To have made my partner switch hotels in London?

[LondonWoes]

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

We got on the train today and he started bragging it was £30 a night. That immediately set alarm bells ringing. We arrive and it’s a dump. It’s not even a hotel, but someone’s house with a load of converted rooms. There’s no reception, just a living room, and every door has the same key. That same key also opened the front door. We had been put in a downstairs room, with no window. It was boiling hot.

I told him I wasn’t staying in that hotel. It didn’t feel safe and the vibes were off. He has begrudgingly moved but made me pay, so now im £500 down for my birthday weekend. Was I being unreasonable?

Bloody hell op, he’s a keeper (not!). I’d be going out to dinner on my own, to celebrate my new singledom, having ceremoniously dumped him for being a tight arsed twat.. I strongly suggest you do the same.

Please do tell him to sling his hook and go home/stay in the shitty place. You'll have more fun on your own than with him sulking and huffing.

Tight arsing on a birthday trip is so unattractive. Espeically being proud of finding something horrible 'but it's cheap'. Presumably you weren't expecting the Ritz, just somewhere clean and safe.

He didn''t have to choose a trip to London if he couldn't do it properly. If he couldn't afford a half way decent hotel (a Premier Inn or similar), and a nice sit down meal in a (inexpensive) restaurant, then he should have suggested something cheaper to do locally that you'd enjoy.

Presumably if he ordered their dinner, @LondonWoes didn't even get to choose what burger she wanted.

At the very least I would tell him that if he can't get over his sulk by the time you're back then he should go home and not spoil your birthday.

Sounds like he's tried to do the whole thing on the cheap and failed miserably.

£500 per night (which what was implied, although the op has later corrected) is not what you need to pay. Also confirmed by the op who is only paying £150 per night.

Where roughly are you, and what do you love doing? Us Londoners can steer you right, send him packing!

Ick. is that all you’re worth to him?

👏👏

Call me a cynic but I’m wondering if the unusual meal time is because he found a deal with Five Guys from the end of lunch service on Too Good to Go.

Exactly. It’s not about him having the money - or not - if he couldn’t afford somewhere safe and clean like a hotel or private Airbnb, then he shouldn’t have offered a London trip!! He could have spent the £90 for 3 nights on a meal.

you can get keys that all open a communal door but only open the individual room, common in pub with rooms type places. It being horrible is obviously a factor but the key isn’t necessarily an issue

Currently in the Chelsea area. I love art, and theatre (which is why he got the Hamilton tickets). I’m thinking a day at the national gallery tomorrow!

Take away???? My goodness, that’s beyond cheap. There’s so many places you can eat in London for £20 a head or less without it being a burger takeaway

Dear God , he doesn’t know you at all.

We stayed in a very cheap hotel in Kings Cross before catching the early Eurostar to Paris. It was a double room with a shared bathroom. It was immaculately clean, very quiet, included a kettle and coffee for the morning, and was perfect for our needs - somewhere clean and quiet to sleep for one night. The code for the door was the same as the code for our room which I found a bit disconcerting but the room locked with a traditional key so no one could get in.

However, I certainly wouldn’t book a hotel like that for a celebration weekend!

I'd say he was there before and it's £30 an HOUR. Shared bathroom, condoms and lube in the machine in the hall. Bring all valuables out with you. Bedbugs free of charge together with stained sheets and curtains falling off the hooks. That is in the rooms that have a window.

I'm finding it a bit hard to believe, but stranger things have happened. I bet he's not staying in a tent on his ski holiday with his mates. He's saving up for that by picking this live dive.

YANBU to switch the hotel, but try not to let the tension ruin the whole weekend. Even cheap Hamilton tickets are expensive, London is inherently expensive, even Five Guys is expensive (if he hasn't got much money, you can get cheaper, nicer 'fast' food in London)...

Yes, he's being tight - but presumably he's always been like this, so pouting about it because it's your birthday is a tiny bit ungrateful. My husband isn't quite as bad as your boyfriend, but he definitely has lower standards than me and the hotels he books are NOT the hotels I would choose.

Though they do have their own door keys, so...

Anyway. If you're in it for the long haul with him, you're going to have to compromise on your standards and he's going to have to raise his a bit.

If you can't, then end it. I'm perimenopausal though and at the life stage where I am done compromising on shit and squashing myself into someone else's box. He may have qualities that redeem him.

Send him home.

Treat yourself to the pointillism exhibition at the National Gallery if you can get a ticket, and lunch at the new Locattelli restaurant there. Tate Britain has some great stuff as well.

There is a fantastic pre-theatre menu at Café Murano near the Royal Opera House you could take yourself to tonight. Angela Hartnett's gaff, remarkably affordable and the staff are fantastic. I've eaten there on my own often. Best risotto outside of Italy.

Have a great birthday weekend!

Maybe I’m a bit naive and the key is a non issue but I felt unsafe and i didn’t want to feel unsafe on my birthday weekend away!

As a PA who regularly has to book hotels in London, I can confidently say that even Travelodges and Premier Inns come up at well over £200 a night! When you said he’d booked a hotel at just £30 a night my heart sank as I knew it was going to be a right shithole. Even the YHA is more than that! The Ibis is definitely not considered luxury or even mid-range but I’d say £150 a night is reasonable in London and infinitely better than the original place. I’m so sorry you’ve experienced this, tight fisted men are the worst!

If you like modern art, I'd highly recommend a wander along the South Bank (pretty river views, nice shops, lots of places to eat) ending up at the Tate Modern which always has interesting things to see - pop into the National Theatre for the shop which has lovely things. They currently have a Picasso exhibition (not a free one, but not expensive and there is a ton of free stuff to see if you don't want to pay). If you go just a bit further, there is the Globe which also has a good shop. And you can get a standing ticket for £5-10 if there are any left. I think they are doing Twelfth Night and Troilus and Cressida atm. They also do Shakespeare walkin tours which might be running tomorrow.

If you go into the West End and like posh stationery, pay a visit to Choosing Keeping which is my second favourite shop in the world.

And bin this idiot off. He sounds mean and thoughtless.

Bin him off and I'll come join you for Hamilton tomorrow. I'm free! I'll even treat you to birthday cocktails (not from Wetherspoons)😂

It's your birthday weekend and you deserve so much better than what you've been given! Don't make excuses for him, he's a prize prick!

Where are you planning for dinner?

Do you live together?

and surely you must have had an inkling about this side to him before and his behaviour response in tiffs?