To have made my partner switch hotels in London?

[LondonWoes]

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

We got on the train today and he started bragging it was £30 a night. That immediately set alarm bells ringing. We arrive and it’s a dump. It’s not even a hotel, but someone’s house with a load of converted rooms. There’s no reception, just a living room, and every door has the same key. That same key also opened the front door. We had been put in a downstairs room, with no window. It was boiling hot.

I told him I wasn’t staying in that hotel. It didn’t feel safe and the vibes were off. He has begrudgingly moved but made me pay, so now im £500 down for my birthday weekend. Was I being unreasonable?

Place marking for the update when he gets woken up by housekeeping saying he should have checked out by now.
Feel a bit sorry for him, because in his head he probably thinks he's done nothing wrong.
Agree with poster above, you're just not suited.
Glad you have managed to make the best of it. Happy Birthday.

Oh OP, I'm sorry your weekend was spoilt BUT I'm sooo glad you haven't just put up with it.

I had a similar weekend once and stayed with the guy for twenty years... honestly it was just endless disappointment. I often think back to that weekend and kick myself for not doing what you've done.

GOOD FOR YOU. The weather is nice this weekend so do some things for yourself and consider dumping this useless idiot your biggest present. X

Have a lovely day out in London. If the weather is good, a jaunt to Greenwich on the Thames clipper would be lovely today or tomorrow. The market is on both days, the museum is completely free [apart from special exhibitions] and it's a different way to see London via the river. It goes from near the Tate. You're also unlikely to run into a moody ex.

The thing is, I’d have happily done a “van life” type thing. I’d love to, it’s one of my dreams in life. I just wasn’t happy with the complete lack of security and the room being dirty!

Feel a bit sorry for him, because in his head he probably thinks he's done nothing wrong.

FFS 🙄what is wrong with YOU??

Dont feel sorry for him.

He KNOWS perfectly well that no person worth their salt would love a room in a HMO, burger and chips for a slap up meal and to not feel safe for their birthday.

"Feeling sorry" for these men is why they feel that crap is acceptable in the first place.

I actually think he’s shown you very clearly where you stand in his priorities. Ski trip with his mates has a much higher priority than you and your birthday.

I didn't say he hadn't done anything wrong, just that he doesn't think he has. I can imagine his face a bit like when you pretend to throw a ball for a dog and they run off and then get all confused when you haven't really thrown it! 😂

I'm impressed with the OP maintaining her standards - this is how men learn the lessons their parents should have taught them - and a little bemused they made it to 18 months

1

I’m shocked that the majority of people here are agreeing with op and down on the boyfriend! He’s gone to a lot of trouble and been treated very ungraciously.

not feeling safe in the Airbnb is totally different from not being safe. Those keys don’t work like that. They don’t open every door. They open your door plus the front door.

the poor guy. I hope he takes the Hamilton tickets back and dumps op really fast. It’s not going to get better.

If you think he has 'gone to a lot of trouble' then you have extremely low expectations.

3 nights. (2 now)

The place was a shithole. I understand that he may have tried to plan it, but it failed and the way he’s acted since is just not something I would expect to put up with. He sulked, he didn’t stay awake after I’d gone out alone, and treated me like shit.

Yes not feeling safe isn’t the same as not actually being safe, but that’s kind of immaterial? It was supposed to be a treat, not a weekend where I felt on edge the entire time.

I agree. He hasn't gone to a lot of trouble at all except for finding the cheapest room possible.

I'm shocked at @Hysterectomynext 's extremely low standards.

😂😂😂😂

The boyfriend (or his mum) is here

There’s a house opposite me. The owner converted what was a 3 bed midterrace ex-1920’s ex-LA to 6 rooms, with what I suspect was illegal or trafficked ‘builders’. He rents them on Abnb. There are zero safety standards, think fire, think security, think electrical and gas. I’ve seen the interior. You can get away with a lot in London, I would never assume that the umbrella of ‘Airbnb’ provides any type of minimal safety or security standards in London.

I live in London and I know exactly the kind of hotel you're talking about. They're more like HMOs and they are fucking grim. Whether the key works or not, or whether the windows open or not, I wouldn't even sit down on the bed fully clothed, those places are so gross.

If my partner thought that taking me to the cheapest, most minging hotel he could find was a 'birthday treat' for me, I'd be beyond insulted. Especially if he'd just booked a luxury ski holiday for himself and his mates.

I'm glad you had a lovely dinner by yourself, OP. And I hope you enjoy starfishing in your clean, reasonably priced hotel bed for the next couple of nights!

I really hope you have a great rest of the weekend @LondonWoes.

As other posters have said, it's about not meeting expectations and the contrast bewteen the skiing holiday and this weekend.

Hamilton is amazing and definitely lives up to the hype. Sounds like you have got the weekend sorted. Well done for taking control and turning it into something you want.

Sorry op. Unless there is some massive backstory that he’s had a sheltered existence up to now this guy is NOT a keeper.
virtually anyone would know that any accomodation in London for £30 would be well dodgy or, at best, some kind of hostel or dorm.

I do hope you enjoyed Hamilton!

Well done @LondonWoes, I think you’re fabulous and have done exactly the right thing and I’m pretty sure 99% of posters agree with you (apart from ‘his pseudo mum’ who seems to be posting in a vain attempt to wind people up or God forbid someone really has such low standards and would put up with a man like this)

I’m staggered they’re even allowed. No fire safety, no safety in general, nothing even remotelY close to security. Horrible!!

I suspect some/many of them aren’t allowed but it takes a while (years even) for them to be picked up and if they are, they just close down and are ‘reborn’ again under another name.

It's not just the 'hotel' - though by its description I wouldn't have stayed, as I would not have felt safe in a windowless room.

It's the sulking and unpleasant behaviour to OP after that, as well as the lying about the restaurant reservation.

I think it is poor communication. I can see why the boyfriend felt 'proud' that he got a bargain room when OP herself had booked a basement room for them earlier this year. He maybe thought that she would be impressed by his financial resourcefulness. It looks like OP may have been wrong about the room security.
Howver she didnt feel safe / ok there. The fact that he then sulked about it instead of saying 'oh, no, I thought it would be okay but it's much less appealing than your basement room bargain. Lets see if we can find somewhere else. Where shall we go for a nice dinner?' isnt good (plus ££££ ski trip priorities)

Clearly he's going to be a bit surprised at being chucked out by housekeeping & the relationship is now over.

OP I hope you enjoy Hamilton. Even with cheap seats (which I got) it's FAB.

OP has confirmed it is three nights.

A friend and I, many years ago now, booked a cheap hotel in Victoria - my god it was a dump - broken window with some newspaper over it.

I'm really surprised that some people are sticking up for the boyfriend and calling the OP a princess.