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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have made my partner switch hotels in London?

902 replies

LondonWoes · 09/10/2025 15:48

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

We got on the train today and he started bragging it was £30 a night. That immediately set alarm bells ringing. We arrive and it’s a dump. It’s not even a hotel, but someone’s house with a load of converted rooms. There’s no reception, just a living room, and every door has the same key. That same key also opened the front door. We had been put in a downstairs room, with no window. It was boiling hot.

I told him I wasn’t staying in that hotel. It didn’t feel safe and the vibes were off. He has begrudgingly moved but made me pay, so now im £500 down for my birthday weekend. Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
BatchCookBabe · 10/10/2025 19:28

SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 09/10/2025 23:02

This smacks of a fundamental incompatibility to me. You have different ideas of what equals a good time, different ideas of where to draw the line to save money and worse than that, you’ve got yourself a sulker! A full grown man who rather than engage like an adult over a disagreement is ignoring you and going for walks to “cool off” like a teenage drama queen. None of this is attractive. Imagine if you had an actual serious problem. This is not someone who brings maturity, support and solutions to the table. This is a man-baby

Yes, you need to dump this giant baby @LondonWoes The sulking and storming off to 'cool off' is a red flag.

(TRIGGER WARNING: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.)

.
I had an ex before I met my DH who could cause an argument in an empty room, and shouted a lot. I shouted back though, and he couldn't handle it, so he would walk off and come back the next day.

One time he started to storm off and I said 'why the hell do you always storm off like a scolded child when we're having a row?' He said 'to stop myself pummeling your fucking face. If I didn't go off to cool down for an hour, you'd be in hospital,'

I was like Confused He stormed off. I went back home (I was 19 and still living with my folks,) and when he rang the next day to say 'I'm picking you up at 8 tonight, be grateful you've got a man with a car.' I said 'no don't bother, we're finished.'

The reason was obvious, but he got all weird and clingy and needy and came to my/my parents house crying... 'Well I obviously didn't mean it!' he wailed. Too late, he was dumped, and it took my uncle, my dad, and our 6 foot 6 next door neighbour to come out and tell him to get lost or they will call the police on him - to stop bothering me again.

Went off on a tanget sorry, but this man is showing similar signs to that ex of the OP

Pinkfreedom · 10/10/2025 19:29

With you 100% OP.

Had he been able to laugh with you about the shit hole and move on you could have talked it through. Instead he sulked and tried to ruin even more of your weekend.

I love a Five Guys but it certainly isn't a dinner reservation plus when in London I would want to go somewhere different to my local haunt.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your time in London.

FallingIntoAutumn · 10/10/2025 19:30

Fuck that shit.
Well done on knowing your worth and ultimately that you just aren’t compatible
enjoy London

SoMuchBadAdvice · 10/10/2025 19:34

OhNineFiftyFour · 10/10/2025 18:49

The key really is the very least concerning thing about all of this. I don't know why so many posters are fixating on it.

Even if that room door had ten padlocks on it, it would still be a windlowless HMO dump that dealers use to put up their county lines kids.

Show quote history

I should have added that I own a 1 double bedroom flat around the corner from the Victoria Palace (where Hamilton is performing), which I rent out for £200/night (not via AirBnB) so I fully understand why £30/night is ridiculous.

TakeMe2Insanity · 10/10/2025 19:50

WallaceinAnderland · 10/10/2025 18:49

So refreshing to see a poster who knows her worth. Well done OP.

Too many women put up with or excuse petulant sulking from grown men who ought to know better.

This!

SoScarletItWas · 10/10/2025 19:51

LondonWoes · 10/10/2025 17:44

I have both tickets, I was looking after them

Show quote history

This doesn’t quite make sense. All Hamilton tickets are e-tickets. Did you get into the show ok @LondonWoes?

Original poster
LondonWoes · 10/10/2025 20:15

SoScarletItWas · 10/10/2025 19:51

This doesn’t quite make sense. All Hamilton tickets are e-tickets. Did you get into the show ok @LondonWoes?

Show quote history

I’d printed them off.

stupid me didn’t think about the fact that they were originally e tickets.

So he’d rocked up, with his sister. And was stood there proud as punch. I’m gutted. Absolutely gutted.

OP posts:
WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 10/10/2025 20:20

What a prick. @LondonWoes sorry you’ve had to experience this x

Youllnevergetabetterbitofbutteronyourknife · 10/10/2025 20:23

😲

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 10/10/2025 20:26

His sister is a cunt for going along with it.

Agapornis · 10/10/2025 20:27

😱 what a piece of shit.
Did you get some last minute tickets? You can get a very good deal if you buy at the box office (much better seats for less money).

Original poster
LondonWoes · 10/10/2025 20:27

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 10/10/2025 20:26

His sister is a cunt for going along with it.

I’m honestly over it all. He can have his cheap tickets and cheap hotels, because no woman is ever going to love someone as disrespectful and cheap as he is. I’m gutted but I’m also grateful for my eyes being opened now, and not in 10 or 15 years time

OP posts:
shhblackbag · 10/10/2025 20:32

LondonWoes · 10/10/2025 20:15

I’d printed them off.

stupid me didn’t think about the fact that they were originally e tickets.

So he’d rocked up, with his sister. And was stood there proud as punch. I’m gutted. Absolutely gutted.

Show quote history

My god, he is a piece of shit. His sister, too. Imagine going along with that.

Actually shocking.

SpryUmberZebra · 10/10/2025 20:32

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 10/10/2025 20:26

His sister is a cunt for going along with it.

I get OP deciding he doesn’t value her but what was her plan if he turned up at the show given she cancelled his room, moved to another room, blocked or muted him which pretty much means the relationship is over.

At that point she was unreasonable to still expect to use the tickets to Hamilton.

And yes he is a piece of shit but when you’re at the point where you’re paying for your separate rooms etc I works err on the side of caution and buy my tickets if only to avoid sitting next to him awkwardly during the show.

Agapornis · 10/10/2025 20:32

There are some good stalls tickets for £135-150 at the 14:30 matinee tomorrow.

Pottlee · 10/10/2025 20:33

Gutted for you OP, that’s really shitty of him. What did he say when he saw you?

SoMuchBadAdvice · 10/10/2025 20:35

This reply has been deleted

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PyongyangKipperbang · 10/10/2025 20:35

SpryUmberZebra · 10/10/2025 20:32

I get OP deciding he doesn’t value her but what was her plan if he turned up at the show given she cancelled his room, moved to another room, blocked or muted him which pretty much means the relationship is over.

At that point she was unreasonable to still expect to use the tickets to Hamilton.

And yes he is a piece of shit but when you’re at the point where you’re paying for your separate rooms etc I works err on the side of caution and buy my tickets if only to avoid sitting next to him awkwardly during the show.

Edited
Show quote history

I am sorry but I agree with this.

You broke up with him. They are his tickets, so he can use them with who he wants.

SpiritedFlame · 10/10/2025 20:37

Oh gosh OP, this whole time sounds brutal. I don't know anything about tickets but I saw up thread that there are some for tomorrow. I hope you can get them.

As you say, it is good to know now rather than 10-15 years down the line with probably a lot more ties.

Original poster
LondonWoes · 10/10/2025 20:38

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/10/2025 20:35

I am sorry but I agree with this.

You broke up with him. They are his tickets, so he can use them with who he wants.

Show quote history

He gifted them to me. He had never shown any interest in going to Hamilton. Maybe it was unreasonable of me to turn up but I thought he would be decent enough to let
me use the one good part of my gift.

OP posts:
Original poster
LondonWoes · 10/10/2025 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pretty much! I’ve secured a ticket tomorrow and we’re absolutely over, there’s no way back

OP posts:
Fabulously · 10/10/2025 20:45

LondonWoes · 10/10/2025 20:38

He gifted them to me. He had never shown any interest in going to Hamilton. Maybe it was unreasonable of me to turn up but I thought he would be decent enough to let
me use the one good part of my gift.

Show quote history

why?

There’s bad blood between you, and you’ve been ignoring him all day which is going to reduce any goodwill he has towards you. I think it was unrealistic for you to assume all would be okay with the show when you’re breaking up. Did he see you at the theatre? I think you should have at least checked his messages to you, before just showing up in case he said he was going with her.

Agapornis · 10/10/2025 20:46

Yay, glad you're looking after yourself!
And that you're not marrying into that family!

SpaceRaccoon · 10/10/2025 20:46

How ungallant of him.

handsdownthebest · 10/10/2025 20:48

SpaceRaccoon · 10/10/2025 20:46

How ungallant of him.

Indeed...the man is an arse and has hopefully been kicked into touch