Unopened sanitary towel

[Numberblocks10]

Currently got my period. When I got home from work yesterday I dropped my bag by mistake and everything fell out. I put everything back (or so I thought) but then around half an hour later 9yo DS found one of my sanitary towels on the floor, picked it up and asked what it was. Just to clarify, it was unused (obviously) and still in the packet. I must have missed it when I was picking up things from my bag.

DH then shouted at DS to put it down (literally shouted at him) and then shouted at me asking why it was there. I explained to him what happened and he said it’s weird to be leaving things like that lying around.

I asked him to explain why it was “weird” but he couldn’t answer me.

AIBU to feel hurt by this? I don’t understand his reaction.

Yes, he actually shouted at you for daring to have one on show?

I knew a man like this once, his disgust at his wife having periods was one of the first clues he actually hated her.

Tell your husband to get out of the dark ages!

Your son is old enough to know about periods, how is knowing what an unused sanitary towel is going to harm him? They both need to know that periods are a totally normal bodily function for a woman and nothing to be embarrassed about or disgusted by.

I had tampons and sanitary towels in an open basket in my bathroom from when my children were tiny so they were normalised. As they got older, they were just there for people to help themselves. And later I put condoms in there too.

It's 2025. Your DH is still living somehow in the 1950s if his reaction to a period pad on the floor was to shout at your son and you.

Have a chat with your son. He's 9 y.o. and old enough to understand, if you explain it with care, what's menstruation in a woman and why period pads may be an essential in a woman's handbag. I'm sure at his age, he already knows some basics about women's biology, but this is the perfect time to engage in a conversation about women's biology, he'll appreciate when he's older.

As to your DH, the same advice applies. Let it rest for a few days, don't push him into a confrontation/defensive stand, and strike when he's calm. You need to bring this issue in a calm conversation by telling him a period pad in your handbag is essential because you are a woman, and is his response making it weird and a drama shouldn't happen in 2025.

How bizarre! Has your DH ever bought you sanitary products? ‘Please pick up some milk and some tampons on your way home’ sort of thing? Or would that make his penis drop off?

I genuinely think huge numbers of men have zero understanding of what it’s actually like. I think many think pads are ‘just in case’ and most of the blood is somehow voluntarily released into the toilet. I think this feeds in to the idea that it’s a private thing we go off and ‘do’.

The reality of periods (actively bleeding from essentially an open wound whilst continuing our daily lives) is so horrifying to them that they just think ‘nah, it can’t be like that, they’re just being hysterical women. It’s probably more like doing a wee’

Your DH is an idiot in this respect. Children should know about sanitary products etc. in general to take away the taboo around periods etc.. Acting like they are a taboo product, and periods in general are something shameful, perpetuates misogyny. Does he also act this way around toilet paper?

Making a "point" of displaying them and judging others for not doing so is more weird imo. I didn't have tampons etc out on display even when I lived completely alone because I liked a tidy surface. They're not exactly particularly decorative.

Of course there's nothing wrong with boys knowing about sanitary products and ops dh is being ridiculous but equally it's not weird for a 9 year old to not have much idea - I can't remember ever seeing sanitary stuff around the house when I was 9 or being "introduced" to it and I'm female. Some of the posters are being unfair castigating op for not giving her son some sort of in depth discussion.

It's normal in lots of households for anything you do in the toilet to be private - if her ds hasn't seen his mum have a poo since he was old enough to remember/be left alone then its completely normal he hasn't seen her "use" a tampon. Nor is it something that comes up much in normal conversation - do some of you really say "mummy's just off to put a new pad on?"

Pretty limited I'm afraid 😂 it wasn't exactly award-winning (think "mooncup yeah! We all love the mooncup! My mum needs a mooncup" on repeat) but he thought it was hilarious

My son has been 'grabbing me a towel' from the cupboard if I forget since about age 3

Hes now 14 and happily went to the school office a few weeks ago to ask for one for one of his female friends that didn't have a spare.

Your husband is ridiculous and needs to grow up

Refuse to wash his pants and socks anymore and tell him they're disgusting as they're dirty and make him be the only one to empty bins or buy loo roll

Or just tell him to grow the fuck up and get over himself or you'll get over him 🤷

You need to speak to him about this OP. Because it's not a good attitude to have.

I don't think there are huge numbers of men with zero understanding about women's periods. But there are men with anger, misogynistic attitudes, seemingly great partners until a "trigger" exposes their real character.

Dear god, the only thing that is weird, VERY weird, is your husband.

In our family, it can be anyone's job to pick up sanitary products from the shop and they will not and never have been hidden from the view of children as they have grown up. We even have a special pack of san towels in the kitchen for the dog 😅

Is your DH aware it is 2025 and not 1955? He is setting a really bad example to your children on this one.

Odd overreaction from your DH. At 9 both my sons were aware of periods and what sanitary products were. It’s just part of life.

😂😂

Wondering if your DH is connecting periods to sex and doesn't want DS knowing about sex yet, since knowing about periods might lead to questions?

I'm a little surprised that everyone's nine-year-olds know so much about periods and period products! I guess this means they know about sex, too. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but it all seems a little young. But I don't have kids, so what do I know. I do remember that we were more like 11 when these things came up.

This!

Make me laugh out loud. Thank you.

Bloody hell, that's awful.

A decent man wouldn't even care if it was a used towel left by mistake, he would just wrap it up and dispose of it and explain to DS about periods.

Is your husband awful in other ways too?

Periods have nothing to do with sex, why would there be a connection made?

Really good opportunity for a chat with your DS about women and life and stuff.
Your DP sounds like a penis.

Surely your DH has exhibited such Victorian views before?

Custard 🤣

I think you are probably right sadly it is all a mystery 😕

Oh my God, this is so ridiculous by your DH!

Firstly, remind him he wouldn’t exist if us women didn’t have a cycle of reproduction functions! It’s a joint enterprise between men and women!
Secondly, as a PP pointed out, it happens to over 50% of the population, and thirdly - how on earth as he got as far as “making babies” with this silly childish attitude? It’s a sanitary towel.

How did he cope at the birth of DC.?😮
How did he cope at the conception? 🙄

My Ddad brought me up, and talked through all of the period functions, bought my towels etc in a normal manner.
My son asked questions (as they do as youngsters) and got it explained, and is very relaxed around periods and all their associated bits and pieces.

Im sorry, but I would have zero time for this nonsense.

Yep, agree with you