

Pissing off for 4 nights to do something your kids would have enjoyed too - not cool.

That's just my opinion.

Show quote history

How does a baby enjoy skiing? Give over. You know they will have a much better holiday that is suitable for them with grandparents.

I’ve known parents take kids who were too young for skiing on a ski holiday with them and had to get a nanny/put them in nursery. No judgement from me but I’m guessing you’re arguing that’s better than grandparents?? Or do you expect them to sit in the chalet with them and take it in turns to go skiing?

Nobody on this thread agrees with your opinion…!

Cherrytree86 · 16/10/2025 11:38

Delatron · 15/10/2025 20:23

How does a baby enjoy skiing? Give over. You know they will have a much better holiday that is suitable for them with grandparents.

I’ve known parents take kids who were too young for skiing on a ski holiday with them and had to get a nanny/put them in nursery. No judgement from me but I’m guessing you’re arguing that’s better than grandparents?? Or do you expect them to sit in the chalet with them and take it in turns to go skiing?

Nobody on this thread agrees with your opinion…!

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@Delatron i think @IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland just thinks that parents should stay home unless they’re doing something for their kids that their kids will enjoy. OP shouldn’t be going skiing at this time in her life and that’s that. She’s a motherrrrrrr now.

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 16/10/2025 12:09

A 4 year old would enjoy being out in the snow and hot chocolate in a cabin. A 1 year old would not enjoy being left with a randomer as is evidenced by your experience and developmental psychologists/psychoanalysts for decades.

'7 months old: Your baby may start to take a fleeting interest in other babies now that they're more mobile. Most of the interaction will be limited to a glance and a grab, but once in a while your baby may smile and coo or imitate another baby's sounds.
For the most part, your baby is far too busy working on developmental milestones to really engage with another child. When two babies under age 1 are put next to each other with a set of toys, they usually play alone and not with each other, though they may watch and show some interest in what the other baby is doing.
Your baby still prefers immediate family and regular caregivers to all others. Soon you may notice that they're starting to be afraid of unfamiliar people (stranger anxiety) and struggling with separation anxiety.

12 months old: Toward the end of the first year, your baby may begin to seem antisocial – crying when you leave their side or anxious when they're in the arms of someone other than you or your partner.
Many kids go through separation anxiety, which peaks sometime between 10 and 18 months. This is developmentally appropriate and very common. Your child prefers you to the exclusion of others and may be distressed when you're not around. Sometimes only your presence will calm them.'

But I'm happy to take the flack for pointing out the obvious.

Cherrytree86 · 16/10/2025 12:11

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 16/10/2025 12:09

A 4 year old would enjoy being out in the snow and hot chocolate in a cabin. A 1 year old would not enjoy being left with a randomer as is evidenced by your experience and developmental psychologists/psychoanalysts for decades.

'7 months old: Your baby may start to take a fleeting interest in other babies now that they're more mobile. Most of the interaction will be limited to a glance and a grab, but once in a while your baby may smile and coo or imitate another baby's sounds.
For the most part, your baby is far too busy working on developmental milestones to really engage with another child. When two babies under age 1 are put next to each other with a set of toys, they usually play alone and not with each other, though they may watch and show some interest in what the other baby is doing.
Your baby still prefers immediate family and regular caregivers to all others. Soon you may notice that they're starting to be afraid of unfamiliar people (stranger anxiety) and struggling with separation anxiety.

12 months old: Toward the end of the first year, your baby may begin to seem antisocial – crying when you leave their side or anxious when they're in the arms of someone other than you or your partner.
Many kids go through separation anxiety, which peaks sometime between 10 and 18 months. This is developmentally appropriate and very common. Your child prefers you to the exclusion of others and may be distressed when you're not around. Sometimes only your presence will calm them.'

But I'm happy to take the flack for pointing out the obvious.

@IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland

since when are grandparents “randomers”??
lol

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 16/10/2025 12:13

Delatron · 15/10/2025 20:23

How does a baby enjoy skiing? Give over. You know they will have a much better holiday that is suitable for them with grandparents.

I’ve known parents take kids who were too young for skiing on a ski holiday with them and had to get a nanny/put them in nursery. No judgement from me but I’m guessing you’re arguing that’s better than grandparents?? Or do you expect them to sit in the chalet with them and take it in turns to go skiing?

Nobody on this thread agrees with your opinion…!

Show quote history

'How does a baby enjoy skiing? Give over.' A 4 year old would enjoy playing in the snow and a baby doesn't enjoy being away from their primary caregiver.

'Or do you expect them to sit in the chalet with them and take it in turns to go skiing?' Pretty much.

'Nobody on this thread agrees with your opinion…!' Is that supposed to bother me? I wasn't aware it was a popularity contest.

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 16/10/2025 12:16

Cherrytree86 · 16/10/2025 12:11

@IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland

since when are grandparents “randomers”??
lol

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I was responding to @brightgreenpepper who left her 1 year old in a crèche on holiday. The page refreshed so didn't quote her comment I was responding to. Maybe follow the thread before you jump down my throat.

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 16/10/2025 12:21

Cherrytree86 · 16/10/2025 11:38

@Delatron i think @IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland just thinks that parents should stay home unless they’re doing something for their kids that their kids will enjoy. OP shouldn’t be going skiing at this time in her life and that’s that. She’s a motherrrrrrr now.

Show quote history

Well I haven't said 'parents should stay home unless they’re doing something for their kids' once in this thread, so not only are you putting words in my mouth you are also acting like a school bully by tagging others to 'gang up' on me because you don't like my opinion. How immature.

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/10/2025 12:26

Are your parents on board? At 61 and nearly 67, looking after two at those ages for 4 nights would be a no from us I’m afraid.

Delatron · 16/10/2025 12:29

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 16/10/2025 12:09

A 4 year old would enjoy being out in the snow and hot chocolate in a cabin. A 1 year old would not enjoy being left with a randomer as is evidenced by your experience and developmental psychologists/psychoanalysts for decades.

'7 months old: Your baby may start to take a fleeting interest in other babies now that they're more mobile. Most of the interaction will be limited to a glance and a grab, but once in a while your baby may smile and coo or imitate another baby's sounds.
For the most part, your baby is far too busy working on developmental milestones to really engage with another child. When two babies under age 1 are put next to each other with a set of toys, they usually play alone and not with each other, though they may watch and show some interest in what the other baby is doing.
Your baby still prefers immediate family and regular caregivers to all others. Soon you may notice that they're starting to be afraid of unfamiliar people (stranger anxiety) and struggling with separation anxiety.

12 months old: Toward the end of the first year, your baby may begin to seem antisocial – crying when you leave their side or anxious when they're in the arms of someone other than you or your partner.
Many kids go through separation anxiety, which peaks sometime between 10 and 18 months. This is developmentally appropriate and very common. Your child prefers you to the exclusion of others and may be distressed when you're not around. Sometimes only your presence will calm them.'

But I'm happy to take the flack for pointing out the obvious.

You haven’t had children though. So you don’t know what it’s
like to have a baby. Mine were perfectly happy in nursery at that age. You’ve stitched yourself up with the above quote. Babies are happy with ‘regular caregivers’.

They will be more than happy with grandparents! They are familiar with grandparents.

Biskieboo · 16/10/2025 12:30

CrispsPlease · 11/10/2025 23:52

I'll be honest and blunt here, I really don't agree with these "solo" me me me Pursuits. You had children . You can't have it both ways.

It makes me laugh how everyone on here slags off young normal aged parents in their 20s. Yet I'll bet your late 30s , early 40s. It's always the older parents who do things like this. Can't seem to understand it's your child's time now, not your solo escapades time.

Shite on stilts. Having kids doesn't mean you can't have a few days off on your own for a decade or more. We each have a week or so off to do our own thing each year, plus the odd weekend here and there, and it works perfectly well. You'll be one of those that whinges about having no hobbies, friends or purpose when your kids grow up and leave home.

SouthLondonMum22 · 16/10/2025 12:44

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 16/10/2025 12:09

A 4 year old would enjoy being out in the snow and hot chocolate in a cabin. A 1 year old would not enjoy being left with a randomer as is evidenced by your experience and developmental psychologists/psychoanalysts for decades.

'7 months old: Your baby may start to take a fleeting interest in other babies now that they're more mobile. Most of the interaction will be limited to a glance and a grab, but once in a while your baby may smile and coo or imitate another baby's sounds.
For the most part, your baby is far too busy working on developmental milestones to really engage with another child. When two babies under age 1 are put next to each other with a set of toys, they usually play alone and not with each other, though they may watch and show some interest in what the other baby is doing.
Your baby still prefers immediate family and regular caregivers to all others. Soon you may notice that they're starting to be afraid of unfamiliar people (stranger anxiety) and struggling with separation anxiety.

12 months old: Toward the end of the first year, your baby may begin to seem antisocial – crying when you leave their side or anxious when they're in the arms of someone other than you or your partner.
Many kids go through separation anxiety, which peaks sometime between 10 and 18 months. This is developmentally appropriate and very common. Your child prefers you to the exclusion of others and may be distressed when you're not around. Sometimes only your presence will calm them.'

But I'm happy to take the flack for pointing out the obvious.

Immediate family will include Grandparents in many families.

Grandparents have had mine overnight since they were 6 weeks old. By the time they were left for a week with them, they were more than comfortable and were also comfortable with been left at nursery.

Andprettygood · 16/10/2025 12:50

CrispsPlease · 11/10/2025 23:52

I'll be honest and blunt here, I really don't agree with these "solo" me me me Pursuits. You had children . You can't have it both ways.

It makes me laugh how everyone on here slags off young normal aged parents in their 20s. Yet I'll bet your late 30s , early 40s. It's always the older parents who do things like this. Can't seem to understand it's your child's time now, not your solo escapades time.

Would you make this clear if, say, your DD if she has children, does decide to go away with out her children on a holiday?

Has it occurred to you @CrispsPlease that you would benefit from taking a solo holiday (without your dick of a dh) and to come back feeling rejuvenated and more able to see the woods for the trees?

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 16/10/2025 12:59

Delatron · 16/10/2025 12:29

You haven’t had children though. So you don’t know what it’s
like to have a baby. Mine were perfectly happy in nursery at that age. You’ve stitched yourself up with the above quote. Babies are happy with ‘regular caregivers’.

They will be more than happy with grandparents! They are familiar with grandparents.

Show quote history

I haven't stitched myself up at all. You obviously haven't read the full comment. Babies are happy with regular caregivers at around 7 months to a year, they then enter a separation anxiety phase at 12 months where they don't want anyone but the primary caregiver.

I don't know why you keep swinging out of me not having had a baby as though it invalidates the work of experts... but you do you.

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 16/10/2025 13:06

SouthLondonMum22 · 16/10/2025 12:44

Immediate family will include Grandparents in many families.

Grandparents have had mine overnight since they were 6 weeks old. By the time they were left for a week with them, they were more than comfortable and were also comfortable with been left at nursery.

Show quote history

Yes, immediate family does include grandparents, that does not mean a 1 year old prefers GP to their primary caregiver.

Look, I'm not getting into an argument about the social development of children and resulting attachment styles as the evidence is there online if you wish to look it up. But this evidence is a part of what has formed my opinion on why I think leaving kids at home while you holiday is selfish.

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/10/2025 13:11

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 16/10/2025 12:59

I haven't stitched myself up at all. You obviously haven't read the full comment. Babies are happy with regular caregivers at around 7 months to a year, they then enter a separation anxiety phase at 12 months where they don't want anyone but the primary caregiver.

I don't know why you keep swinging out of me not having had a baby as though it invalidates the work of experts... but you do you.

Edited

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Ours were very unhappy with anyone but us for much longer than 12 months 🤷‍♀️

Andprettygood · 16/10/2025 13:16

How much experience do you have of babies and 4 year olds @IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland ?

Original poster

Toskiornottoskii · 16/10/2025 13:27

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/10/2025 12:26

Are your parents on board? At 61 and nearly 67, looking after two at those ages for 4 nights would be a no from us I’m afraid.

Yes have got the go ahead! Just trying to find the right place now to book.

Super lucky with my in laws. They had a family quite young so early 50/ just turned 50 age bracket. Very active with the grandkids. We aren’t the only set!

Their house literally looks like a day care centre and they absolutely love it!

OP posts: