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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have made my partner switch hotels in London?

902 replies

LondonWoes · 09/10/2025 15:48

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

We got on the train today and he started bragging it was £30 a night. That immediately set alarm bells ringing. We arrive and it’s a dump. It’s not even a hotel, but someone’s house with a load of converted rooms. There’s no reception, just a living room, and every door has the same key. That same key also opened the front door. We had been put in a downstairs room, with no window. It was boiling hot.

I told him I wasn’t staying in that hotel. It didn’t feel safe and the vibes were off. He has begrudgingly moved but made me pay, so now im £500 down for my birthday weekend. Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
ShesNeverSeenAShadeOfGray · 10/10/2025 21:44

He and his sister are not good people.

Glad you have a ticket for tomorrow and you haven't wasted years on the loser.
Enjoy your show and your new beginning x

Denim4ever · 10/10/2025 21:45

Oh dear, London is full of decent Travel Lodges and Premier Inns where he could have booked a relatively economic decent room. Sorry this happened OP

Merryoldgoat · 10/10/2025 21:50

Can I just say @LondonWoes you are going to LOVE Hamilton.

rainbowstardrops · 10/10/2025 22:03

Hmm. I think you’ve over egged it a bit now OP!

DramaLlamacchiato · 10/10/2025 22:15

What a prick. I hope his seat was behind a pillar and that he gets bed bugs in the cheap Air BNB

Enjoy the show tomorrow

Letsgodancing · 10/10/2025 22:28

I think he will probably tell everyone how he planned a suprise weekend in London for you but not tell anyone how it was a £30 dodgy room or a five guys takeaway. The Hamilton tickets were probably the best thing on offer and that's why his sister has accepted to go with him to the show, there's no chance she is staying in the grotty room he originally booked !
But ultimately so many women would have probably let this go and be in for a miserable life and years ahead (plenty of stories on here of that ) so knowing this is not good enough for you will make you much happier in the long run !

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 10/10/2025 22:41

LondonWoes · 10/10/2025 20:38

Pretty much! I’ve secured a ticket tomorrow and we’re absolutely over, there’s no way back

Hopefully you've bought yourself a better ticket than the one his sister ended up using.

Let me tell you a story, @LondonWoes.

My auntie Margaret, who is a wonderful woman and one of my favourite people in the world, had a long term partner who we all not so fondly referred to as "Tony the Turd".

I can't recall exactly what Tony did for a living, but it was something where he often got free perks, tickets to things and so on. So in some ways they had a nice lifestyle and got to do fun things thanks to Tony's job. On the other hand he was an unofficial cocklodger in her house, and would actually turn the electricity in his house off at the mains every time he went to stay with her. Evidently he had nothing in his fridge or freezer.

Over the years he dropped many hints about moving in with her, but she was divorced with one child, co-owned a house with her mother, and then finally when her son had long since flown the nest and her mother eventually died and left her the other half of the house and she no longer had a concrete excuse for why Tony couldn't move in, she had to admit that he wasn't going to move in because she just didn't want him to.

Anyway, ye gods, but the man was tighter than a nun's minge. He used to revel in getting everything as cheap as humanly possible. His favourite place to eat out was Wetherspoons, and he used to constantly bang on about what a bargain it was. When you talk about your now ex being proud as punch about his £30 "hotel" room in London, it's Tony's face I see.

He gloated about having made the most of the free bar at Margaret's mother's funeral. The last time I saw him we went to a garden party at one of Margaret's neighbours' houses and all the way home he was boasting about how he'd brought one bottle of cheap wine to the party but drunk at least two much nicer bottles.

Anyway, I'm talking about him in the past tense as if he's dead. In truth I have no idea whether he is dead or alive and I couldn't give a shit. Eventually Margaret gave him the shove. Unfortunately she spent decades of her life with the twat which she'll never get back. I have no idea what the final straw was, but even at the age of 70 or however old Margaret was when she finally bought Tony a one-way ticket to Dumpsville, Dumped, she realised that life is too short to spend with a cheapskate who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing.

If you've learned that lesson 40 years earlier than Margaret did, all the more power to you. You don't need to settle for a man like this.

Nearly50omg · 10/10/2025 23:00

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/10/2025 21:01

Well yes they were bought as a gift to you but if he had bought you say a necklace you wanted for your birthday but you broke up with him before he gave it to you, would you still expect to receive the necklace?

And given that he is obviously going to be hurt and angry at the break up I think it was naive to think that he would still be happy to give you the ticket.

As he had basically stolen a night in the ££ hotel paid for by OP as he deliberately went to sleep after she told him to get out I think the least he frankly owed her either the cost of the room for the night or the tickets of the show!

XelaM · 10/10/2025 23:13

Well done to him for standing up to OP's OTT drama and taking his sister! Why would he let the OP use the tickets when she was so horrible to him all weekend?

You don't look a gifted horse in the mouth and all that...

RoseAlone · 10/10/2025 23:19

LondonWoes · 10/10/2025 20:15

I’d printed them off.

stupid me didn’t think about the fact that they were originally e tickets.

So he’d rocked up, with his sister. And was stood there proud as punch. I’m gutted. Absolutely gutted.

The guy is a genius! This was nothing more than you deserved for acting like a spoiled, entitled, ungrateful princess.

He can do so much better. I'm glad for his sake that you've shown your true colours this early on. Good luck to the next person that takes you on.

PandorasJam · 10/10/2025 23:21

I don't think OP is BU but I do feel a bit sorry for the BF. It sounds like he was just clueless rather than mean or uncaring. It does seem that the two don't know each other well enough. I hope he takes this as a learning experience.

bluegreygreen · 10/10/2025 23:22

There's clueless, and there's saying you've made a dinner reservation when you mean you're going to get takeaway ...

Namechangerage · 10/10/2025 23:26

XelaM · 10/10/2025 23:13

Well done to him for standing up to OP's OTT drama and taking his sister! Why would he let the OP use the tickets when she was so horrible to him all weekend?

You don't look a gifted horse in the mouth and all that...

LOL. Nice to see the standards high as usual…

Butterflywings84 · 10/10/2025 23:41

LondonWoes · 10/10/2025 20:15

I’d printed them off.

stupid me didn’t think about the fact that they were originally e tickets.

So he’d rocked up, with his sister. And was stood there proud as punch. I’m gutted. Absolutely gutted.

Wow!! That’s a blow. Did you actually speak to them? Was he just waiting there to see if you showed up?

Isthistheend09 · 10/10/2025 23:44

Aah I started reading this thread yesterday think YADNBU, I wouldn’t have stayed there either. I think the fight over five guys was a bit ott but can completely see your disappointment. But (big BUT) you dumped him, you turfed him out the hotel room, and they were tickets he’d paid for. He was absolutely entitled to use them,

Chalk this up to experience and be glad you realised now how incompatible you are rather than further down the line,

SpaceRaccoon · 10/10/2025 23:51

RoseAlone · 10/10/2025 23:19

The guy is a genius! This was nothing more than you deserved for acting like a spoiled, entitled, ungrateful princess.

He can do so much better. I'm glad for his sake that you've shown your true colours this early on. Good luck to the next person that takes you on.

Your standads are so low they're in the earth's core. Tbh though, you deserve whatever horror of a bloke you're so willing to tolerate, after that spiteful little missive.

BippidyBoppety · 10/10/2025 23:57

My sympathies are with the OP. Bloke has bigged up the 3 day trip to London, hotel, dinner, theatre tickets, waiting for / expecting the "Oooo, aren't you wonderful" when the reality is he'd booked a room in what I'm guessing is a construction workers overnighter, sourced a take-away and got the nosebleed seats for Hamilton. I'm being kind when I say I think he's probably absolutely clueless in how to treat a partner for her birthday. But late 20's is an indication he's either been living under a rock or really wasn't that bothered about the OP, it was the feeble gesture in that he thought he'd be her hero ...

OP, I loved Hamilton, seen it a few times. It's a treat. You're in a hotel where you feel safe. London is yours and yours alone, no having to consider someone elses wants or needs. Have a lovely time and Happy Birthday.

BippidyBoppety · 11/10/2025 00:00

.... you dumped him, you turfed him out the hotel room, and they were tickets he’d paid for. He was absolutely entitled to use them,

Unless I've read this wrong, these tickets were the birthday present for a partner of 18 months, a gift from him to her. Something he knew she was excited to see. Knob move on his part.

ImSoPeopledOut · 11/10/2025 00:06

RoseAlone · 10/10/2025 23:19

The guy is a genius! This was nothing more than you deserved for acting like a spoiled, entitled, ungrateful princess.

He can do so much better. I'm glad for his sake that you've shown your true colours this early on. Good luck to the next person that takes you on.

😂😂😂

Priceless 😂

Hope you enjoyed Hamilton!

XelaM · 11/10/2025 00:08

BippidyBoppety · 11/10/2025 00:00

.... you dumped him, you turfed him out the hotel room, and they were tickets he’d paid for. He was absolutely entitled to use them,

Unless I've read this wrong, these tickets were the birthday present for a partner of 18 months, a gift from him to her. Something he knew she was excited to see. Knob move on his part.

But his present to her was totally rubbished by the OP who had no end of complaints and ended up dumping him and switching rooms. Why should he still give her a thoughtful present? Maybe she should have waited until after the show to dump him 🤷‍♀️

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/10/2025 00:17

Nearly50omg · 10/10/2025 23:00

As he had basically stolen a night in the ££ hotel paid for by OP as he deliberately went to sleep after she told him to get out I think the least he frankly owed her either the cost of the room for the night or the tickets of the show!

He owned and had control over the tickets, so I stand by it being extremely naive for her to expect him to cheerfully hand at least one over to her and sit next to her during the show. She hadnt just dumped him but did so in a "there is no going back from this" way, so why on earth would anyone expect him to be nice when she hadnt been?

I dont think that the OP was wrong in what she did, but equally I dont think that he was wrong in doing he did.

Quantumfisiks · 11/10/2025 00:24

U53rName · 10/10/2025 10:41

Could you please point me on the direction of this ski resort, where I can have a holiday, to include flights, accommodation, ski rental, airport transfers, and lift pass—for under £500pp?

There isn’t one. That’s not what I said. He is skiing alone. And it’s a weekend. £1k ( which is what the weekend in London should cost) covers one person skiing for a weekend.

XelaM · 11/10/2025 00:49

Quantumfisiks · 11/10/2025 00:24

There isn’t one. That’s not what I said. He is skiing alone. And it’s a weekend. £1k ( which is what the weekend in London should cost) covers one person skiing for a weekend.

Side note, but you can definitely ski in Aviemore for £500 including train, b&b and ski pass ⛷️

Notannabell · 11/10/2025 00:55

OP you have been waiting for this special weekend which has been spoiled not so much by the initial 'hotel' but by the burger and sulking. The sister, the tickets, smiles on their faces sound terrible! It looks like freedom is your Birthday gift (and a lucky escape). I don't understand some of the comments.. It was supposed to be a special treat, not a random weekend away. Hope you enjoyed Hamilton!

jen337 · 11/10/2025 00:56

Well done OP, know your worth and all that, don’t settle, stand up for yourself and your values, all that good stuff right here, I’m gobsmacked there’s people on here attacking you and making excuses for this petulant, useless ‘man’. Internalised patriarchy in action.