To have made my partner switch hotels in London?

[LondonWoes]

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

We got on the train today and he started bragging it was £30 a night. That immediately set alarm bells ringing. We arrive and it’s a dump. It’s not even a hotel, but someone’s house with a load of converted rooms. There’s no reception, just a living room, and every door has the same key. That same key also opened the front door. We had been put in a downstairs room, with no window. It was boiling hot.

I told him I wasn’t staying in that hotel. It didn’t feel safe and the vibes were off. He has begrudgingly moved but made me pay, so now im £500 down for my birthday weekend. Was I being unreasonable?

Sure, with no window so if there was a fire, they'd be able to feel like they were in hell to top off the "date". A converted home is not going to have the safety features of a hotel and no window is a "no way" for most normal people.

Oh, that's different. A fob or card quiteboften has foyer door the same, then elevator floor and then individual door programmed, but physical key, I would definitely be out of there.

I think he might’ve thought it was okay because I booked us a studio in the summer that was “underground” (the bottom floor of a home) and had no window. The difference being that it was fully equipped with fire safety equipment, had a fire exit on that floor to a garden courtyard with steps up to the street, was clean, and in a safer area. I would’ve been totally happy with that!

I’m relieved about the tickets, because there are many pubs called The Hamilton and I thought he might be taking you out for a swift half.

OP was being taken for a birthday weekend, so it's pretty obvious she didn't budget to spend £500 and is therefore £500 down.

So your birthday treat was going to be eating burgers in a mouldy bedroom in a shithole hotel? Wow.

😂😂

Proud of you OP!

I’d chuck this one back if I were you, imagine the sort of place he’ll be booking for you in twenty years time!

Well done OP, it’s so nice to hear of women sticking to their boundaries and calling out unacceptable behaviour. If you’d let this sulk slide it would’ve set the tone for every future disagreement- you would never be allowed to say that something isn’t acceptable.

And yet again we have a man who’s probably going to spout off about his ex’s unrealistic expectations and unreasonable behaviour, who’s apparently been brought up never to be considerate and never have to admit he’s been an arse. No wonder they’re having a “loneliness epidemic”. Dudes, really, watch a few films if you lack imagination, and see what you could be doing; think about treating your partner as you would treat yourself. It’s not hard.

Apologies, just caught up with your last post, well done OP, I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend.

So glad you’ve seen the light

Why are you getting so hung up on exactly how much she spent? It's kind of weird! She said just over £150 / night - probably total is something like £480... She was expecting to be taken away for her birthday and has ended up paying almost £500 and is dealing with a partner who now needs to go for a walk on his own to 'cool off' after he did something totally unreasonable. None of this is on OP!!

Well done op
Never lower your standards for a man

No, as explained upthread there are special hotel keys which each only open 1 room door but all open the main door. It's hard to explain the mechanics without diagrams but it is possible.

You aren't suited.

I'm surprised youve made it to 18 months as your expectations and approach is so different.

I book rooms in London quite often when I am working on consecutive days. I have never found one for 30 quid. Even the Generator and other hostels my kids use are more expensive than this. Some university rooms in hols at Xmas and the Summer can be had for the mid-60s and I know one place which does tiny but clean rooms at 75, but I do not think 30 is even possible and if it was I am not sure I would stop there.

I love this for you.

No she doesn't. Have you even read all the OP's updates?

When I was your age I enjoyed weekends away sleeping in the back of my boyfriends van on a mattress

Well, bully for you. We aren't all you. The accommodation sounded awful, and the OP is in an Ibis hotel, not a luxury hotel.

@LondonWoes you did brilliantly. Well done. Is he an ex now?

No, as explained upthread there are special hotel keys which each only open 1 room door but all open the main door. It's hard to explain the mechanics without diagrams but it is possible.

@NoBinturongsHereMate DD has stayed in student accommodation that had this as well, so I know these types of key exist.

Well done for sticking up for yourself OP, enjoy the rest of your weekend!

@LondonWoes

@User28425
I honestly think you sound like a spoiled brat, wanting to be pampered and having hundreds of pounds spent on you for a birthday, claiming no effort has been made when it actually takes a lot of effort to plan a city trip on a budget. Rather than just get you the ticket he's spent time and effort making it more. When I was your age….

OP, I am ancient, and like @User28425 I’m very happy to offer insight and admonishment.

And I’m here to tell you that decades of experience have taught me that one can safely and swiftly dismiss any advice that includes the words ‘when I was your age…’

Another poster in her 60’s and this is my take on it….

Well done for taking out the trash and I hope you have a lovely weekend despite the auspicious start. 👏👏

I can’t abide blokes like him who think nothing of frittering money away on their own hobbies and interests but expect their girlfriends to accept any old shite and be grateful, just because.

You’ve done well to stand up for yourself and a few posters on this thread should take a leaf out of your book and increase their expectations somewhat.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend OP!

It really does sound odd that he thought a takeaway burger, a dive for the weekend wasn't going to make you feel rubbish.
Either discuss a trip to share the cost or do it reasonably.

Also a ski trip even for a weekend is minimum £500 once you have flights, transfers, passes food etc

You seriously think that a place that charges £30 a night in London will have forked out money for decent locks??? 😂😂

@Flakey99

Love you post. Agree wholeheartedly!