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AIBU?

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Original poster

Unopened sanitary towel

303 replies

Numberblocks10 · 10/10/2025 08:13

Currently got my period. When I got home from work yesterday I dropped my bag by mistake and everything fell out. I put everything back (or so I thought) but then around half an hour later 9yo DS found one of my sanitary towels on the floor, picked it up and asked what it was. Just to clarify, it was unused (obviously) and still in the packet. I must have missed it when I was picking up things from my bag.

DH then shouted at DS to put it down (literally shouted at him) and then shouted at me asking why it was there. I explained to him what happened and he said it’s weird to be leaving things like that lying around.

I asked him to explain why it was “weird” but he couldn’t answer me.

AIBU to feel hurt by this? I don’t understand his reaction.

OP posts:
YouMightLikeCats · 10/10/2025 08:57

Sagaciously · 10/10/2025 08:34

Aged 9, why has he not seen period products until now? I’ve always made a point of leaning tampon boxes out in the bathroom.

Your husband sounds incredibly old fashioned.

My kids haven't seen them because I'm on contraception that means I hardly ever get a period. It's not that unusual to not have to think about them (I find it liberating! )

JadeVS72 · 10/10/2025 08:58

Have a chat with your DH when everyone is calm and kids aren't around. He was likely brought up in a household with this attitude and since you don't 'flaunt' your menstruation this weird upbringing hasn't come up. Show him how inert pads are and maybe suggest it would be good for the boys to see them out so they are normalised. I have a 10 year old girl and so make sure there's a whole selection out in the downstairs bathroom at all times in case a friend of hers gets their period and doesn't want to talk to me about it. When DH has tried to tidy these away I have explained the reasoning which he is cool with. You don't want your boys retaining the same attitude in future.

muddlingthrou · 10/10/2025 08:59

Your DH is going to pass on his own baggage

JadeVS72 · 10/10/2025 09:00

YouMightLikeCats · 10/10/2025 08:57

My kids haven't seen them because I'm on contraception that means I hardly ever get a period. It's not that unusual to not have to think about them (I find it liberating! )

Show quote history

Yeah same here, but now DD is a bit older I have bought in packs of the disposable stuff so we're ready if anything happens. Should also think about carrying some around with me/her as I never have even a tampon in my purse when someone asks me!

Blackoutbeans · 10/10/2025 09:04

Your husband is a twat. Is he going around Supermarkets and Chemists and asking them to hide sanitary products too?

You should have a chat with your son about female reproductive health and make sure he understands that the 'evil' products are not a big deal. Otherwise he might take up after his dad, after seeing such a big reaction from him.

ClaredeBear · 10/10/2025 09:06

Hopefully you can have a chat with your son to nip any warped ideas in the bud! For contrast, my husband is phoning the GP today to book my daughter in for a smear (she’s been waiting for ages and they phoned while she’s away so she asked us to do this), so I don’t think this is a “normal” reaction and I wonder if your husband panicked at the thought of having a conversation he was ill prepared for.

FirstCuppa · 10/10/2025 09:06

Fun fact about tampons, they only tested them with actual human blood in 2023. Yup, Barbie movie came out the same year.

Sometimes it really shows that men are in charge of the world.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/10/2025 09:06

No different to a packet of tissues!

Both will come to have bodily fluids on them, but before they have, they’re not disgusting in any way.

We keep sanitary towels visibly next to the toilet ( there’s a little shelving unit there).

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/10/2025 09:08

It is surprising for a 9 yo not to have seen sanitary towels before though - does he never see you unpack the shopping?

Notagain75 · 10/10/2025 09:09

Very strange behaviour from your husband and if your son is constantly exposed to this behaviour he will grow up the same way thinking a natural body funathon is dirty and embarrassing

Neemie · 10/10/2025 09:13

Does your DH also use toilet roll covers in case the sight of the loo roll upsets anyone?

AgDulAmach · 10/10/2025 09:13

I was a teen in the 90s (Ireland) and I remember a friend saying that her mother told her to hide her sanitary towels because her brothers shouldn't see them. I had two sisters so there was no chance of anything being hidden in my house, so it really shocked me, the idea that you had to somehow shield men from seeing period products as though they would somehow hurt them.

wildfellhall · 10/10/2025 09:15

Anyone would be hurt OP to be shamed for simply being female standing in front of the child you carried owing to that miracle of monthly periods!

This sounds like he’s grown up with simple misogyny and hasn’t been challenged about it or had the nouse to challenge himself.
I don’t think this is rare. It takes maturity to evolve and a lot of people just assume they already know everything I guess?

thegifttaegieus · 10/10/2025 09:16

My son followed me into the loo when he was about 6, I was already sitting down, he saw a smear of blood on my knickers that were at my ankles and asked why I was bleeding. I told him, quite calmly, that women have a thing called a period every month, I wasn't hurt and it was no big deal and I'd explain it to him when he was older.

Because it's a perfectly fucking natural function that boys should know about too.

You DH sounds fucking nuts.

AgDulAmach · 10/10/2025 09:16

A few years ago I was going through my DH's backpack (he always carries a backpack, he likes to be prepared for anything!) and I found a pad. I asked him why it was there and he said 'I always carry one in case you need it.' I was so touched I may have cried a little. For years and years he had always made sure to have a pad in case I might get caught short and I never knew. That's what a real DH looks like.

Dancingsquirrels · 10/10/2025 09:20

AgDulAmach · 10/10/2025 09:16

A few years ago I was going through my DH's backpack (he always carries a backpack, he likes to be prepared for anything!) and I found a pad. I asked him why it was there and he said 'I always carry one in case you need it.' I was so touched I may have cried a little. For years and years he had always made sure to have a pad in case I might get caught short and I never knew. That's what a real DH looks like.

How cute!

Kbroughton · 10/10/2025 09:22

My cat came into the living room with an (unopened) tampon in it's mouth at the weekend. No one was particularly embarrassed or yucked out by it. Your DH is promoting misogyny and I would be worried about that.

YouMightLikeCats · 10/10/2025 09:24

Notagain75 · 10/10/2025 09:09

Very strange behaviour from your husband and if your son is constantly exposed to this behaviour he will grow up the same way thinking a natural body funathon is dirty and embarrassing

Sorry but that typo cracked me up!

"Monthly funathon" is a better euphemism than "Aunt Flo" imo!

Toofficeornot · 10/10/2025 09:25

Its literally a tissue. He is an idiot. Its the same as if a toilet roll or bag of cotton wool fell on the floor.

Poodlelove · 10/10/2025 09:27

Did your husband think it was a used one ?
That is a very strange reaction for a grown man , how old is he ?

Hopefully he can explain , once he has calmed down and apologise.

totalrocket · 10/10/2025 09:27

You need to start leaving them out and tell your immature husband it’s so your son doesn’t grow up stunted like him.

dumberthanaboxofrocks · 10/10/2025 09:28

My DD once phoned and asked her brother to go to the chemist for her on his way home and they ended up doing an argumentative video call of the shelves - ‘NO! GREEN! WITH WINGS!’ 😂 He said the woman at the till then praised him for being kind to his sister (guffaw). Your DH sounds like he’s maybe had a throwback to his own repressed upbringing? My dad was weird about wrapped used towels in the bin. Bit depressing.

Loloj · 10/10/2025 09:29

Your husband is a knob to have had that reaction.

Although this has reminded me of a time in Superdrug when my son was little (about 4 years old) - he grabbed a packet of sanitary towels off the shelf and shouted “Mummy do you need to buy some more of these to put in you knickers?!”

My point being that this was totallly normal for my 4 year old son and it shouldn’t be taboo in the slightest.

GiantTeddyIsTired · 10/10/2025 09:30

That's a weird over-reaction - it's no worse than a plaster!

I've always been totally open about it with my sons. In fact the other day DS said there was a bit of blood in the toilet after his poo, and actually double checked first that it wasn't left over from me (our flush isn't always great) before he worried that it was him. Totally matter of fact about it all, no disgust or panic, just logical for him to check that the blood was him first (which yes, we then discussed too!)

allmymonkeys · 10/10/2025 09:33

What a bizarre reaction. What on earth does your DH do when tv advertisements come on, cover DS's eyes and ears? Send him out of the room?

I think this might be worth thrashing out with DH. DS is nine, he will soon be engaging in personal whatever it is they call it now education, and it will be helpful if DH adopts a less hysterical and more adult approach to the subject matter.

But perhaps DH finds menstruation terrifying as well as distasteful - he wouldn't be alone. I should start by saying "I had no idea you had such strong feelings about all this..." and see if you can identify what his problem is.