To ask if most straight men are attracted much younger women?

[RubyTuesday10]

Had a depressing moment at work today, male colleague played a Jimmy Carr stand-up clip on his phone and it went along the lines of “if I had to pick my favourite child it would be my neighbour’s hot daughter.” The other men with him laughed at it. I couldn’t help feeling a bit nauseous and it’s made me question whether many older straight men actually do fantasise about girls in their late teens or whatever. Perhaps I have been naive to think it was something that just appealed to a minority of perverts. One or two of them have daughters too and it just strikes me as odd that they could even laugh at a joke like that. Am I naive to feel this way?

The term is hebephilia - so it’s abnormal whichever way you look at it. See Jimmy Savile.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/hebephilia/amp

Because men are not the same as women! They are very different both from a biological, and an evolutionary perspective. Honestly, I don’t know how you can be in your early 40s and not have realised this.

I'm confused. I've referenced him watching porn in my post.

I think some women are looking great into their 50s nowadays, but there comes a point when you have to accept you are not as attractive as you were. I hate the notion of 'hitting the wall' but there is some truth to it. It applies to men too, they just seem to have a longer shelf life and the dating pool is much wider for them.

This thread is hugely depressing.

Sadly I think you’re right.

I’ve unfortunately seen some of the ladies my husband ogles online and they are young. 19-early 20s young.

I’m mid 40s and feeling crap beyond measure.

Maybe because I’m married with someone that’s had never been that way 🤷🏻‍♀️. Not all of us choose misogynistic men .

Well you can not accept it if you like, but that is the definition of paedophillia.

At 15, I could get into clubs and bars, as could all my friends at that age, and we would regularly get chatted up buy older men (though obviously they had no idea that we were only 15).

From experience, I can tell you that most men can’t tell the difference between a 15 year old and a 20 year old from looks alone. Boys tend to look younger at 15, but girls develop quickly.

So you claim all men are pedophiles ? We go back to what some of us are saying while some men might like 15 year olds some will not .

I don’t think the dating pool is good for men beyond 40 unless they have some wealth

I was getting into clubs at 14! But I know for a fact my figure at 15 was not the same as it was at 20. Not even remotely.

Regardless of our anecdotes, the average age for puberty to complete in girls is between 16 & 18. So you could make an argument that men fancy 18 year olds, but the majority are not looking at 15 year olds and thinking 'phwoar.'

I don’t think it’s helpful to conflate this with actual pedophilia.

It must be abysmal for women over 40 then. I met my DH when he was in his early 40s.

Mitchell

I very much doubt that social competence beat everything for early humans. To survive, all they needed to do was cooperate with others in their tribe, in terms of hunting and defending themselves from threats. Beyond that, physical fitness would be the best determinant of survival. I’m not quite sure why you keep shoehorning red pills into the discussion.

That is not the definition of paedophilia. It’s actually ephebophilia.

Possibly but some of the responses here suggest otherwise. I think the reason it probably affected me initially was because one of the guys laughing was a man in his early sixties who I have always thought was a decent family guy, with a 19 year old daughter, one of the nicest blokes I’ve ever met, never said anything remotely sexist. When I commented it was a grim joke he looked a bit defensive and actually said “well over sixteen is legal!” It was just so depressing. I’m not sure if blaming biology lets men off the hook a bit too much, surely we can expect them to have evolved a little bit.

I stand by my point that you're over thinking it.

I'm in my mid-40s and sometimes I look at guys who are probably early-20s and think they are gorgeous!!! I imagine a lot of women do!!

Can I look at young males and think they're attractive and find them sexually appealing? Absolutely! Do I have naughty thoughts about them? Of course.

Would I actually have sex with them? Of course not!!!!

If women can look at much younger males of the species and find their appearance appealing, then so can men when it comes to what they think/feel when they look at younger females.

Finding someone attractive is a very different concept to actually acting on it.

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I don’t think you realise just how slowly evolution operates. Humans have existed for around 300,000 years. Modern civilisation has only been around for around 1,500 years, or 0.5% of that. Frankly, it’s impressive that we’ve been able to adapt as well as we have.

It was a joke from a shock comedian. It is not a commentary on male psychology nor a cautionary tale for women.

And nowhere did it specify that the hypothetical girl next door was below the age of consent, so use of the words pervert and paedophile seem a little clumsy.

Rather than bandy these terms about when describing shock humour or aesthetic preferences, we need to reserve those words for illegal and harmful behaviours, lest we risk trivialising them and diminishing their gravity when applied to actually acts of coercion and child sexual abuse, which would be counter productive to combating actual abuse and crime.

Ironically in my experience, it only tends to be men who are getting on a bit themselves. Young men are usually more focused on how attractive the woman is rather than her age. I suppose its partly because attractive young men know they will be able to attract young women, so its not a novelty or a prize, whereas the aging ones have something to prove to themselves.

Logically (due to typical life spans) heterosexual women should partner with men who are a bit younger than themselves 5-10 years. The problem with middle aged men is that they tend to "let themselves go" :)

Blimey OP, you must have been living under a rock. I'm old enough to remember when mini skirts first appeared. Men of all ages (from 16 to 90) were walking into lamposts and falling off their bikes whilst ogling the teenagers wearing them! Do you honestly think that blokes of 60 (or any age) don't like fit young tits and arse? They might not all want to specifically date them, but my god they love to look.

Yes I think most men are attracted to younger woman I guess when purely physical attraction its biological. When wanting a relationship its driven by ego too

The joke, this is his type of humour I do not want comedy censored and he knows he is telling the truth about many men an uncomfortable truth we don't want to face. Men we know, we love, we respect, we are friends with, brothers, fathers and so one a significant number will be attracted to children, teenage girls (and boys).

I received a huge amount of unwanted creepy attention from men when I was about 15 (looked younger abotu 13) especially when wearing my school uniform, young girls are still having to deal with this. And it wasn't a few men it was many men

Exactly this. Unfortunately women are convinced it's a few "perverts". It isn't, it's the majority of bokes. Their husbands, brothers, dads, that kindly old boss of theirs. Obviously they wouldn't all openly cat call a15 year old in the street, but most will cast a crafty glance in their direction.