To have made my partner switch hotels in London?

[LondonWoes]

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

We got on the train today and he started bragging it was £30 a night. That immediately set alarm bells ringing. We arrive and it’s a dump. It’s not even a hotel, but someone’s house with a load of converted rooms. There’s no reception, just a living room, and every door has the same key. That same key also opened the front door. We had been put in a downstairs room, with no window. It was boiling hot.

I told him I wasn’t staying in that hotel. It didn’t feel safe and the vibes were off. He has begrudgingly moved but made me pay, so now im £500 down for my birthday weekend. Was I being unreasonable?

I wouldn't have minded the unconventional reception area and the fact that it's a converted house rather than a hotel and that it's a windowless room are things he must have been aware of when he booked so those are a difference in acceptable standards between you. The temp might have been mitigated with an electric fan or asked staff to regulate. BUT you were not unreasonable to refuse to stay there if it is true that other guests had the front door key which also opened your room door - unless there was a deadbolt on the inside of the room door and a huge lockable safe/locker/closet, it was a safety hazard. I would not have sorted it out or paid, though - that was his responsibility. I hope he at least got his money back! It's really hard to believe that something like what you described would not have shown up in reviews. It's not impossible to find a private room in London for £30 a night at certain times although probably not ensuite, but I'd be very, very wary.

I'd say it's possible to get past this IF it were mainly a matter of different standards/priorities and his being an inexperienced traveller, but the fact that he's sulking rather than apologising and going all out to make the best of things is a bad, bad sign!

Thank you for writing out what I was starting to think! I am wondering if he has been going around telling everyone and their dog, "I am taking my GF to London for the weekend for her birthday. Totally MY treat! Hotel, dinner reservations, Hamilton tickets!". Then the guys are sulky because now they have to come up with something for their GF/SO and the gals are all swoony thinking, "Maybe he isn't as bad as I first thought!".

Wow. He hates you.

Where is your sense of self worth and self respect? Dump this loser.

Physical keys can do this too. All my uni accommodation used this set up. But that doesn’t mean that’s what they had at this house. It’s expensive to get secure systems that do this. Much more expensive than a set of identically keyed Yale locks. So a £30/night (illegally converted?) AirBnB would not seem a likely candidate.

It sounds awful and I totally agree that he should stay at the "scuzzy fleapit" a PP called it. But the comments on this are comedy gold and have cheered me up from feeling a bit rubbish this afternoon

I do think we have different standards, but he should’ve been catering a bit more to me because it was supposed to be my trip.

I’ve got dressed up and I’m going to take myself out for dinner. No way is a £20 burger what I expect for myself. I’m half minded to tell him to be gone by the time I get back

Jeez. Five Guys is barely a step up from McDonald's.

I have searched for london hotels recently. 30 quid wouldn't buy you a night in a hostel so I can only imagine what kind of dive it was. He should have at least gone halves on the hotel.

@LondonWoes is this your first trip away together, and/or have you booked and organised every other trip? If this is standard for him then I’d expect other red flags, but if you’ve done all the leg work up until now or you’ve paid previously I can see why this this might have slipped under the radar.

Out of interest are you the higher earner?

OP is your bar really set that low? He is a complete twat.
YABU to have paid it - I would have just gone home.

Grotty dive of a hotel AND burger takeaway? He knows how to show a lady a good time, doesn’t he?

Seriously, bin this stingy sulky twit. We recently had to stay in what appeared to be a “rooming house” earlier this year for a funeral, but it was clean, had windows and a door that properly locked (cost a bit more than 30 quid a night too).

Ewww tell him to take himself home. Seriously.
Go out by yourself and enjoy your birthday. He hasn’t set the bar low….there is no bar. At all.

😂

Honestly, I would tell him to stay in the place he booked and I'd do my best to have a lovely weekend without him.

This has got to be a wind-up. I refuse to believe this woman can be that much of an idiot to stick with a guy like that. It's just embarrassing.

I agree with @limegreenheart
"it's possible to get past this IF it were mainly a matter of different standards/priorities and his being an inexperienced traveller, but the fact that he's sulking rather than apologising and going all out to make the best of things is a bad, bad sign!"

A decent guy would be apologising and laughing at his mistake, admiring the room you'd booked and saying make a great night of it anyway etc... instead of sulking so much to guarantee you have an awful time.
Or would have owned up and said that the holiday cost more than he thought and could you go halves on accomodation. like an adult.

What a loser. Fallen at the first fence.

PS. Don't they have tables at five guys.....? Could have been part of a nice London walk.. And who eats at 4 bloomin 30?

Probably standing ones

OP, staying in a homeless hostel, or whatever the hell this place was, is not a “birthday treat”. If he doesn’t split the bill I would dump him honestly.

I wouldn’t pay £500 for a night, there’s less expensive places even Prenier Inn is cheaper than that

It is £500 for three nights, not one

Jesus Christ, I’d seriously leave. Go home after the theatre. He’s an idiot!

How old are you OP?

Omg I’d be so annoyed. He maybe has different standards to you, I mean who knows, maybe the place he’s staying at when he goes skiing is a dump too, but his whole attitude would be a deal breaker for me. Someone doesn’t need to spend a tonne of money on their partner but they need to show they’re thoughtful, considerate, loving etc. He isn’t giving off those vibes.

edit to also say- wtf, five guys??!!!. Even if you love burgers there are some exciting independent burger bars in London he could’ve made the effort to look up and book one for you. Sorry he’s crap, but hope you love Hamilton.

Whereabouts are you? Us Londoners could recommend somewhere?

Has this behaviour completely come out the blue Op? And no indication of him being very tight and, even worse, getting in to awful grumps?

Omg bin the cheapskate l!