To wonder what people actually expect and why they can’t just be happy to live simply?

[Terrazzomazzo]

So many posts on here of people saying that they are running out of money and “I have no fun money” et. Why can’t people just be happy that they have enough to pay their mortgage pay their bills and feed their family and clothe their children? When did holidays , excess “stuff” and weekends of fun days out and take away etc become a given right and expectation?

@Bra848tofjn I don't know anyone that renovates rooms just because it buys a new sofa or toaster every 2 years. And I live in a relatively well off neighbourhood.

The only neighbour who changes their care regularly are 2 older men.

The only people pretending that money doesn't matter either are blind to the amount they actually have, or trying to kid themselves.

Indeed

Well OP, I’ve studied, worked, had DC and I’m not cash rich ( or asset rich) Bills are paid, home is owned and there’s little left at the end of the month. I’ve now been struck with cancer and can’t work. I’m sure as fuck, going to have a take away coffee or a take away if I want. Life is shit enough as it is. I’m not about to start making it even shitter, by just existing!

The person working 40 hours on minimum wage is probably not buying a car at all let alone paying for parking.

This summer I went to several concerts and operas.

People have been to musical performances for decades, again it's not a new thing.

this too.

@Enigma54

Parent shouldn’t be entertaining their kids. In the 70s we entertained ourselves with next to no tv, no phones and far less toys.

We never had the money to entertain our kids 20 odd years ago and had to find enjoyment with what we could afford. If you don’t build that skill you’ll never be happy .

I'm not broke or whining. You say you're happy with a simple life, yet your posts radiate contempt for other people's choices and the mere idea that they might want more than a basic existence. Guess what - some people will always have more than others and that's life. You can moan all day about big cars and phones and all the stuff you think they're 'wasting' their resources and it won't make one blind bit of difference. You're not happy with your lot, you are as bitter as it gets.

I am 53 and it happened in my lifetime. When I was a child, holidays abroad were a really unusual, if people did go on holiday it was a camping. Life’s pleasures were a visit to the beach, long walks in the countryside and a run out in the car.

I think things changed in the 1980’s when credit cards became more available.

I’ve returned to that life again in recent years, haven't been abroad since 2019 and love nothing more than a long dog walk in the countryside.

So I can.pay for DDs hobby and we can have some occasional long weekends camping and once a year a cheap last minute overseas.

But you are judging others for holidays 🤔

or maybe different taste and interest?

I find no pleasure at all in staying home pottering around. I am grateful we have essentials and no bombs falling on my head, but I don't find being home remotely interesting in itself. I know what my home looks like, I made it perfect for me, it's well pretty 😂but it's nothing else than a base.

I think not having the freedom to enjoy yourself is what contributes to poor mental health.

And if you change your expectations about what "enjoying yourself" means, and find pleasure in smaller simple things, you'll have a LOT more freedom to enjoy yourself.

feeling guilty as hell because they can't do anything in the summer when all their friends entertain the kids for at least several weeks

Again, they shouldn't be feeling guilty because kids shouldn't need entertaining for several weeks! Give them some books or let them out in the park or garden, let them use their imaginations to entertain themselves. The kids will be just fine.

Toddlers cost nothing to entertain though. It's older children with hobbies and expensive clothing tastes that are expensive.

I live in a deprived area and the poverty is almost palpable. We have a community kitchen at the local church and one of the women who runs it was at a local community consultation event that I attended, She said that pre cost of living crisis they were feeding about 50 people at the weekly free lunch, these days it is around 150 and they have to do 3 sittings. The food bank now has permanent premises, a real sign of the times and the queue stretches down the pavement. Loads of the houses that used to be bought by first time buyers are now only bought by landlords who turn them into unofficial HMOs and do not repair and mantain them. There is a school on my street and when I see the little ones trotting off to lessons with their bright eyes I just hope that things improve before they are adults. We all need treats and things that enrich our lives.

I think things changed in the 1980’s when credit cards became more available.

No it would be the introduction of the package holiday and cheap air line carriers eg Ryanair. I used to fly around Europe in the 90s for £25 a ticket.

They aren't though - this is just "feels" - if you did the maths a teacher and nurse with 2 preschool children in the south of England are basically stuffed. Certainly no money for a flashy car or the latest iphone.

for your own sanity, spending money to entertain the toddler is a blessing.
I can't imagine anything worst than having to entertain said toddler with nothing but my imagination and nothing else 😂

I think the point is most people can’t cover their bills or can only cover their bills at the moment so that naturally wants you want more. I do agree that we don’t need probably 80% of what is in the shops, and defo 90% of what we are influenced to buy on social media. But experiences with our children are unforgettable memories and that doesn’t need to be an exotic holiday but I can’t take my two teens on a day trip now for any less that £100 and that’s conservative being very conservative.

We’ve lost our community. We’ve lost our support systems. Any friggin Joy that we used to get out of just being together has been eroded by being told to get on your bike and start looking for jobs outside of your immediate ecosystem.
So now when we’ve got no jobs, or compensation financially for doing so, we’ve got nothing

Parent shouldn’t be entertaining their kids. In the 70s we entertained ourselves with next to no tv, no phones and far less toys.

phones didn't exist so no surprise there. Health & safety & safeguarding is a thing now

Yes but are you replacing your kitchen every two years, driving a new SUV and upgrading your iphone everytime a new model comes out - the PP I was replying to says everyone is doing that and I disagree.

Oh I’m very happy, I don’t need endless crap and expense to make me happy so why wouldn’t I be. I’ve nearly paid off my mortgage and will be ok in retirement, enjoy good health ( I’m aware that can change)and I live in a safe country. Being a bit broke when the kids were younger and paying a mortgage instead of going abroad every year or having a nice kitchen or bathroom was worth it. Why wouldn’t I be happy? I’m just not happy with what people class as basic now or the whining re not having money left over when money is very much being spent beyond the basics but the “ basics”seem to be endlessly growing. It’s worrying as it can only cause poor MH.

I would be far happier to live even more simply than I do if light, peace and calm were less expensive. I don’t want a sodding new toaster, I want to live in a place where the walls are thick enough that I can’t hear my neighbours tv; where I get natural light; where I can wake naturally at weekends instead of being woken by banging about in the street; where I can’t smell weed smoke and there isn’t rubbish and broken fridges in the verges. As I can’t afford this I am self medicating with food, booze and days out. “Simplicity” costs a lot - it costs enough to buy a detached house in a calm area.

But they do.Nearly everybody is walking round with a grands worth of phone, driving increasingly expensive cars whilst needing more and more as the basics,living longer and unhealthier ( at the expense of the tax by payer)…..

why is the taxpayer funding phones & cars?