To think people should just pronounce her name the way she has asked them to?

[Grandies]

A few weeks ago a relatively young new employee joined my workplace, we aren’t on the same team, but we sit close together and I’ve gotten to know her quite well. She isn’t British, and she pronounces her name her slightly differently in her home language than in English. It’s not a massive difference and it’s a short name (such as it begins with E, in her language she would pronounce that “Eh” while in English the name is most commonly said with a more “ee” sound at the start) and the second syllable is pronounced the same. She still corrects people when they get it wrong and it clearly matters to her.
Last night I went to the pub with some colleagues and some people were making fun of how much she corrects people with her name (she isn’t rude it’s just if they say her name she responds with the correct pronunciation). They were also talking about the fact we have others in the world place who’s names get mispronounced and they just let it go. They also noted it’s hard as the name is pretty popular in the uk and pronounced a different way. It wasn’t a nice conversation, and it spiralled a little into stereotypes of the country etc. I called it out, noted that it was really inappropriate to talk that way about someone and left. I’m unsure as of yet if it’s worth reporting to HR.
I personally believe we should all try and pronounce peoples names as they want them to be, regardless of if they correct you or not, but especially if it’s relatively simple and they do correct you.
My husband disagrees he thinks she will need to realise sooner or later that she is in the UK now, and if her name is pronounced with the “ee” sound here she will just need to get used to it.

AIBU?

Do you think we can chop and change the meaning of adjectives too? If I insist on being referred to as tall, blonde and skinny is that OK when I’m short, brunette and fat? Demand that others call me American when in fact I’m British?

Where do you draw the line at redefining words from our common language?

Those who are saying that some names are hard to pronounce are missing the point. These people are deliberately mispronouncing her name. It's rude and unnecessary.

It's like the name Evelyn. In Scotland it's pronounced Evv- e-lyn whereas in England it's Eve-e-lyn.
My friend had to continually explain this when she lived in England.
Most people were fine but some would sarcastically say "Oh it's Evvvvv-e-lyn"

Some people are just twats.

Ordinarily, I would say people should just pronounce it how she asks them to as, in this instance, it's really just an accent thing more than anything.

However, I once went to school with someone called Penelope, who insisted her name was pronounced PeneLOPE - like rope! Given Penelop-ee is the universally accepted pronunciation, this just irritated the hell out of me!

I know three Eva’s; they are an English Ee-va, a Scandavian A-va and a Spanish Eh-va. I pronounce each in the way they introduced themselves to me, it’s a short, easy name with any pronunciation!
One of the Eva’s I work with and another colleague insists on pronouncing her name wrong almost as a badge of honour but it just makes me assume he’s a bit dim!

Yes this is true. We had a new Indian girl join our school in y3 and everyone - kids and teachers - said it wrong for a few months until parents evening when the mum said the child’s name and it became apparent we’d all been saying it wrong. Next day teacher asked the girl to clarify how to say it and they went back and forth a few times with the teacher clearly not getting it right. Eventually another (Indian) girl in the class said ‘it’s no good Mrs X, you just haven’t got an Indian accent!’

My daughter has a French name which is now common in England. It sounds beautiful in a French accent but beyond ridiculous if I put on a French accent every time I say her name! So we use the slightly anglicised version.

howwer, the name in question is pronounced like an English word - ‘ever’ - so there’s really no excuse here.

It sounds like she is fighting her own battles. But xenophobia, sexism and bullying is something we should all stand against when we hear/see it. I think the OP did the right thing.

Thanks for calling me a liar.

If people are mispronouncing her name, that's not her name. The girl deserves to be called by her actual name!!

YADNBU
Assuming the name is easy to pronounce in English. I've qualified that because some names/words are practically impossible to pronounce by speakers of different languages. Example - it is extremely difficult for Chinese people to pronounce the letter 'R' so a name like Rebecca would be just about impossible to get right. So if someone called Rebecca 'corrected' a Chinese person every time they mispronounced her name, that would be boarding on harassment imo. I'm sure this works the other way around and there are names/words English people just can't say. This doesn't sound the case here though.

I'm sure this works the other way around and there are names/words English people just can't say.

There definitely are - one that comes to mind is that I worked with someone whose name required a sound halfway between “tee” and “thee”. I could hear how it was pronounced but neither I nor any of the other English people in the team could actually make the correct sound. And a good friend of mine has a name with a rhotic “r” in the middle, which with my non-rhotic accent I simply can’t say (to be fair, she can’t pronounce my name quite correctly either as it has a sound that’s not in her native language)

But where does it end? Say your name is Claire and you pronounce it as Cl-urr is someone who pronounces it Cl-air wrong?

I know an EVlyn and an EVElyn and they both correct people all the time. People who should know how their name is pronounced. To me, they are different names so people should pronounce them properly.

My mums name is pronounced MARie (Dutch pronunciation) and people call her MArie. Same spelling. Different sound. Different name. Get it right 😊

If you pronounce your name as Cl-urr, people should ,if able, pronounce it the same way as you do because that is how you pronounce your name. That is what you call yourself and want to be called, so why should you not be if someone is able to do so?

If someone tells me their name is Cl-urr, I’m not going to tell them no, your name is Cl-air. Be a bit rude to tell someone how to pronounce their own name knowing there are other pronunciations.

Plenty of common names have more than one pronunciation.

I used to work with a Bulgarian girl called Milena. This one annoying woman used to always call her Melina. Used to annoy me let alone her

I actually know three Naomis and they are all pronounced nay-omi. I have no idea why people say ny-omi. It isn't speelled in a way to make it sound like that.

Honestly, if I went to live in a different place, culturally, linguistically, ie Greece/Russia/Macadonia etc , I think I'd struggle to get annoyed by this. We talking about a singular vowel here...most likely there's a back story of her suffering petty chauvanisms, which is the real question, do you think?

It’s her name!!!!!!

Pronounce it how she wants it pronounced! She is correcting them. How rude can you be? @TessSaysYes

My name is my name - it is nothing to do with my location.

You should always attempt to get someone's name right. If you really can't, you can't, but at least you'll have made the effort.

I've not had problems with people pronouncing my name wrong, but my middle name has an unusual spelling for the UK and is nearly always misspelled, for example on my medical records, which means data entry workers are constantly correcting my spelling of my own name on forms. The name was my DGM middle name and when she died we discovered that on her birth certificate it's spelt in the way more common for the UK and I'm absolutely convinced it was 'corrected' to that when the birth was registered.

It’s incredibly rude to continue to get her name wrong once corrected and even more rude to stereotype her nationality.

My nephew’s name is Scandinavian. His Granny and some of his teachers pronounce it incorrectly and opted to use his nickname. That’s lazy.

Your husband also sounds like a dick.

You're right and I hate this kind of bitching by your workmates. It's just an excuse to slag someone off.

If somebody pronounces Claire as Cl-urr I'd feel like I was mocking her accent if I said it like that.

My neighbour is called Mairi, pronounced Mah-ree. Two English neighbours call her Marry with a very short a sound but she doesn't correct them.

I've lived in different countries and my name's been pronounced differently. I haven't cared. Also, it's too much effort to constantly correct people. Even in the country I'm from, it gets pronounced incorrectly.

I do actually make sure I pronounce names correctly.

My former school is currently running a campaign called "Every Name Matters".
It can be a sensitive issue, and I'm glad you're standing up for her.

They're ridiculous and rude. The pronunciation Eh-va isn't even that uncommon in the UK.