Unopened sanitary towel

[Numberblocks10]

Currently got my period. When I got home from work yesterday I dropped my bag by mistake and everything fell out. I put everything back (or so I thought) but then around half an hour later 9yo DS found one of my sanitary towels on the floor, picked it up and asked what it was. Just to clarify, it was unused (obviously) and still in the packet. I must have missed it when I was picking up things from my bag.

DH then shouted at DS to put it down (literally shouted at him) and then shouted at me asking why it was there. I explained to him what happened and he said it’s weird to be leaving things like that lying around.

I asked him to explain why it was “weird” but he couldn’t answer me.

AIBU to feel hurt by this? I don’t understand his reaction.

Your DH is being weird. He’s allowed to be icked out by things for no reason privately but he should be adult enough to understand it’s weird and he has a responsibility to try and understand why it provokes this reaction in him and to overcome it and not let it affect how he treats his partner or models behaviour to his kids. Back in the late 90s/early 00s my dad had no bother picking up towels or tampons for my mum and me despite having a childhood with no maternal love or input, then joining the army as a child himself and spending the next 25 years in a lads lads lads culture. My 8 year old boy gets embarrassed easily but it’s our job to have awkward conversations and model the behaviour we want reflected back. He’s doing you and your child a huge disservice.

Good grief, is your husband frightened of them?! It sounds like it!

He'd have been horrified by my casual explanation to my boys about why there was sometimes blood left at the bottom of the loo after emptying my mooncup 😂.

My husband wasn't. But then he's not frit!

Well of course they are to do with sex! They're a big part of the reproductive system! We have them in order to help us get pregnant, and sex is how we get pregnant! A kid might quite understandably ask "Why do women have periods?" which would lead to the sex conversation, if the answerer was being honest.

You are not being unreasonable to feel hurt by DH shouting. I cannot believe what I’ve read in your post to be completely honest.
I hope DH apologises, & the rest of your day is more normal 🙂.

Actual periods are not related to sex in the same way urinating isnt related to sex!

Its very easy to explain it as just a body function to a child if youre not ready to have the sex conversation!

Just liken it to urinating, poo etc - bodies way of getting rid of something it doesn't need!

no you are not unreasonable - DH really is. Agree with other responses that your 9 year old needs to know about periods before it becomes weird for him too

You DH has an issue, I would definitely challenge him.
Nowadays kids learn about all that around 9-10 at school anyway, I remember DS coming home and asking if I was on my period and if I had pads in the house.

I wouldn’t be having my husband shout at me in my own home full stop. Let alone because a perfectly normal item of hygiene equipment had fallen out of my bag. I’d be asking why he thought my body’s natural process, part of what gave him that very son, was so weird.

Then I’d probably mock him for being a pathetic wimp who is scared of sanitary towels. That’s just me.

What a weirdo, how on earth did he manage to have sex?

Mortifying for a grown man with a wife and children to be like this. Ironically I have a wife and 2 daughters but work in a really male dominated industry where we do work trips together, a couple of my close male friends are completely comfortable and respectful about period issues so I find it absolutely wild a man can be so pathetic about his own wife.

He's letting his misogyny show.

I'd be sitting DH and DS down this evening for a talk about periods, including products women can use and how to help when your gf/friend is on her period.

Please do not let DS grow up to be as stupid as your DH.

OP has already said he does.

He sounds a bit mad. Does he adhere to some religion that considers menstruating women unclean?

Come on, that's a ridiculous standpoint.
Women have blood every month.
People donate blood all the time.
We tested viagra fine enough.

The op is clearly using them though.

Also mum to a 9yo DS. Said 9yo sees my unused sanitary towels on the cupboard behind the toilet every month. My husband and teenage DS’ also see them on a monthly basis. I won’t hide them when I need quick access to them. They’re in the cupboard for the other 3 weeks of the month.
I have absolutely no idea why a grown man would react like that, it’s bloody weird! Has he reacted like this about other non issues before?

Knowing that the KS2 talk on reproductive matters is looming, I explained in basic terms about periods, sex etc to my kids around that age. Just as well because my youngest started her periods at 10. They start talking amongst their friends at school around 9 or 10, and it can be difficult for kids to process body changes if they don't have the right information. Puberty starts earlier these days than it used to, typically. If you explain to your child, then s/he can educate the 'big kid' in the household who seems to hold attitudes about basic bodily functions that are several centuries out of date.

One of my lads then age 7. 32 years ago said a friend ( a girl) upset him and said “ you don’t know what a period is !” … so hubby explained ( I was out at the time ) sensitively and not in too much detail what they were etc … he was so happy he knew 😆 told his girl friends he knew what they were .. never mentioned it again to us … so best explain if she’s curious but you don’t have to give too much detail for now …

🤣🤣🤣

Not to derail the thread but I had a male flatmate like this. He didn't want to pop to the corner shop to buy toilet roll because he was worried they thought he might need a poo. I laughed at the time. Mainly because we were out of it, and he did need a poo, so he had to overcome his fear and go get some himself.

With my toddler, I called them Mummy's nappies when he was really small and asked me what they were. He was happy with that description and doesn't bat an eyelid. He's bit too young to go into it further but I'll update the terminology as and when. Would hate to think picking one up is a shout able offense for anyone

I remember my ex husband freaking out because I'd left an unused sanitary towel on the bed. 🙄 Absolute nonsense.

Your husband is a twat. But it's not entirely his fault.

He was raised by a generation that felt like it should shame women for the entire process that brought them to be on this earth. Please break the fucking cycle.

My small son has been known to hand me a sanitary towel (in package) and tell me "mummy you need this in your pants". I'll get other thing wrong, but my sons won't ever be confused about literally the most natural thing in the world, and my daughter will never feel shame that their body does it.

Jesus OP, you need to address this before your DS and his (female) friends hit puberty, so your DS doesn't end up like his father. My 3 year old calls my pads "Mummy's nappies" (explanations had to relate back to something he understands at this age!) and knows ladies have a period each month. It is entirely normalised in our house, and discussions include DH and his 6 yr old sister, so they both know it is normal and not something to be disgusted or afraid of.

Periods are a good thing,
They show your body is working, they show your body is healthy, they help protect your bones, your skin, your heart. Above all they are natural. OK they are messy and can hurt, but the positive message should be given at what a wonder they are as an adult woman.

NOTHING to be ashamed of, in fact the opposite. I wish I still had mine as I wouldn't be a crazy old menopausal grumpy woman 😂