Unopened sanitary towel

[Numberblocks10]

Currently got my period. When I got home from work yesterday I dropped my bag by mistake and everything fell out. I put everything back (or so I thought) but then around half an hour later 9yo DS found one of my sanitary towels on the floor, picked it up and asked what it was. Just to clarify, it was unused (obviously) and still in the packet. I must have missed it when I was picking up things from my bag.

DH then shouted at DS to put it down (literally shouted at him) and then shouted at me asking why it was there. I explained to him what happened and he said it’s weird to be leaving things like that lying around.

I asked him to explain why it was “weird” but he couldn’t answer me.

AIBU to feel hurt by this? I don’t understand his reaction.

Some men are SO weird about anything to do with periods. My exH had many faults,but he would buy my tampons for me,without comment.

Your DH has got issues. I think I’d open the towel up to show him how it works and use it as a chance to explain all about periods and different sanpro so he hears it from someone he trusts to tell him the truth, rather than hearing half truths and myths from other kids, or before he starts to think that there’s something disgusting about it from your DH. Take the opportunity to teach him about female biology (it has truly stunned me over the years how many men think that women wee from their vaginas or that they can just ‘hold on’ to a period until it’s convenient) and reassure him that if he grows up to have a girlfriend, she’ll have them and if he has a daughter, she’ll have them too and it’s all perfectly normal, even if his dad does get a bit silly about it sometimes.

And when you’ve done that, go and read the riot act to your DH, tell him he has issues that you are not going to let him pass onto your DS and if he ever reacts like that again, you will make sanitary towel bunting and hang it around the house the next time you have visitors come over, and he can explain to them it’s because he’s frightened of unused san pro.

Your husband is the weird one.
If toilet paper used for wiping his ass is fine to be out in the open, there's no reason why pads should be any different.
Tbh I'm also surprised your son doesn't know what pads are - has he never come across them in the bathroom or in the supermarket shopping bag?

Mine have done so many times.

How dare you not hide your dirty shame

For those who are saying they are surprised that DS doesn’t know what sanitary towels are, I’m not hiding them from him. It’s just never come up in conversation. He knows what periods are but my sanitary towels are kept in the bathroom cupboard, he’s never seen me change one, he’s never asked what they are when we’ve been shopping. I don’t really understand what’s so surprising🤷🏻‍♀️

Has your husband apologised yet?

He’s never opened the bathroom cupboard? Yes, that is surprising.

Because it’s part of the sex ed and puberty chat.

I’ve got two boys. When I had the chats with them, I showed them sanitary products and explained how girls use them. Don’t you want your boys to actually be educated and understanding around this stuff? That’s your job.

I’m in no rush to hold a sanitary towel/tampon up to my 9yo DS and explain what it is and how it’s used. Of course I’ll be in the minority but🤷🏻‍♀️

Why? At what age are you planning on doing it? When would you show him if he were a girl?

How do you think men with your DH’s weird hangups around this are created?! By parents like you two. Stop being so weird about menstruation.

What year is he in? Boys and girls at our school learn about menstruation and are shown period products in year 4.

Parents like me? What because I haven’t yet had a conversation with DS about what sanitary products are. Ok🤣 He’s 9. His head isn’t going to fall off if I don’t tell him right away.

Has he not been in the bathroom at the same time as you? You must have been to the loo in front of him when he was little?

My son, at about 3, presented me with a tampon and asked me if I wanted to ‘put it up my willy’. 😆

Parents like the two of you, yes. For the reasons that have been quite comprehensively detailed in over 200 comments.

Answer the questions.

• Why are you ‘in no rush to hold a sanitary towel/tampon up to my 9yo DS and explain what it is and how it’s used’? Is his head going to fall off if you do?
• At what age are you planning on doing it?
• When would you show him if he were a girl?

And an additional question. Have you properly addressed with your husband how utterly ridiculous and offensive his reaction was?

He’s also apparently never opened the bathroom cabinet. 🙃

No because it’s high up 🙃

Why not? Girls at that age know. And it’s nothing different from showing a child how toilet paper works. Or do you view it as something dirty and seedy?

We really need to raise a generation of boys who see this as an entirely normal, everyday part of life and these products the same as face wash and toilet paper; just normal toiletries.

The issue here is OPs DH being ridiculous about an unopened sanitary towel being in plain sight, not whether OP should be explaining everything to her 9 yr old DS.

DH could have said “oh that’s one of your mums sanitary towels, have they spoken to you about periods at school yet?”, rather than behaving like a 9 yr old boy himself.

What is taboo or uncomfortable about a child seeing a sanitary towel? I'm really confused. My sons have known about periods and sanitary products since they were old enough to follow me into the bathroom as toddlers 🤷‍♀️ how on earth have you managed to make it a big deal?

It’s both, imo. From the initial post, her DH was clearly being ridiculous. But her follow up comments indicate that she’s got some problematic attitudes around this, as well.

She obviously doesn’t need to have explained everything to a 9 year old. But I’m in no rush to hold a sanitary towel/tampon up to my 9yo DS and explain what it is and how it’s used.

Why?

Weird reaction from DH. All mine know about tampons etc from seeing them in the bathroom. DC2 said she found a little mouse!

So why are you surprised about your husband’s reaction? How is what you’re doing any different? And your DH is acting like it’s something disgusting and shameful, while you’re keeping it all quiet and hidden away. He’s 9. You’re not sitting him down and explaining all the different types of porn available on line ffs. He’s of an age where he should have some idea about the basic differences between male and female bodies.

What’s with all the pile on?! The DH is clearly a dick. However I fail to see how OP not having got around to showing her 9 year old son what a sanitary towel looks like in any way reflects badly on her. It’s not something he actually needs to know right now. The dropped sanitary towel would have been a good moment to explain, except that her DH was so massively unreasonable she couldn’t. At no point has OP ever indicated she has a problem with her son knowing about this, but it’s not necessary to prioritise showing sanity products to a boy. How did we get from OP having a DH problem to suddenly accusing her of being a problem? WTF?!

With two normal adults as parents who are open and relaxed about the sex and puppetry topic then no, OP wouldn’t need to be quite so “on it” with educating him. But with with a dad like the one this boy has… the OP is going to need to be very proactive if she wants to avoid raising a boy with his father’s misogynistic attitude.

Erm… you seem to be saying that, because her DH is a prick, OP should have made sure her son had seen an actual sanitary towel in real life by the age of nine? I just don’t get it.

I can’t see anything in OP’s posts to suggest she is not raising her son with an open and normal relaxed attitude to sex and puberty. Her DH is clearly unhinged, but that is not her fault. I just see a load of people trying to blame OP for her husband’s attitude. What exactly has OP said to suggest she shares her husband’s views?