Just buy a 5 bed......

[InBedBy10]

.......This was said repeatedly on another thread, where the OP was trying to figure out bedroom situations with kids and step kids.

Am I the only one who thinks Mumsnet is breathtakingly out of touch? Most people I know have struggled to get a basic 3 bed. Alot cant even get that. Casually telling someone to "just buy a 5 bed" , like its so easy is down right moronic in my view. The housing crisis is well publicised. You cant be that stupid!

People are simply making a suggestion.

There's nuance, I live in a 3 bed terrace in London but there are plenty of 5 beds I can afford if I moved elsewhere. And I could get the loft done etc.

The point on that thread was both partners had 3 bed houses with their respective dc having their own bedroom. Moving in together and making some dc have to share was not imo the best option.

Happens all the time on here.

Shitty neighbors? Just move op!!
Annoying spouse? LTB op!!
DC struggling at school? Move schools op!!
Terrible commute? Learn to drive op!!

As if all these life changing things can be achieved overnight.

The Op currently have 6 bedrooms, 2 × 3 bedroom house and plan to downsize to a 4 bed but with 4 children that was going to be tricky.

If they can afford 2 houses now their issue isn't so much money.

On mumsnet it’s an opinion that every child need s a huge double bedroom to themselves and children shouldn’t share a room.

however in reality people muddle through with what they can afford. We don’t all live in wonderland.

I don’t know many people who would be able to buy a 5 bed house but I also don’t know many people who would have so many kids making it a problem. It’s just a suggestion for a situation a lot of people wouldn’t get themselves into if they couldn’t afford it.

A suggestion that is breathtakingly out of touch. That's my point. Dont you think, if someone could afford a 5 bed in the first place, they wouldn't be on here asking for advice on splitting bedrooms? Alot of Mumsnet seem to be high earners and seem to have no grasp of how it is for the majority of the country.

@Pleasealexa Exactly

Kids need to feel welcome and wanted in their own home. So when forcing them to combine their living space with another family the very least you should offer is their own bedroom. Otherwise stay put until one kid actually buys or rents their own place.

On mumsnet it’s an opinion that every child need s a huge double bedroom to themselves and children shouldn’t share a room.

My dc currently share however that is very different to moving in with a new partner and having some of the dc share who used to have their own bedrooms..

My favourite is

Got some anxiety or difficulty with doing something? - Get therapy. Just like that.

Like thats going to fix every little foible people have, even if you could afford it.

Thank you for saying it!

There's several things that pop up on here where I have to stop reading the thread, as the thrust of it ends up being completely out of touch with the average earners reality.

And the threads where people are handwringing about properties with downstairs bathrooms as if they've never heard of such a thing

Kids need to feel welcome and wanted in their own home. So when forcing them to combine their living space with another family the very least you should offer is their own bedroom. Otherwise stay put until one kid actually buys or rents their own place

This

like its so easy is down right moronic in my view

The moronic thing with with that post, was the OP and her finance not working out bedrooms etc long before planning to move in together and buying a house together! Reminded me of the brady bunch!

I don't think the "housing crisis" is about whether people buy a four or five bedroom house.......

Argh...The thread which got completely derailed by the downstairs bathroom.

A woman had her private nude photos stolen from a locked folder on her phone by a male guest in her house, and the bathroom location was the thing that became the focus.

Crazy.

Kids need a safe, warm roof over their heads. Their own room would be nice but it's a luxury most cant afford.

As a single mother myself, I personally wouldn't combine families but thats not the point of this thread.

The point is alot of MNers cant seem to grasp how financially hard it is out there for alot of people.

As though the OP hadn't thought of buying a 5 bedroom house herself.

Just buy a five bed.

Let them eat cake.

The point was more that the house OP was looking at wasn't suitable for her blended family, so if they couldn't afford a 5 bed, they shouldn't be moving in together.

I know the thread you're talking about OP. I agree that it seems like a pretty flippant and out of touch comment, given that most of us aren't in a position to just acquire a property with another bedroom. But I do wonder if some of the responses were more a reaction to the fact that this is a blended family. There have been a few threads recently about parents moving their children into a shared house where those children will have to face huge disruption to their lives just because their respective parents decide they simply have to be together. I think many people get frustrated by parents putting their own needs above those of their children, so perhaps it's a way of saying that if you're going to move in with someone, your children shouldn't have to 'make do'. They should continue to have the life they have been accustomed to. Not saying whether or not I agree with this, just that it seems to be a common theme on here.

Yeah I agree in theory with that, however on the particular thread that OP is talking about was about 2 families each with a 3 bedroom house and 2 children each moving in together to a 4 bedroom house and making these older teens (a mix of girls and boys which makes it trickier) share rooms.

If they can't afford to keep the children in a similar set up to what they're used to I don't know why they need to move in. They have a good set up already, both families have their own houses and the kids all have their own rooms.

@InBedBy10

I am well aware of the housing crisis as a Londoner and roll my eyes at the horror on MNs over no off street parking, small gardens etc.

But my comment on that thread was in the context of that thread.

...or are able to say "if you can't afford a 5 bed house, then have a think about whether you should be moving in together at this time"

Yes and also ‘why don’t you extend’ always mentioned. Similar on threads about schools it’s always ‘why don’t you go private’