To have made my partner switch hotels in London?

[LondonWoes]

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

We got on the train today and he started bragging it was £30 a night. That immediately set alarm bells ringing. We arrive and it’s a dump. It’s not even a hotel, but someone’s house with a load of converted rooms. There’s no reception, just a living room, and every door has the same key. That same key also opened the front door. We had been put in a downstairs room, with no window. It was boiling hot.

I told him I wasn’t staying in that hotel. It didn’t feel safe and the vibes were off. He has begrudgingly moved but made me pay, so now im £500 down for my birthday weekend. Was I being unreasonable?

For 30 a night in London and over a weekend, a mouldy, dirty place with no safety information - I’m just going to assume the hosts wouldn’t have spent money on such a fancy key/lock system 😂

Maybe my standards are lower than most. I would never expect anyone to do anything nice for me - and they haven’t- so I can’t imagine being upset that something wasn’t good enough. It’s very interesting though because I have most definitely been badly treated by people and maybe I need to think about this. But I’m old now

I wouldn't put a dog in a 30 quid hotel in London.

Ha I’m a lot of people’s mum actually. Not this particular person though

These messages are from women who around Christmas tend to post stuff like 'My DH hasn't bought me a Christmas gift for 20 years, I usually spent £1000 on his (I love gift giving and start planning his gifs around summer! I would be happy with a card and a box of chocolates!). For context he has 6 figures salary and has just spent £15,000 on his bike and he is semi retired, so it's not money or time thing'.

He really hasn’t gone to any trouble. I’m genuinely saddened that you think he has. OP deserves better and so do you. Raise your standards.

It's never too late to expect people to treat you well, especially not if you have children (adult or not) who are likely to look to you, at least partly, to determine what behaviour they should accept in their own lives.

I’m going to really think about this

Any normal, respectful person deserves to be be treated nicely and occasionally treated (whatever that may look like). It’s not too late to realise you should be appreciated!

This is really sad. I’m sorry you feel like this, and I hope that one of your children or a friend or someone else will show you that you deserve nice things. Everyone* deserves to be treated nicely.

*obviously exceptions exist, Ian Huntley and people like that for example.

Imagine thinking a windowless room in a minging HMO hotel is a 'treat'.

If OP is a princess for not wanting to put up with that then your bar for acceptable treatment must be on the floor.

Just saw this later post of yours and it made me sad.

You deserve nice things. You deserve to be treated with care and consideration. Everyone does.

At the time I asked the £150 hadn't been clarified and I have already spoken about the issues with the site loading. You're the one who is hung up posting about this one hundred years after the event...

Wow. This doesn’t bode well for the rest of your marriage.

Nowhere does it say that they're married, fortunately.

I can only assume the posters calling the OP spoilt have never set foot in a U.K. hotel much less one in London - there was no way that one for £30 a night was going to be anything other than scuzzy and it’s absolutely ok to have boundaries and say I’m not going to stay in a dirty, unsafe environment.

The thing is, sometimes people organise things like this at the absolute lowest rock-bottom price but want the thanks and the credit as if they'd blown the budget (and then point to "I booked us that weekend away, don't say I never do anything nice" when they don't bother much for the next few birthdays). It's not always selfless.

And you’ve never had anyone do anything nice for you?
That’s really sad, I’m sorry.

You shouldn’t be projecting onto OP though, she’s not being ungrateful, it’s a dogshit ‘gift’.

Wow so many women there to tell other women to up their standards and then when one does, they’re so quick to call them a spoilt brat???? How does that make sense?

Good on you for having standards. I 100% want to be wined and dined for my birthday. Why? Because when it’s my partners birthday I do it for him.

Seems like he wanted to see how little effort he could spend on you.

Bin him@LondonWoes he's a dick, and mean.
I wouldn't have stayed in the flea pit either. However the key thing is really common in flats. My Mum has one key that opens both outside doors and her front door but it doesn't open anyone else's flat door.

Thread title says Partner so thankfully they're not married. I dread to think what he would think was acceptable for the wedding and honeymoon.

As a previous poster said he was trying to do this weekend away for as cheap as he could get away with and it's backfired on him. Good for you for not letting him away with treating you so badly.

Only 18 months in too, imagine the birthday treats after 3 years! (Although he'd probably declare birthdays aren't important so he doesn't need to get you anything, all the while accepting gifts and treats from you for his own birthday)

Enjoy Hamilton and let us hope the tickets he's bought aren't actually for a pub called Hamilton somewhere in London!

This is exactly how I feel. I adore planning trips too so it would’ve been a double treat for me! But it just goes to show what he thinks I’m worth, and I know I’m worth a lot more than that!!!

This has made me sad. Please do, you're worth kindness, treats and nice things.

Ugh, OP dump this loser. Obviously YANBU at all for not wanting to stay in a disgusting HMO where a load of other unknowns seem to have your doorkey. If the boyfriend had booked this thinking it was a great deal but was willing to accept his error and moved hotel with good grace afterwards that would be one thing. But the sulking! UGH, horrid, this one is a total dud. Enjoy a nice solo trip in London.