To ask DH to wash his hands?

[SENSummer]

Ok, so I’m totally willing to be told IABU maybe I am, looking for some perspective.

I’m an emetophobe and one of my two small kids is disabled so I’m even more aware of cleanliness and germs. We get ill a lot. More than you would expect in my opinion.

DH is a hospital doctor. He works in the hospital all day. I’m often upstairs with the kids doing bedtime when he comes in so don’t observe his routine but tonight I was downstairs and noticed he didn’t wash his hands when he got home. Just wanted through the door and started shoving his hands into the bread bag to make toast and touching loads of fruit in the fruit bowl…etc

I asked if he’d washed his hands. He said yes, earlier in the day before he left work. I was a bit taken a back. I asked if he would mind washing his hands when he comes into the house on a night due to him being in the hospital all day. Both me and the kids wash our hands as soon as we come in from school or activities. It’s not an excessive amount but just seems a reasonable precaution to me.

DH hit the roof and made it clear I was being completely and utterly unreasonable and reminded me firmly that he knows better in these matters than I do.

So I put it to you oh wise MN’s… was I being unreasonable to ask DH to wash his hands?

It wouldn’t occur to me to wash my hands when I arrive home.

The issue is yours, OP. You should be addressing it.

I totally agree with you. I only realised what a difference it made once my kids started school. I was sick of us all getting sick so often. So insisted on us all washing hands when we got in from the school run, and also anywhere else we'd been. Made such a difference.

DH has always been half-hearted about it. Pain in the arse. His argument that he washes his hands before he leaves work and he's in his own car and not on public transport. But he's touching all sorts of door handles and lift buttons after that. I think a lot of men are just naturally grubby creatures.

I work in a school and always try to wash my hands before I eat my lunch. If I don't I am much more likely to catch the latest thing going round.

I've had natural ling nails for years

i wash my hands. That includes my nails. Everyone has the part if a nail most likely to be dirty/trap dirt, the bit near your finger skin.

i have never once scratched or otherwise hurt a baby/child/cared for person with my nails.

I imagine it's much more likely with false nails as people might not be so used to them.

You're incredibly unlikely to ever have good prepared by me, but don't be so judgemental. I'd rather have my food prepared by someone with long nails that washes their hands than half this thread of soap dodgers.

Exactly her point hence saying YANBU,

I don’t think I used routinely to wash my hands before preparing food until I did my level 2 Food and Hygiene certification. Now I always do. I also wash my hands before I eat, but in most schools it’s just not practical and that’s where children may learn hygiene practices they don’t follow at home.

Several years ago, pre-Covid, I was helping backstage with an amateur production when one of the cast came into the dressing room and started washing his hands. I don’t think he’d just been to the loo, as there are sinks in there, but he may just have touched something grubby offstage. I wasn’t particularly paying attention to him until I realised how long he was taking and noticed how thoroughly he was washing every surface of his hands. When I asked him what his job was he said he was a doctor. It must have been second nature and trained into him, so that he did it even when not at work.

Perhaps it’s a generational thing. He was probably late 20s.

It goook a while, but obviously someone managed to turn a thread about hand washing onto illness being being a fat issue

FFS HAVE A DAY OFF

What do you do about house guests who come into your house having been on the tube or wherever and don't go "to freshen up" straight away? I was cringing recently when my son and his girlfriend came in from the airport recently after a holiday. I think my son washed his hands as the habit was drummed into him from school age, but his girlfriend didn't. They were touching cupboards, the bread, taps, all sorts. The first thing I do when arriving at a destination after travelling is wash my hands. It does make a difference. If I'm out all day on a city break it's not always possible to wash your hands before eating etc and those are the times I end up sick.

I think YABU. I don't wash my hands when I get in. I'm rarely ill and when I am it's colds which are airborne. I haven't had a stomach bug for over 10 years.

And it took no time at all for an overweight person to take offence at the fact that excess weight can impact your health.

plus that wasn’t the point of my post, seems you’re looking to be offended. It was just an illustration.

He works in a hospital. Yes, he should wash his hands when he gets home, and especially before touching food!

My family and friends all do it anyway so don’t need to be asked.

I’m not an especially OTT person when it comes to handwashing, but I generally wash hands when coming home after being out at work all day. I think for me it’s a bit of a hangover from covid, and working in quite a high risk workplace. I would say that a hospital is even higher risk in terms of catching illnesses etc (my DS and DBIL are both hospital workers and I’d say the frequency of sickness of various types in their household is well above what I see for other families. With that in mind I’d say it was basic common sense for someone coming in from a hospital would change and wash hands when they come home, certainly before helping themselves to communal food items. In the case of the OP, this simple act could help her manage her anxiety about germs and sickness too, so I don’t see what the issue is with her husband just washing his hands when he gets in?

I'm in healthcare and wash my hands immediately I get in, and insist that DW and kids do too. I know for a fact they ignore me when they think I'm not in. But IANBU and neither are you

You wash hands before preparing food. He stuck his hands straight into food prep. So he is very unreasonable.

That said, if he'd washed his hands when leaving work, and then driven home, then it was probably OK not to wash them immediately. However, if used bus/tube etc, then hands definitely need washing upon arrival.

Whatever you opinion is on hand washing on entering the house the bit about 'hitting the roof' and lecturing you that he knows more than you about it, would piss me off. If it makes you happy then the 25 seconds to do it is no big deal, whatever he thinks about the merits of doing it, why not just do it. Why do people have to be so confrontational with their partners. This isn't about him being controlled or OP being a controlling partner, it's something that concerns her that he can resolve with minimal effort and time input. Then everything is good for the evening. Why come home from a stressful work situation and cause more stress at home and with the person you love because 'you know more about it'.

I am totally with you. I would also be asking him to ditch whatever clothes he had on into a (toxic waste) laundry bin and shower and change.

I am like this anyway and we don’t even have anyone who is immunosuppressed.

Backing you all the way on this one. Even if it just makes you feel better to have him wash his hands that’s surely the point - but also we know how germs spread and he knows very well too - he’s a doctor.

♥️

What if there's already 0% of these illnesses in your house at any one time? I never wash my hands when I come in the house!

Some people are just dirty little mingers that are happy to believe it’s perfectly normal to be out In the world touching surfaces covered in bacteria and bring them into your home. You will never change a grubby persons attitude, they are just disgusting 🦠

I wouldn't like that either. I wash my hands when I get in. Just feels cleaner.

I have never known anyone wash their hands when arriving home, I wash after going to the toilet and before touching meat or if I think my hands are dirty

And no I will not be telling another adult to do it

He said he washed his hands BEFORE he went to work, not when he left work to come home!

OP, does he not wash his hands at work when he goes to the toilet!!!

Oh well, being grubby hasn’t harmed me yet 🤣

Disgusting but also perfectly healthy and fine 🤷

Do you ask guests to wash their hands when they come in?

Colds aren't just airborne. Viruses, including colds and flu, transfer via surfaces. You may find you have fewer colds if you practise better hand hygiene.