To ask DH to wash his hands?

[SENSummer]

Ok, so I’m totally willing to be told IABU maybe I am, looking for some perspective.

I’m an emetophobe and one of my two small kids is disabled so I’m even more aware of cleanliness and germs. We get ill a lot. More than you would expect in my opinion.

DH is a hospital doctor. He works in the hospital all day. I’m often upstairs with the kids doing bedtime when he comes in so don’t observe his routine but tonight I was downstairs and noticed he didn’t wash his hands when he got home. Just wanted through the door and started shoving his hands into the bread bag to make toast and touching loads of fruit in the fruit bowl…etc

I asked if he’d washed his hands. He said yes, earlier in the day before he left work. I was a bit taken a back. I asked if he would mind washing his hands when he comes into the house on a night due to him being in the hospital all day. Both me and the kids wash our hands as soon as we come in from school or activities. It’s not an excessive amount but just seems a reasonable precaution to me.

DH hit the roof and made it clear I was being completely and utterly unreasonable and reminded me firmly that he knows better in these matters than I do.

So I put it to you oh wise MN’s… was I being unreasonable to ask DH to wash his hands?

Thing is, it’s not scary, because you acknowledge the fact and then put something in place to mitigate it. Like washing your hands. So it’s not scary and also not dangerous.

It’s a shame you try to pathologise other people with anxiety, but I think you should work on yourself. Pathogens exist. And ignoring them may make YOU feel safer - but that is really just your own anxiety. Because when you acknowledge you live with this risk, you feel sacred, and so your brain feels safer when you ignore the risks and make other people to be mad.

In both scenarios the risk is the same. But you make it more dangerous for yourself in burying your head in the sand.

So haha you have totally had Covid but just in denial 😂😂

It’s not irrelevant. You claim something.

And you don’t need symptoms at initial infection for the virus to do long term damage. (And damage is cumulative with each infection).

But you don’t care about that, so I doesn’t matter, so you don’t need to say “I’ve never had covid” 🙃

And getting sick with anything, does not build an immune system. You are speaking of the “old friends” or “hygiene hypothesis”. And it doesn’t include pathogenic microbes.

You carry on washing your hands and being anxious and arguing.

I'll carry on as I am, and not getting sick (:

I don't wash my hands every time I enter the house. I think I wash them before making food but tbh I can't say that's always true either. Haven't been sick in years.. I guess it's a personal choice. But given your partner works in a hospital, yeah I probably would feel differently. Well possibly

In the pandemic we had to wear masks and use hand sanitisers that were really bad for our skins. I'll be damned if I'm doing that outside of the pandemic.

Wow. What a complete waste of time & energy

Wow. I had no idea people lived like this!!! Crazy!!

I dont wash my hands when i get home (i dont work in a hospital) but i always wash them before I eat or handle food, thats just basic hygiene. I am never sick.

What? So everyone strips to their underwear as soon as they enter the house and the clothes get hung in the garage if they aren't washed immediately? What about if you come home and go back out again? Are you doing this several times a day? What about visitors, do they have to multiple changes of clothes to ensure they are compliant?

It's got to be a wind up, surely

OP, is your DH aware of the research that shows that regular use of anti bacterial gel/hand sanitiser actually ends up increasing the growth of bad bacteria on the skin? Sterilising the hands for hospital purposes may well have the same effect. I think he should definitely wash his hands when he comes home.

I am amazed at the low hygiene standards that some people have. Regular hand washing is important, especially when you get home after being in contact with all sorts outside. I still remember the studies done on bar snacks in pubs - the amount of faecal matter and other disgusting things found in the peanuts because people put their dirty hands in them was shocking.

Public transport are the same.
My children invariably come in from public transport hungry and go straight for food.
It is so important that they wash their hands as they come in the back door.
This is why many have loo close to the back door of a house.

They strip off, hang their clothes in the integral garage, don a disposable boiler suit supplied by the OP and sit on a plastic covered sofa!

He works in a hospital! So no, she isnt being unreasonable what so ever. They also have a disabled child and another child to protect so actually, he should know better!

Cultural probably. There was an article in the Guardian where one in the couple wanted this. Part of a series they have where people complain about their partner/housemate's habits.

Yanbu at all op, I'm not surprised so many on here don't agree though, a sizeable proportion of people don't wash their hands even after going to the toilet, there's probably a fair amount of people who just don't wash their hands at all 🤢