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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unopened sanitary towel

303 replies

Numberblocks10 · 10/10/2025 08:13

Currently got my period. When I got home from work yesterday I dropped my bag by mistake and everything fell out. I put everything back (or so I thought) but then around half an hour later 9yo DS found one of my sanitary towels on the floor, picked it up and asked what it was. Just to clarify, it was unused (obviously) and still in the packet. I must have missed it when I was picking up things from my bag.

DH then shouted at DS to put it down (literally shouted at him) and then shouted at me asking why it was there. I explained to him what happened and he said it’s weird to be leaving things like that lying around.

I asked him to explain why it was “weird” but he couldn’t answer me.

AIBU to feel hurt by this? I don’t understand his reaction.

OP posts:
Freeatlast001 · 10/10/2025 09:33

Very strange. Nobody bats an eyelid in this house when periods or sanitary towels are mentioned. DS13 has known for many years what they are as he has a mother and two older sisters.

AbbeyGrange · 10/10/2025 09:37

The thing is your DH has just made a huge fuss and drawn DS attention to it, if he had just completely ignorned it your DS wouldn't have batted an eyelid and everyone could have gone about their day... your DH is a dick,

GirlonaCloud · 10/10/2025 09:40

Your DH was wrong.
But on the other hand, do all 9 yr old boys know about periods and san pro?

I'm out of touch with what's taught in schools now, but I do know that my son when 9 never saw my san pro (partly as we had 2 bathrooms) but I'm pretty sure he'd not have known anyway.

MrsDoubtfire1 · 10/10/2025 09:41

Why do we pussy foot around men like this? I would have stood up to my full height and told him not to be such a d*! We need to reclaim our land rights.

EasternStandard · 10/10/2025 09:43

Bizarre and damaging to have someone shout over this.

Bloozie · 10/10/2025 09:44

Aw hell no...

You need to get a basket of sanitary towels and tampons if you use them and keep them out on display in the bathroom, and you need to educate your son on what periods are and what having them means, factually and undramatically. I tell my son when I'm on my period. He is sympathetic, not grossed out. If you don't normalise periods, your son will grow up like your husband, scared of fucking sanitary towels and shaming women for a perfectly normal bodily function.

We keep loo roll out because we shit and piss and it's messy. We don't hide loo roll because shit and piss isn't embarrassing. We shit and piss in private and dispose used loo roll hygienically, but we fully acknowledge that everyone shits and pisses every day.

We keep sanitary products out because women bleed and it's messy. We don't hide sanitary products because periods aren't embarrassing. We change them in private and dispose used sanitary products hygienically, but we fully acknowledge that most women bleed every month.

This is a hill I would die on with my husband - he is the one being weird.

PastaAllaNorma · 10/10/2025 09:47

You haven't done the amazing exploding tampon thing with DS yet? It was hard to get mine to stop. They loved making mice out of them.
(See also "how much water on a pad until it bursts" experiment)

Your DH is an idiot.

TappyGilmore · 10/10/2025 09:49

lol this reminds me of my 8-year-old nephew running into my bathroom, seeing a box of tampons, excitedly pointing and yelling “my mum has them too!” and then running off again in the opposite direction. Not sure if he knew or cared what they were.

Andthatrightsoon · 10/10/2025 09:49

My sons cut eye holes in them, colour them in and pretend to be ninja turtles 🤣

BigDeepBreaths · 10/10/2025 09:51

I am so embarrassed for your DH. Its 20 fucking 25.

Take this into your own hands and have a chat with your DS so he is assured its just a normal sanitary product and nothing to be cross/weird about. Make sure he understands your DHs reaction is the not-normal one - you can explain this without revealing your DH to be a giant twat, however tempting that may be.

lifeonmars100 · 10/10/2025 09:51

My towels and tampons were always kept out in the bathroom because I was not ashamed of having periods and I also wanted them within easy reach. This meant my child grew up seeing it as part of life. Your husband is inhibited and needs to grow up. What was his upbringing like to give him this attitude?

TheListThatNeverEnds · 10/10/2025 09:52

My 6yo made up a whole song about my menstrual cup (which he enjoyed singing in public- mortifying) and has asked many many questions about it and periods in general. It's sometimes a bit cringe for me (and frustrating when the qs start just as I'm putting him to bed) but I've always believed in normalising periods for him and his sister, so happy to have the conversations (though I did tell him to just hum his mooncup song please, as we were walking through town at the time 😂). Your DH needs to give his head a wobble and get in the 21st century.

BlueandPinkSwan · 10/10/2025 09:54

Your h needs a verbal slap and told to get HIS weird ideas sorted out and natural bodily functions.

MadisonMarieParksValetta · 10/10/2025 09:55

Because periods are so dirty? Or will the boy turn gay? I'd honestly be fuckin livid at this. My son has known about periods his whole life. Has even seen me change the pads. I hope you don't have a daughter who will think she has to hide her period in her own home.

Digdongdoo · 10/10/2025 09:56

Your DH needs to grow up. Pathetic. Does he think menstruation is catching?
Time for a science lesson for the pair of them.

AhBiscuits · 10/10/2025 09:56

A virtually identical thing happened to me recently, but it was a tampon that I missed when I scooped the contents of my bag up. My 7 year old son asked what it was. My husband looked awkward but said nothing. I told him it was called a tampon, that it's something women need and that he would learn about it at some point. My 9 year old DD was laughing, as she learnt about menstruation at school last term.

Your husband is an idiot.

lifeonmars100 · 10/10/2025 09:57

TheListThatNeverEnds · 10/10/2025 09:52

My 6yo made up a whole song about my menstrual cup (which he enjoyed singing in public- mortifying) and has asked many many questions about it and periods in general. It's sometimes a bit cringe for me (and frustrating when the qs start just as I'm putting him to bed) but I've always believed in normalising periods for him and his sister, so happy to have the conversations (though I did tell him to just hum his mooncup song please, as we were walking through town at the time 😂). Your DH needs to give his head a wobble and get in the 21st century.

I want to read the lyrics to this mooncup song!

Peonyperfection · 10/10/2025 09:58

Very odd. Your son will have classmates having periods very soon, if not already. Let’s hope he’s more mature about it than your husband.

QuickPeachPoet · 10/10/2025 09:58

Your husband is a twat. It's hardly used toilet paper!
At 9 your son should know what periods are even if her doesn't have them, and what these products look like.

TheMasterplan23 · 10/10/2025 09:59

Wow. What a weird reaction.
My DS (15) has grown up seeing tampons/pads in the bathroom and knows it’s a perfectly normal part of life for me and his sisters.
He even went to the shop to buy tampons for his sister a few months ago and thought nothing of it.
I think you need to explain to your DH that his reaction was seriously OTT.

BlueandPinkSwan · 10/10/2025 10:01

MadisonMarieParksValetta · 10/10/2025 09:55

Because periods are so dirty? Or will the boy turn gay? I'd honestly be fuckin livid at this. My son has known about periods his whole life. Has even seen me change the pads. I hope you don't have a daughter who will think she has to hide her period in her own home.

Not sure I would have gone as far as him seeing the pad being changed though, unless it was unavoidable.🤔
My kids knew from a very young age about periods due to my things in the bathroom. 2nd he was a bit prudish about "women's things" being on show😃

Rosebold · 10/10/2025 10:03

Just tell your son what it is. Your husband's reaction is weird. Does he also make you go and live in a hut at the bottom of the garden when you're on your period because you are unclean?

JNicholson · 10/10/2025 10:05

Maybe point out to both of them that if you didn’t get periods, your DS would not exist.

DaisyDoodler · 10/10/2025 10:06

I keep my tampons and sanitary towels in all 3 of the bathrooms in my house. My 8 year old son knows very age appropriately that they are just something that women need to use at certain times of the month. He hasn’t asked and doesn’t need to know any more details than that, but they are certainly nothing to be hidden or embarrassed about and nothing that someone should be shouting at to be put down. Your husband has big issues here. I would be talking to him about his reaction as he will cause your son to have issues as he gets older and one day your son may have a relationship with a girl/ woman who (shock horror) may need to use one of these kinds of products. I would be sooooo annoyed at your DH if he gave me that kind of reaction. Grow up man ffs !!!

BeLilacSloth · 10/10/2025 10:07

My sanitary towels are kept on a shelf in full view in the bathroom, I want my kids to know that periods are completely normal and DH doesn’t care and would never comment on it. Your DH needs to fucking grow up, periods are normal, not discusting.