Just buy a 5 bed......

[InBedBy10]

.......This was said repeatedly on another thread, where the OP was trying to figure out bedroom situations with kids and step kids.

Am I the only one who thinks Mumsnet is breathtakingly out of touch? Most people I know have struggled to get a basic 3 bed. Alot cant even get that. Casually telling someone to "just buy a 5 bed" , like its so easy is down right moronic in my view. The housing crisis is well publicised. You cant be that stupid!

Or the hyperbolic, "So what you're saying is..." to which the only response is ever. "No, literally no one has said that."

Well does ‘have fewer children’ work?

In that thread the OP has brought it on herself. Everyone is housed. If they want to move in together they can pause and plan accordingly.

Having said that, I think it helps to be flexible or a bit creative. In my area (diverse housing stock albeit a lot of standard Victorian) you might find a four-bed where one bedroom can be divided into two (small) bedrooms. Or you can move two miles down the road and prices drop substantially. The "we must live here and this is what we can afford" route won't work.

"The median for working-age households across the country is estimated to be just above £35,000, and anything higher than £81,357 puts you in the top 5%" ...from the guardian.

So (if my sketchy maths is correct) according to this, on mumsnet, only 1 in 20 users would be from a high earning household. And yet there are so many completely out of touch posts, it just doesn't add up.
My theory is that a lot of posters on here are playing out their delusional mumsnet persona's online, like modern day Hyacinth Buckets.😆

I know what you mean but I think context is important for this one. It gets bewildering when people keep adding children to the mix to new relationships and then are not able to provide all the existing ones with safe, comfortable conditions. Have you seen the thread a few weeks ago of a teenager who did not have a bedroom, had to sleep in the lounge, and then got told off by the stepmum for having his girlfriend over?
There are many situations in which existing children are not prioritised by anyone in these combined families. It’s all about the new babies and toddlers, and sod the older kids

Yes. The kids are almost always put last in ‘blended families’.

I was talking to my mum about how I was struggling to find a house I could afford to buy that was big enough for me and the now grown kids for £150k, her solution...? Buy 2 houses instead! And showed me a 2 family dwelling that was for sale for £300k.

I don't think it's people being out of touch. It's OPs expecting the impossible. What were people supposed to say? Make them share, buy a bigger house or don't move in together are really the only choices.
Sometimes OPs want the moon on a stick, but they want it for free, next day delivery and for everyone else to make space for it.

They haven’t bought the house yet. This post was the OP trying to work it out before they committed to the move.

People responding to that specific OP on that particular thread weren't suggesting that EVERYONE should buy a 5 bed house but that a 5 bed house was the only reasonable solution to their problem.

That and not moving in together of course.

Can you imagine kids having to share a bedroom? Shudder at the thought. I think a lot of the posts on housing are stealth boasts

Talk about missing the point. Siblings growing up sharing a room - fine.
Forcing teenagers to move in with people they’re not related to and having to give up their private space to do so is completely different.

People on the other thread were mainly pointing out that the only workable solution was to get a 5 bed house, not necessarily suggesting that was an easy thing to do.

But I do think it's not inconceivable to think that two adults who have properties to sell and whose children are nearing adult age (so the parents can be imagined to have been working for 20 years or more) would be able to combine forces and buy a 5 bed house. I'm single but if I had a partner who earned similarly to me and also had a house to sell I'm sure we could get a 5 bed round here. I have £150kish equity in my home and earn £70k - so above average but not silly money. Some people are worse off but a lot of people are in a similar or better position. Middle-aged (ish) people combining to buy a 5 bed isn't the same as a younger person or couple getting straight on the property ladder into one.

Obviously the poster and her partner may be in rented so this wouldn't apply, but that hadn't been clarified last time I was on the thread.

This! It isn't just about sharing rooms, I shared growing up with a sibling as do most it is fine. It is different being forced to move and forced to share because a parent has a new relationship.

They’re not struggling for space though? They currently have two houses and they all have the space they need. They want to downsize and expect their children to make the compromises to allow that. Different if downsizing due to financial pressures but this is a lifestyle choice for the parents.

We know nothing about the property, location or housing market where they live but I would imagine in most areas you could buy a five bed house (maybe with compromise on size/location/stule/amount of work needed) for the cost of two x three beds.

Aside from that, this is not a move that needs to happen, it’s a parental want at the detriment of the children. And the OP wants that to be at the detriment of the step children, not her own.

Context is everything - it’s breathtakingly out of touch if the poster is struggling to purchase a two bed flat, but that poster had seen a 4 bed home they were proposing buying and were selling 2 x 3 bed homes to fund the purchase.

In those circumstances not such a stretch.

Most people can afford to add an additional bedroom if they make compromises elsewhere

These young people haven’t grown up with one another. It’s not just about
“ kids having to share a bedroom”.

I think if the situation relates to someone moving in a partner with kids the suggestion is totally valid. If you cant get a house with enough room for everyone - the answer is simple, dont move your partner in.

I find flippant replies like that about so many highly complicated topics.

I remember my first ever thread asking for advice on how to manage logistics between three adults for the step kids.

I got absolutely roasted with people shouting at me to just move out and get my own place to see if he comes fighting for me. It was utterly insane. The challenges we had faced to find the house we were living in was massive. And if the shoe was on the other foot (I was the parent) and my partner spontaneously moved out as a test I'd never let such a flake near my kids again.

Well that’s one thing but it won’t kill them. If you’re in a position to buy a 5 bedroom house where I live you’re extremely fortunate

I shared in my teens with my sister. It was fine. Wasn't bothered about having my own room

Again, it wasn't about children sharing bedrooms generally.

I personally wouldn't want my children to share so I only had two children other people want more children and so do have their children share but, in the situation that OP was describing, it was just inappropriate.

It was about parents prioritising their own wants over their children's current situation.

The children in question firstly weren't actually children anymore and secondly, are not currently sharing.

It was a situation that two adults wanted to impose on their nearly adult/just adult but still dependent offspring for their own benefit.

So people suggested that when each parent sold their three bedroomed house, they combined funds to buy a 5 bedroomed house rather than a four bedroomed one.

Not that someone just magic up an extra few £££k out of nowhere.

Or this x

This was a blended situation including one daughter, the rest were boys.

2 same sex siblings sharing is common but mixing teen children, different sexes from a blended family isn't wise. I wouldn't put any teen girl in that situation.

In which case they can stay in the 2 x 3-bed houses they’re currently in where everyone has their own room.