I don't like how people tend to speak to their children

[BeWaryFinch]

Fairly sure if another adult spoke to you the way that you speak to your children you would not like it. 'put your shoes on now' 'go to bed now' 'get in the car now' many other examples, or changing your tone of voice to be different than if you were speaking to another adult. Why do parents do this.

It’s better than will you just get into the fucking car NOW ! Because I have tried 43 times to ask in a nice way 😂

You don't generally have to give adults multiple instructions, they usually have self motivation to get up and go to work etc.

Oh, Lord. I’m just going to pick one part of this up as I don’t want to sound like a dick.
A child should be able to pick what they want to eat? No. Many young children would survive on sweets given the choice.
Buckle up for when you have children - I sense you’ll look back on this and cringe!

Have you got two accounts, OP?

Yes, especially that. A neighbours child was diagnosed with ADHD and everything he does gets put down to it. He is 9, he broke a window, smashes things up. He swears and always getting into trouble. I believe he is on his way to going to prison as an adult. He has a step dad, both his step dad and mother are alcoholics and in and out of prison for violent offences. But that’s another topic.

Ah yes, the non parent who knows best, including using bribery (chocolate) to get a child to do what they want and thinking that makes them smart.

No, it creates a child who demands treats for doing basic, every day expectations.

FFS, OP hasn't a clue.

This is a load of absolute nonsense. Any parent who routinely uses bribery to get a child to do something basic like get in the car is parenting badly. Unfortunately you do need to get small children to be used to doing what they are told because otherwise, later on, when they are 14 or 16 and want to do something completely inappropriate or want to not do something they actually do have to do, it's going to be two million times harder to achieve it.

On one occasion. And you bribed him with chocolate. Is it feasible to bribe children with chocolate the 107 other times per day you may need them to follow an instruction?

Pretty sure sometimes I bark it so loud that my neighbours snap to attention and put their shoes on and brush their teeth before my children do.

I don't like it either but shoes must be on and teeth must be brushed and sometimes gentle requests don't cut it.

Come back when you have your own kids and you’ve been doing the job 24/7 for at least a decade.

As my children have got older, I have discovered that I can ask them sweetly and politely to do something just once, and they will jump to do it, providing that I add a magic five letter phrase to my request:

"Or the WiFi goes off".

😆😆😆

Your autistic 6 year old?

Because children’s brains are not fully developed, they don’t process language in the same way as adults and additional words are a hindrance.
Parents also aren’t “talking” to their children in that instance, they’re giving instructions. How can you not realise that?

To be honest I don't have my own child

you don't say... 😂 No one would have possibly guess that!

and thank god for that, because if you did and you actually behave the way you are pretending your would, your child would be the world worst feral brat

People speak to small children differently to adults because small children behave differently to adults.

Frankly, an adult who was aimlessly dithering about with their thumb in their mouth and one finger up their nose, whining in a stupid voice that they didn’t want to wear the socks they specifically said they wanted to wear two minutes ago because they smell of the colour blue, calling their sister poo-face and playing with the light switch, when we needed to leave immediately to get to an important appointment, would be getting much harsher words from me than “Put your shoes on now.”

If you want me to start asking six-year-olds what the hell is wrong with them and telling them hurry the fuck up, stop behaving like braindead wankers and put their fucking shoes on because if we don’t get to the doctor’s appointment it took me a month to book I will never speak to them again, the stupid selfish bastards - then yeah, happy to try that.

When reading up about parenting did it recommended bribery with chocolate? Funny that you say don't give your child a screen if you don't want them on them but then say you gave a child chocolate, quite contradicting.
If I ate whatever I felt like eating I would be eating chocolate most of the time. Being an adult with knowledge on the importance of nutrition I am able to make an informed decision and ensure I eat well. A child doesn't have that ability, so no, we shouldn't let them eat what they want.
If I did whatever I wanted I would be up late every night and I would be spending my time walking in the park, going on my phone, going to parties. Being an adult I know that I need to go to work to pay the bills, I need enough sleep to function well, I need to keep my house clean, do the laundry and cook nutritional meals. A child doesn't understand this. I don't need to think about why they don't want to get in the car to go to the shop or school. It's very obvious that they just want to play because that's more fun but life comes with responsibilities, it's not always fun.
You really are quite patronising and ill informed. I don't usually go by the statement of people without children shouldn't comment on parenting. I've worked with children and had colleagues who don't have children but know what they are talking about but you seem clueless to the reality of having children and lack insight into a child's capabilities.

and that's relevant how?

There's more to parenting than getting a child out of the house 😂😂

Because they are parents?

Hahaha. Yeah, I am not carrying DS a mile to school with his shoes slung over my shoulder in a Tesco bag for life.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like the OP, that was just an example from my experience with my autistic nephew. Parenting (or supporting) an autistic child can be really challenging, especially when they’re overwhelmed or struggling to cope with changes or sensory overload. It’s not about being strict or shouting; it’s about finding ways to keep things calm and predictable so they can manage better.

These all sound like interactions that are happening in someone’s home - so who are you eavesdropping on in the privacy of their home?

"Okay now we'll be going out soon to Ovado to buy some olives and avocados, and perhaps some gin for Mummy because Grandma is coming tomorrow so I need my little sweetheart to find his shoes please Jeremiah and pop them on, that would me me soo happy and proud of you for making good choices."

Versus:

"Jeremiah. Shoes."

Guess which one was most effective with my eldest child.

For my second born child neither approach works. He's an agent of chaos brought about to make my question all of my life choices and turn into some sort of demon version of my own 80's parenting mother. 😭🤣

OP, with the greatest respect, you don't have children, which became quite clear in the way you have written your post.

I treat all of my children with respect, and have always asked them to do things with a please / would you mind / thank you etc. Children can become quite stubborn, and I have, at times, had to be more direct with them, similar to the manner which you totally disagree with - usually if they haven't listened after being asked a couple of times. I certainly would not say "get in the car now" in the first instance - that is just plain rude.

However, you spending time with a friends child, and bribing them to do something with chocolate, is nothing to be proud of - in fact it will make the child more stubborn if they know a treat will be the end result of such behaviour!

Let's be honest, we all have to do things we don't want to do throughout our lives, whether you are a child or an adult. It's part of life. 🤷‍♀️

I suggest you have a couple of children, be a mum 24/7, 365 days a year - and come back in a few years time and tell us all how you are getting on........

Omg! So many emojis I’d love to use here.
completely stupid for someone with no kids demanding people with kids speak to them in a certain way.
barf!!

I have to get 5 kids up and out the door before I go to work. I can't afford that many chocolate coins.
My 16 year old son would think I need sectioning if I put his shoes in a bag 😂

https://youtube.com/shorts/HAOX5yqpndY?si=a-1S7bykJiTRJaPE

My house most mornings 🙈