To ask DH to wash his hands?

[SENSummer]

Ok, so I’m totally willing to be told IABU maybe I am, looking for some perspective.

I’m an emetophobe and one of my two small kids is disabled so I’m even more aware of cleanliness and germs. We get ill a lot. More than you would expect in my opinion.

DH is a hospital doctor. He works in the hospital all day. I’m often upstairs with the kids doing bedtime when he comes in so don’t observe his routine but tonight I was downstairs and noticed he didn’t wash his hands when he got home. Just wanted through the door and started shoving his hands into the bread bag to make toast and touching loads of fruit in the fruit bowl…etc

I asked if he’d washed his hands. He said yes, earlier in the day before he left work. I was a bit taken a back. I asked if he would mind washing his hands when he comes into the house on a night due to him being in the hospital all day. Both me and the kids wash our hands as soon as we come in from school or activities. It’s not an excessive amount but just seems a reasonable precaution to me.

DH hit the roof and made it clear I was being completely and utterly unreasonable and reminded me firmly that he knows better in these matters than I do.

So I put it to you oh wise MN’s… was I being unreasonable to ask DH to wash his hands?

Is it? News to me.

@SENSummer I can appreciate your fears about this but I think overall YABU.

He’s travelled home from work - very few viruses can survive on skin for more than an hour or two. Even if he did wash his hands, he will presumably go on to maybe change his clothes, remove his shoes etc which would then potentially re-contaminate him.

I guess it’s one of those things that people place a lot of emphasis on but which doesn’t really make you safer. Much much much more important for him to wash his hands before handling food though.

It’s really not ‘excessive hygiene’ to wash your hands when arriving home.

As long as you wash your hands after going to the loo or preparing food I don't see the point in washing hands all the time. It's not as though you're going to start sucking your thumb, is it? (If you do, then wash first).

Hand washing is the single most effective way to prevent the spread of infections.

Link

It also goes on to say when hands should be washed.

OP and her child have had numerous infections. Her husband works in a hospital with sick people, but doesn't practice the most basic infection control technique, hand washing, before he's handling food. He's cross contaminating their home with pathogens from the hospital. And he's bitching that she wants him to wash his hands before food handling.

Same.
Also NHS clinician.
I've been washing my hands all day... there is no need to wash your hands when you walk through the door just 'because'.
Unless you've been juggling dog shit on your way home.

Same. I rarely get colds or stomach bugs.
All the excess hand washing and focus on sterility seems to be correlated with an increase in allergies and susceptibility to infections. I am not advocating for never washing hands, but I am not convinced that it is needed nearly as often as some seem to.

We always wash our hands when we come in. I change the kitchen hand towel every day, some days twice. We live on a livestock farm, nothing is pristine but hand washing is basic hygiene.

We always wash our hands when we return to the house. It's not that I have some deep-seated fear of germs or whatever. That was just the way I was raised and it does cut down the risk of getting sick. A good trick for helping dry sore hands is to slather them in vaseline - don't skimp - put on some disposable rubber gloves and marinade overnight. The next day the vaseline will have disappeared and you have wonderfully moiturised hands.

I cannot believe half the people have said YABU. Not washing hands before touching food is absolutely vile.

I always wash my hands straight after coming in. I don’t think YABU. And your husband’s attitude of knowing better on this stinks - is he always this vile towards you 🙄

Dh and I both wash our hands if we’ve been out during the day.

Medical staff may know about hygiene but it doesn’t mean they are superior at handwashing.
I’ve observed a nurse leaving a toilet cubicle and not stop to wash her hands, I worked with a biochemist who did the same and the infection control nurse lived in the filthiest house imaginable.

Same. It's only on Mumsnet I see people who are so obsessed with hand washing.

She says he washes them before he leaves work, so that should be fine!

I feel like I live in some kind of alternate universe when I read these threads.

I never wash my hands before eating or when I get home from work. I do wash them after the toilet or when I've been picking up animal poo. I never get sick.

Both my parents worked in a hospital when I was growing up and they didn't wash hands when they came in either.

I always wash my hands when I get in. Funny but the other day I saw a man picking his nose then touching the handle bars on the bus made me feel sick. Your husband isn't a child and should know better. YUK!!

I have never once washed my hands before preparing food unless I've just been to the toilet or something.

This

You work with outside with animals and you don’t wash your hands when you get in? Yeah sorry, that’s grim 🤢

Oh Christ it gets even worse.

No, it's not. Maybe it should be one day, but it's not the norm for everyone.
Medical professionals are already damaging their skin with frequent hand washing all through the day.

The first I heard this was a thing was during Covid and I was mid 40s then. Nobody ever told me, it was never modelled to me. If it’s basic hygiene it passed me by.

Nope. I get home, feed my own animals and grab a shower.

Yes, it's so bad I've never gotten sick from it in six years. Horrendous. I should report myself to the MN hygiene police 😂

I always wash my hands when I come home, before food prep and after the loo. It’s common sense and normal basic hygiene imo, and it’s disturbing to see that many on MN aren’t doing so.

I never eat in other peoples houses either.

You only have to think back to the soap shortage during Covid to see that people don't wash their hands.