Just buy a 5 bed......

[InBedBy10]

.......This was said repeatedly on another thread, where the OP was trying to figure out bedroom situations with kids and step kids.

Am I the only one who thinks Mumsnet is breathtakingly out of touch? Most people I know have struggled to get a basic 3 bed. Alot cant even get that. Casually telling someone to "just buy a 5 bed" , like its so easy is down right moronic in my view. The housing crisis is well publicised. You cant be that stupid!

Context is everything. In the context of the thread, as many people have explained, it's not an unrealistic suggestion.

One of the most out of touch was "Are there any boarding schools you could send him to"? Kid was 4 and just entered state school.

Mumsnet is full of champagne socialists who can afford to vote Labour and say they are happy to pay higher taxes. Half of them don’t even need to work because they have a partner who works in the city earning 6 figures. They don’t know what it’s like to work five days a week with nothing to show for it at the end of the month.

People I know who live/d in a 5 bedroom house had an over-garage extension built at their 3 bed semi. A 5 bed detached will have been built as a luxury option so likely has a larger garage and garden and will mostly likely be very expensive but it’s possible to get the number of bedrooms cheaper if it involves a modification on a 3 bed house in what may be a cheaper road, or houses built over 3 floors.

I agree though that if someone could easily afford to buy a larger house, they wouldn’t be asking for advice on best use of the one they’ve got.

There are a couple of houses not too far from me where I think the family is using the
caravan on their drive as part of their everyday living accommodation.

I didn’t see the thread but that sound awful. Making your kids share a bedroom with someone else’s kids because you want to live with your new partner is really selfish and a parenting fail.

That thread was ridiculous. Buy a 5 bed- 3 of the kids were elder teens who were very part time. They could buy a 5 bed and find they only had 1 kid at home a year after completion.

@InBedBy10 If it helps OP, I ridiculed those people in my post.

"Just get a 5 bedroom house."
"If you're unwell, just stop being sick."
"If you're poor, just go and get some money."
"If you have mental health issues, just be happy."

They should just delay moving in together then instead of being selfish.

Yes this exactly. In that thread there were two adults, four kids, two households, total of 6 bedrooms proposing all 6 people went to live in a 4 bed house. Duh, no, everyone is better off where they are!
Surely if you can afford 6 bedrooms between you, you can afford a 5 bed place together? But even if not, if the kids end up with a worse standard of living then it's not fair on them just so a boyfriend and girlfriend can live together.

Or not. There could be 4 DC there several years on.

Yes agreed 💯, and so did a lot of people on the original thread. To extrapolate that specific situation to ‘typical of MN, these rich people have no idea’ is sort of a bit idiotic.

Far too many people put their kids needs last, especially often in ‘blended family’ situations.

No, you are missing the point of their comments. They can’t afford to blend those two families until they can afford a five bed, unless there are significant compromises.

If she sticks to that gun, her DP may rethink his DCs needs as to me it seemed that the issue was own bedrooms for DC that are barely ever there.

It may not be the point of YOUR post, but it WAS the point of the one you are responding to.

You wouldn't blend families but this couple were, they were putting their relationship above the needs of their children, who each have their own room in their individual homes. THEY want to live together and are expecting their children to agree even though this means 2 children will HAVE to share in someway. If you're the children expected to share then that can/will cause growing resentment as in.. why do we have to share when his/her kids are getting their own rooms? As a parent id put the moving in together on hold until the children issue can be solved.

I have no issue with sharing, I'm 54 and I have ALWAYS shared . Initially with 2 sisters, then as single mum with my DS, then with my DH.

Which is exactly what happens when a younger sibling is born.

My friend’s DS ended up having to share her DSS, both of them were really unhappy, they were 11 and 13. Eventually they were able to make the living room smaller and create a single bedroom downstairs in that space for the DSS.

It the liberal use of "just" that irritates amuses me.

Just move house/build an extension.
Just tell them no. No other explanation needed.
Just LTB.
Just learn to drive.
Just book a holiday and/or spa day.
Just send your kid to private school.
Just buy insanely expensive item that you've explained that you cant afford.
Just get a doctor's appointment.

They currently have six bedrooms (2 x 3 bedroom houses). They’re prioritising their own wish to get married and live together over the best option for their children.

Except nobody said ‘just buy a 5 bed’.

You added that yourself.

Sometimes people do make the most obvious suggestions.

Urgggh, that word “ naice” grinds my gears. Is it posh for nice? I’ve never heard of it in IRL.

“they wouldn’t be asking for advice on best use of the one they’ve got” - they weren’t!

The op on that thread and her partner each have a 3-bed house where their respective two children have their own rooms. They want to buy a 4-bed together meaning two kids would have to share, but neither of them want their own children having to share. Posters were advising op to look for a 5-bed if they want to be fair and keep everyone happy. Or else maintain the current set up.

This would've been a better thread had you not insisted on tying it to an example of a discussion you wildly missed the point of OP.

Yes, I think that's a fair point.

Yes, it irrationally annoys me, too!

“Naice” as in ham is MNers taking the piss out of upper class (or people trying to sound upper class) accents saying nice.

It usually should be read with a sneer.

Yeah . From the opening post where OP questions whether MN is breathtakingly out of touch, it wasn’t initially apparent to me that this was a TAAT (which, incidentally, I thought weren’t part of MN Talk rules). If I had realised I wouldn’t have bothered commenting as I hadn’t seen that thread. I just thought OP was referencing it in order to prove her point.