To ask DH to wash his hands?

[SENSummer]

Ok, so I’m totally willing to be told IABU maybe I am, looking for some perspective.

I’m an emetophobe and one of my two small kids is disabled so I’m even more aware of cleanliness and germs. We get ill a lot. More than you would expect in my opinion.

DH is a hospital doctor. He works in the hospital all day. I’m often upstairs with the kids doing bedtime when he comes in so don’t observe his routine but tonight I was downstairs and noticed he didn’t wash his hands when he got home. Just wanted through the door and started shoving his hands into the bread bag to make toast and touching loads of fruit in the fruit bowl…etc

I asked if he’d washed his hands. He said yes, earlier in the day before he left work. I was a bit taken a back. I asked if he would mind washing his hands when he comes into the house on a night due to him being in the hospital all day. Both me and the kids wash our hands as soon as we come in from school or activities. It’s not an excessive amount but just seems a reasonable precaution to me.

DH hit the roof and made it clear I was being completely and utterly unreasonable and reminded me firmly that he knows better in these matters than I do.

So I put it to you oh wise MN’s… was I being unreasonable to ask DH to wash his hands?

WTF? Dermatitis is not a 'dumb excuse'.

And yet the world is still turning, so it's clearly not as essential as people are trying to make out.

Another vote for washing your hands as soon as you come into your home, basic hygiene. Same with shoes off

I only wash my hands when I’ve done a poo and that’s it

I'm so shocked and how many people don't wash their hands when they get home. But even more that people don't wash hands before touching communal food!

I thought doctors would have better infection control practices.

Doctors are among the worst culprits!

How do people with long nails maintain toilet and food hygiene ? Certainly wouldn’t want them preparing my food! Often wonder how those working in care homes with ridiculously long nails avoid scratching residents when bathing them, pressure area care etc. They must have a special knack!

I got into the habit of washing my hands when i come in from outside during covid, and because i travel by public transport. The amount of colds etc ive caught has hugely gone down. I take my coat off, put my bags down and go to the bathroom.
Dont let him gaslight you that he knows better. This is basic hygiene.

I wash them again before cooking.

He washed them earlier in the day before he left work? So he didn't touch anything after then? YANBU!

He must have touched things. A lift button, a handrail on a staircase, his bag, car keys, door handle, steering wheel, anything on public transport!

I don't work in a medical setting - desk job commuting to London on the train.

I don't always wash my hands the moment I walk through the door - I may go and get changed, check the post etc first.

I DO then wash my hands when I go into the kitchen and start preparing anything for me or others whether that's a full meal or a drink or anything in between. I would ABSOLUTELY wash my hands before sticking them in a communal loaf of bread!!

Wasn’t it nhs advice during the pandemic to wash your hands as soon as you get home? I appreciate the pandemic was a long time ago, but it surely indicates that advice has some merit considering it was endorsed by his very employer. He’s acting as if, you’re imagining the benefit.

But yet the world still turns. People come home everyday, don't wash their hands and make a snack or grab a drink or (gasp) prepare dinner, and they don't get sick.

Tell that to the enormous number of people who get "hospital aquired infections" in hospitals etc!

So he teleported himself from the washbasin in the hospital to his home kitchen then if he touched nothing on the way!!

Is he not saying though that he washes them before he leaves work? If he's doing that right at the end of the day (and in a hospital sense ie using anti bac soap) then surely he is already washing all of that off? Depends if he then drives or take public transport but surely the hospital aspect isn't relevant if he is washing before leaving?

I'm 60, wash my hands after using the loo, before prepping food and obviously in the shower. Other than that wouldn't think of it. I'm perfectly healthy, take no medication, have never had any D&V bugs. I've also brought up a disabled child into adulthood. Maybe your lifestyle is impacting on the illnesses in your household?

Except he will be touching things as he leaves the hospital, i.e. door handles, lift buttons, etc., so he'll still be picking up the germs of all the ill and unhealthy people in the hospital!

this is a poor argument. Firstly, patients might “acquire” illnesses that hospitals can’t avoid such as airborne viral illnesses spreading given the higher amount of ill people in close proximity including visitors, & healthcare being free/mandatory to access. People who are visiting an unwell relative in hospital aren’t going to stay home if they have a cold for example. But that has nothing to do with whether people wash their hands or not.

conversely, a doctor at a hospital is more likely to see “valid” illnesses caused by underlying conditions, injury, relevant medical history etc as opposed to conditions caused by not washing hands in particular. They likely aren’t going to see many people whose illness can be attributed to that, so I understand OP’s husband’s general point.

Plus there’s a range of factors that make someone more susceptible to getting illnesses, an unwell obese person is going to be more likely to be unwell due to their excess weight than not washing hands for example.

Did you sleep right the way through ALL of the Covid advice?? FFS even Boris got it!

@SENSummer

I don't think its unreasonable to ask him to wash his hands when he gets home & especially before touching food.

However, if he's washing his hands (as you said he was) before he leaves work (& he washes them thoroughly) where he works is really completely irrelevant.

I have to admit that I became somewhat complacent while the Covid rate was low, but due to it shooting up recently I've become more diligent again. (& yes. I'm aware other bugs/virus are available )

Well, unless he floats home touching nothing, whatever he's touched on the journey home....

plus, so what, 2-3 minutes washing & drying his hands properly isn't exactly a hardship.

if he lived here, he'd be going straight into the shower & putting home clothes on & the work clothes in the washing machine.

The amount of emetophobics on MN is crazy. That being said he should just wash his hands when he comes home, it's not exactly a massive inconvenience.

Genuine question. Do you ask visitors to wash their hands?

I did when it seemed acceptable when Covid was at the forefront of everyones mind, but now I'd feel very uncomfortable asking.

What?
It's basic hygiene

Oh wow I had to check the username as I wondered if I had posted this in a sleep deprived state…

I’m an emetophobe and husband is a hospital doctor (I was a hospital doctor too but now at home with our autistic son!).

My husband was not the type to wash his hands coming home from work. He is the type to walk into a staff room and scoff whatever food is in there without thinking of washing his hands, he would chew on his pen whilst writing in notes etc (yes yes this is unhygienic I agree). Anyway, I’ve successfully hassled him enough over our marriage to wash his hands WHENEVER he comes home - whether he’s been at work or Aldi or whatever. I just think that’s common sense. It’s now a habit for him. I can hear that he’s doing it when he comes home late at night even when he thinks I’m asleep.

basically YANBU. It’s common sense, he’s at bigger risk of bringing home germs, if your family gets unwell it’s more inconvenient due to your emetophobia and your disabled child, and it’s also inconvenient to his workplace if he gets unwell - leaving his colleagues and patients in the lurch.