I don't like how people tend to speak to their children

[BeWaryFinch]

Fairly sure if another adult spoke to you the way that you speak to your children you would not like it. 'put your shoes on now' 'go to bed now' 'get in the car now' many other examples, or changing your tone of voice to be different than if you were speaking to another adult. Why do parents do this.

Children are not adults though.
Adults dont usually have full responsibility for other adults, what they do or say.
Adults are held responsible for how their children present to the world, whether that's right or wrong, its the way of the world.
You mentioned that you wouldnt give a child an electronic device, thereby preventing a future issue, which demonstrates that you would treat a child differently to an adult, unless you would prevent an adult from having an electronic device too.

I also wouldn't encourage another adult to eat their vegetables, control the snack cupboard, prevent them from drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes if that's what they chose to do.
I wouldnt set a bed time for an adult, or prevent them from watching the TV.

😆

So you make them walk to school with no shoes on? Seems rather cruel to me.

But you'd never actually need to ask an adult to put their shoes on to go outside... They've already learned that is necessary to go outside.

The screen battles wouldn't exist in the same way as an adult... The relationship can be split with adults. You can leave a partner who is addicted to a screen or gets angry and throws things when you ask them to turn it off etc. you can't do that with your child. And children's brains are different.

As for the dinner thing, an adult if perfectly capable of managing their food intake and not okay silly buggers. But your child might. And they might start kicking off and demanding sweets etc at some point you do have to insist they eat the perfectly nice dinner provided. They can't be given the freedom to "choose what they want to eat" because they will choose chocolate...cake
.. sweets etc and you are responsible for ensuring they eat a good and nutritious diet.

As for bribing the child with chocolate....well you'd NEVER DO THAT WITH AN ADULT!!! So why was it acceptable to do it with the child??? 😱

I find the very public performative parenting worse. You know the type who speak to their children loudly to ensure everyone around can hear that "Well done Octavia, that's correct we dont ever eat processed sugars in our house do we? That's fine for others of course isn't it dahling but we know better". You're that type aren't you OP? Note - you're also being judged and found wanting lol.

You sound like my DD, who acts like she thinks she knows as well as - if not better than - her adult parents. She’s literally a half-formed human being, literally immature. She doesn’t understand adult-speak.

Have a child, have a couple, come back a few years after and apologise.

Or ask advice on how to stop bribery as a main parenting technique and how to explain dental sedation to your child. Or maybe it'll be asking if you need a&e to get glass out of your child's foot because they didn't fancy wearing shoes on the way to school.

Or you could find a bit of humility, because whoever's child you're caring for, you're basically publicly shitting on their parenting with no actual knowledge.

If someone did all my cooking, all my cleaning, went to work and earned all the money to pay all the bills, bought me all new clothes every year, paid for me to go to fun clubs, took me for days out, bought me nice treats in the house, cuddled me and made me feel safe and loved… they could absolutely tell me to get in the car or put my shoes on.

Whilst I agree with the sentiment that children should be spoken to respectfully….You’re being a dick and you know it. You think children should be spoken to like adults but then you bribed a child in to a car with chocolate buttons 🤔hmmmm…. yea …… not sure I’ve ever bribed an adult.
you aren’t a parent and it shows. You’re just a judgemental person who has completely unrealistic expectations. Regardless how long you spend with your friends child (and have the nerve to deceive yourself as “essentially the other parent” )…. Your not. And therefore have no idea. Kids are unreasonable and don’t have the capacity to make safe and sensible decisions. But please come back in a few years when you have more life experience and let us know how things go.

😂😂😂😂😂

OP: I would never make a child do something they don't want to do.

Also OP: I bribed a child with chocolate to make them do something they didn't want to do.

What about when I bribe my daughter with chocolate all day for all the instructions she doesn't like to follow, and let her choose her own food for dinner (again chocolate), she gets glass in her feet from not wearing shoes outside? She's then diabetic with a scar in her foot?

When you meet an adult in life, arriving under their own steam, on time and fully dressed, it’s often as a consequence of ‘that’ paren/carer, using ‘that’ language.

So funny! I'd rather shout at my children than set up a system where they expect chocolate to be prepared to do basic entry level things.

Children need boundaries, discipline and consistency.

Turning round and saying, "fine, you don't want shoes, no probs, we'll take them in a bag in case you want them later", is not helping them in the long run. Our job as parents is to teach them to cope in life.

I can be short, my child has dyslexia and it was explained to me that I need to keep commands very simple and on point. i.e. Tie, Shoes, Bag. I genuinely think that there'll be a bigger problem from gentle parenting than from parents who are clear in their expecations.

By day 10 she'll be giving them a Ferrari

Quite, and what happens when chocolate doesn't work... Doughnut? Cash?

I agree with you OP. If I said 'get in the car now' or 'out your shoes on now' to an adult would likely find those commands disrespectful. Children are still people.

Something like "Let's get in the car" or "we need to leave now so we get to school before the bell goes" is much more cooperative but still firm.

What a weird thread. OP is clueless about parenting.

However, children are not adults.

One thousand bags of chocolate coins later......

Oh OP, we were all perfect parents before we actually had children of our own!
Even one child it’s easy to be a smug know it all. The second one bites you in the arse and the third? It’s all gone out the window by then.

Good luck!

Mate. I’m cringing for you. I have to link this video. Michael will tell you.

I would be furious if my child was not listening to me and someone you thought they knew better came over and started offering treats to do something, cos what has that child learnt? If I don’t do the first time I’ll get something nice or I’ll get my own way! A child is not going to get on in the real world if they don’t learn there is bad outcomes to not following instructions

What a load of shite.

OP with respect, it sounds like maybe your friend is not a great parent - but if you think bribing a child with chocolate coins is the magic solution to get them to do things, then when you do end up as a parent, you will end up with a morbidly obese child... who still won't do what you ask. Yes we should all speak to our children with respect and most parents do this the first time they ask the child to do something, but if you've tried that several times, the kid still hasn't done it, and the situation is non negotiable i.e. they have to go to school or similar, then parents need to speak more firmly. Your post does come across as extremely naive.

Why would you speak to a child as if they were an adult? They are a child, they’re not at the same emotional intelligence of an adult, their understanding would be completely different.