To have made my partner switch hotels in London?

[LondonWoes]

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

We got on the train today and he started bragging it was £30 a night. That immediately set alarm bells ringing. We arrive and it’s a dump. It’s not even a hotel, but someone’s house with a load of converted rooms. There’s no reception, just a living room, and every door has the same key. That same key also opened the front door. We had been put in a downstairs room, with no window. It was boiling hot.

I told him I wasn’t staying in that hotel. It didn’t feel safe and the vibes were off. He has begrudgingly moved but made me pay, so now im £500 down for my birthday weekend. Was I being unreasonable?

Yeah, there's no way back. I'm surprised the two of you made it this far without something like this happening before. Enjoy being young free and single for a while.

Wow what a total bellend! You’re better off without op.

Because that’s how gifting something works - you don’t retain the right to take it back and use it yourself.

So how much did you want him to pay for your birthday?

Why would he wait up for you when you've gone off by yourself?

Gawd @LondonWoes what a stinker he is!
I really admire your ability to stand up for yourself and your clear understanding of your worth.
I do not understand the posters saying 'poor him ' and implying he should be given the benefit of the doubt/a second chance when he is clearly showing you who he is! From their reasoning you have to have another shit, horrible time with him before you do what you knew you should have done after this first time!
As the saying has it: 'when people show you who they are, believe them, the first time'.
Enjoy your lovely bed, tasty food in elegant surroundings, and the show you have wanted to see for so long!

Well yes they were bought as a gift to you but if he had bought you say a necklace you wanted for your birthday but you broke up with him before he gave it to you, would you still expect to receive the necklace?

And given that he is obviously going to be hurt and angry at the break up I think it was naive to think that he would still be happy to give you the ticket.

Given this behaviour @LondonWoes who bought the train tickets? I wouldn’t put it past him to have cancelled yours.

Where did you see them at the theatre? Horrid man lying in wait.

Logically yeah but given the way things escalated I would not put myself in a situation to find out when I get there if he will be reasonable about the gift or not.

Things broke down very quickly, you cancelled his room without telling him, went off doing your own things, muted his messages so it’s obvious he will try to retaliate.

Don’t get me wrong you’re doing the right thing to get rid of him because he is an arsehole but you should have also anticipated him turning up at the show and just bought your own ticket.

Anyway as you said it’s better to know now rather than 10 years into the relationship so enjoy the show tomorrow, I love Hamilton ❤

Honestly you are fantastic for taking this all in as a positive experience! I love that you know your own worth. How many women would have put up with this whole thing? Just wonderful you haven’t.

OP I salute you

know your worth

enjoy Hamilton!

and remember- a lot of women on this site are married to (and have had children with…) men that never do anything nice for them, and have NEVER done anything nice for them, ready to leap on you for daring to expect more than crumbs

honestly, come back for Christmas and Mother’s Day and be reaffirmed that you gave this guy the swerve

you’ve had a lot of sane posts thankfully, but ignore those who think you should have stayed in a hovel and put up with his sulky face all weekend because he trieeeeeed

He always had control of the tickets, he hasn’t even taken it back. The risk of him going without you was higher, because of the poor state of your relationship.

Plus he was acting quite childish anyway so there was no indication that he would respond positively to your actions, he would have been more childish if anything.

He showed her quite clearly how much he cared about the relationship, I don't suppose he's going to be terribly hurt and angry.

It is possible to have a 'simpler' lock on the front door which can be opened by each of the individual, different room keys. Though, at £30 per room, I imagine the facilities were less than luxurious.

I know you've made your decision and you also know that it is the right one.
I will tell you my first trip to London (long time before we ended up living there) and is probably completely irrelevant now.
Early 80's...in our late teens, DH booked a trip to London for us. We were students and pretty skint. One of those all in weekends before Christmas. On the bus to London, two nights in the Renaissance Hotel (room only), two theatre tickets to Phantom of the Opera. We had dinner at Garfunkels with a massive shared Knickerbocker Glory for dessert. We are here now, both retired and still have that weekend deep-rooted in our memories.
And that's the way it could have been with a little bit more thought.

Hope you are having a lovely time and enjoy Hamilton, just as you deserve.

What an absolute prick.

Does he live with you OP, or does he have any things at yours? I’d want to throw away and erase every little evidence of his existence.

Run. And don't look back. I PROMISE you, it'll only get worse. You are YOUNG. 18months in and I'm guessing this is your 2nd birthday with him so he should be making an effort... you are still at the early stages of your relationship so its easier to end it now. It doesn't have to be expensive but he can't be a tight arse either. If he's booked a ski trip, then he has the money.

Enjoy it tomorrow and be glad you stood up for yourself. It really is so important to know your worth and boundaries, especially as a woman.

Omg what did he/she say when you saw them??

I just think I could go home, be upset and rot, or I could take advantage of being in my favourite city in the world and do fun things. I’m worth more than what he was going to give me!

Why? This is how women get stuck in shit relationships. Because they let stuff like this pass. Sunk cost fallacy has a lot to answer for.

OP Bravo! All these women saying you are hardwork/should have made more effort blah blah. No, this is what self respect, boundaries and knowing your worth look like. It's 2025 not 1955, women have no time to be showing men how to act or behave. OP is right, it's 18months, not 18 years, this is the honeymoon period and he gets shit seats to a show, then thinks ooh we will have a wonderful 'romantic' weekend away in our HMO.
Many years ago I bought theatre tickets for an ex for his birthday, 2nd row from the front for a show I had seen but he hadn't but was right up his street. He caused an argument, we didn't go, then I found out the next day he had gone clubbing with his friend. He's a twat took me a long time to realise, but he actually showed me who he was way back then and I stayed, but trust your gut on this one - he won't change and you've 100% done the right thing dumping him. Cheeky f for regifting the tickets, what a cheapskate.

Turning up with his sister meant that he lost any status in my eyes as the hard done by party in this situation. Ok, I never thought he was even remotely hard done by but it was an extra weaselly thing to do when he already knew that you were not happy with what he had arranged.

I agree with the other posters saying that you were lucky to see this side of him now before you married him. You will enjoy Hamilton even more now there is no risk of finding him in the adjacent seat.

@LondonWoes What an absolute shit your now Ex BF is! Thank god your eyes have been opened and you got this lucky escape. Please don't listen to posters imposing their own low standards on you.

So glad you've secured a Hamilton ticket for tomorrow. I've seen it 3 times! The cheap seats, where we saw everything from above, was the best experience of the 3, because the dancing is amazing and you can see it really well from up there. Much better than the stalls. Have an absolute blast, and enjoy the rest of your stay in wonderful London!

Wow that's a low blow!

Definitely way better off without and as you say at least you have found out about this streak before you are down the line with marriage etc.

I'm sorry he's been a prize tool enjoy yourself and the theatre tomorrow.