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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have made my partner switch hotels in London?

902 replies

LondonWoes · 09/10/2025 15:48

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

We got on the train today and he started bragging it was £30 a night. That immediately set alarm bells ringing. We arrive and it’s a dump. It’s not even a hotel, but someone’s house with a load of converted rooms. There’s no reception, just a living room, and every door has the same key. That same key also opened the front door. We had been put in a downstairs room, with no window. It was boiling hot.

I told him I wasn’t staying in that hotel. It didn’t feel safe and the vibes were off. He has begrudgingly moved but made me pay, so now im £500 down for my birthday weekend. Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
TootSweeties · 09/10/2025 22:13

What have I just read…

Megifer · 09/10/2025 22:16

PurpleChrayn · 09/10/2025 22:10

Such stinginess would make my vagina close up like the genie’s cave in Aladdin.

Never mind closing up, mine would actually smooth over like a Barbie doll....just cease to exist 😂

nettie434 · 09/10/2025 22:18

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 09/10/2025 15:57

What's he got planned for dinner? Yellow sticker sandwiches from Tesco? Going through the bins behind Pret?

Well you weren't far wrong! 😀I really hope the theatre tickets are good but I'm worried they will be stuck behind a pillar in the upper upper circle.

BatchCookBabe · 09/10/2025 22:21

Megifer · 09/10/2025 22:16

Never mind closing up, mine would actually smooth over like a Barbie doll....just cease to exist 😂

Show quote history

R.I.P. vaj. 😆

Apocketfilledwithposies · 09/10/2025 22:25

I'm curious if he's always been like this? 18 months in it can't be the first special occasion for you, how has he been on other birthdays/Xmas/anniversary etc?

I'm wondering if he's always been like this. Or if it's a recent thing and he's seeing how little he can get away with.

There is no way I personally would stay in a shared space/shared accommodation Airbnb, even with a male partner with me I still wouldn't relax.

The five guys birthday treat meal is ..... Interesting.

I'm not a princess or a snob at all. I'm happy with a £1 bar of galaxy or bottle of radox as long as someone has made the effort and been thoughtful I don't mind if I know they can't afford more. My family we all do very cheap token gifts for example or have no gift pacts as we generally are all skint. But that's clearly not the case here given he's just booked a ski break!

I hope you enjoy the rest of your birthday weekend op.

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 09/10/2025 22:26

Chillychock · 09/10/2025 16:06

Have you checked where he’s booked dinner?

how much did the theatre cost? I have just spent £205 on 2 tickets to hunger games!

You don't need to book for McDonald's.

Shouldgivethisup · 09/10/2025 22:29

Never let him see you naked again. That’s the best advice I can think to give you. Happy birthday x

TheTwenties · 09/10/2025 22:39

You can have lock sets made so one key opens several locks. As long as the key you were given only opened the main front door and your own room , not another room you would be fine. Also locks like that are security keys that can only be copied by the lock manufacturers so there is the assurance that there aren’t multiple keys knocking around that people have had cut.

Hope you enjoyed Hamilton- it’s a fantastic production.

pinkyredrose · 09/10/2025 22:52

Shouldgivethisup · 09/10/2025 22:29

Never let him see you naked again. That’s the best advice I can think to give you. Happy birthday x

Agree with this. Never mind my vag, my whole body would've turned inside out at the sight of the first excuse of a hotel room. Imagine being proud of booking that!

Anyway, happy birthday Op, give yourself a present of dumping this tight fisted loser.

Bet he's got a small cock too.

Clangershome · 09/10/2025 22:55

why do people get birthday weekends these days. Entitled!? But yeah not sure I would be loving that at all, 18months in though surely this is not new behaviour? He must have a tight streak which you must know about already?

SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 09/10/2025 23:02

This smacks of a fundamental incompatibility to me. You have different ideas of what equals a good time, different ideas of where to draw the line to save money and worse than that, you’ve got yourself a sulker! A full grown man who rather than engage like an adult over a disagreement is ignoring you and going for walks to “cool off” like a teenage drama queen. None of this is attractive. Imagine if you had an actual serious problem. This is not someone who brings maturity, support and solutions to the table. This is a man-baby

Quantumfisiks · 09/10/2025 23:22

Boomer55 · 09/10/2025 16:16

£30 a night was nuts, but why are you paying £500? 🤷‍♀️. There is a happy medium. 😐

Show quote history

For a long weekend ( 3 nights) in London? £500 is pretty conservative. That’s less than £200 a night

hotels have gone up massively in central London after Covid - even the ‘cheap’ ones

Cherryicecreamx · 09/10/2025 23:32

Please leave this poor excuse of a man!! £30 budget room, a false dinner reservation and yet he's the one who sits and sulks! I hope you enjoy your birthday and meet a nice gentleman in doing so 😅

Cherryicecreamx · 09/10/2025 23:32

Please leave this poor excuse of a man!! £30 budget room, a false dinner reservation and yet he's the one who sits and sulks! I hope you enjoy your birthday and meet a nice gentleman in doing so 😅

99bottlesofkombucha · 09/10/2025 23:37

I’d have thought £30 in London gets you a bunk in a room with 7 other beds in a hostel. Unbelievable. Do you think he will go to an actual restaurant on his ski weekend?

Quantumfisiks · 09/10/2025 23:39

While he has behaved like an idiot, asking someone to pay for a long weekend in London is a big ask.

as you’ve already said, £500 gets you an ibis. With travel, food and entertainment for two people, its easily going to another £500.

you say he’s going skiing, but it will probably have cost him less than this trip.

there are very few people in their 20’s who can throw this amount of cash around

I’m in my 40’s, have a partner pf 2.5 years and would never expect him to pay for me like this. He could easily afford it, but I’d think it was really excessive.

id be happy for him to buy me a lovely dinner, but id go halves on accommodation, travel etc.

Okiedokie123 · 10/10/2025 00:02

He clearly thinks very little of you. I’d ditch him and enjoy the rest of the weekend on your own. Put him back in the pond.

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/10/2025 00:04

Quantumfisiks · 09/10/2025 23:39

While he has behaved like an idiot, asking someone to pay for a long weekend in London is a big ask.

as you’ve already said, £500 gets you an ibis. With travel, food and entertainment for two people, its easily going to another £500.

you say he’s going skiing, but it will probably have cost him less than this trip.

there are very few people in their 20’s who can throw this amount of cash around

I’m in my 40’s, have a partner pf 2.5 years and would never expect him to pay for me like this. He could easily afford it, but I’d think it was really excessive.

id be happy for him to buy me a lovely dinner, but id go halves on accommodation, travel etc.

Except that she didnt ask him to pay it

My partner surprised me with a long weekend in London, for my birthday. He got us theatre tickets and told me he had sorted the hotel out.

Nayyercheekyfeckers · 10/10/2025 00:11

If a room hasn't got a window, then it legally cannot be classed as a bedroom. I would report the establishment. Personally I wouldn't have booked an alternative hotel. I woud have just flounced off home if he wasn't prepared to pay. However, the good news is that, based upon his 30 quid a night expenditure, given that you have now treated him to £500 worth of hotel accommodation, I think that you're just covered his birthday presents for the next 16 years!!

WeightLossGoal2024 · 10/10/2025 00:23

Woodwalk · 09/10/2025 21:30

To be clear - I don't think a boyfriend or 18 months (especially if they don't live together, although this is unclear) HAS to spend hundreds of pounds on his girlfriend's birthday. Of course not.

But to 'treat' someone to a weekend away in an unsafe dump and then AFTER THEY HAVE PAID FOR BETTER SAFE ACCOMODATION then turn up with a fast food takeaway at 4.30pm for dinner is ridiculous.

If he wasn't willing to pay the price for a 3 night stay in London but wanted to go to the play (and personally I can understand not wanting to do a 3 night stay at the normal cost - that whole city is extortionate) he should have got matinee tickets for a day trip. Or booked one night - in advance he could have got something for £90.

You choose what present you give someone. He didn't need to choose this - an approximation of a nice trip isn't the same thing as a nice trip. And I'd rather have not gone at all than gone and stayed somewhere gross and dangerous.

This 👏👏👏👏

User28425 · 10/10/2025 00:37

I honestly think you sound like a spoiled brat, wanting to be pampered and having hundreds of pounds spent on you for a birthday, claiming no effort has been made when it actually takes a lot of effort to plan a city trip on a budget. Rather than just get you the ticket he's spent time and effort making it more. When I was your age I enjoyed weekends away sleeping in the back of my boyfriends van on a mattress. I'm glad I wasn't precious as we had a lot of amazing unplanned experiences all around the UK we couldn't have afforded if I wanted to be wined and dined in luxury.

I stay in mid range Hotels in London frequently, and I've just had a look at the 30-40 a night rooms available on Airbnb and I'd be perfectly happy with them.

IridiumSky · 10/10/2025 00:37

jazzybelle · 09/10/2025 15:55

Were the theatre tickets on the back row of the balcony?!

Yes, but there was only one ticket. He went in first then let his wife in through the emergency exit door.

What kind of bloke takes a woman to a thirty quid hotel? In London.

Christ, what a tight-arsed loser.

GingersOwner26 · 10/10/2025 01:04

So, did you end up going out on your own and sending Sulky McSulkface away in the end? Or is he still there?

pinkyredrose · 10/10/2025 01:11

User28425 · 10/10/2025 00:37

I honestly think you sound like a spoiled brat, wanting to be pampered and having hundreds of pounds spent on you for a birthday, claiming no effort has been made when it actually takes a lot of effort to plan a city trip on a budget. Rather than just get you the ticket he's spent time and effort making it more. When I was your age I enjoyed weekends away sleeping in the back of my boyfriends van on a mattress. I'm glad I wasn't precious as we had a lot of amazing unplanned experiences all around the UK we couldn't have afforded if I wanted to be wined and dined in luxury.

I stay in mid range Hotels in London frequently, and I've just had a look at the 30-40 a night rooms available on Airbnb and I'd be perfectly happy with them.

Way to miss the point! If your fella says he's surprising you with a weekend in London you don't imagine a barely usable room in someone's house and a takeaway burger!

Presumably you chose to go away in your boyfriends van and you knew in advance what kind of trip you'd be having. It doesn't really compare with OP's situation.

She didn't want to be pampered, she didn't ask for the trip it was his idea but he executed it extremely poorly meaning she'd have had a very uncomfortable stay had they stayed in the original room. Plus he hadn't reserved dinner when he said he had. It just smacks of not giving a fuck.

Itiswhysofew · 10/10/2025 01:20

Years ago, I said to DP that we need to stay in at least a 4 hotel in Manhatten, so he booked a 3. We arrived, hotel was dreadful and I told him I wasn't going to spend my first visit to NY in a grotty hotel. So, we moved to a fab hotel and he still paid.

Your partner's wrong to expect you to pay. He was cheap in booking a nasty hotel. It's all about the experience, not just somewhere to lay your head at night.