To wonder how other families get to the end of the month?

[gundigirl]

DH and I are both middle earners, with a combined income of around £90k. We have one DD in state school – no fees, but she does a few clubs and after-school activities, which add up.
With the rising cost of living, I’ve had to take on a side hustle. I actually enjoy it, but still – without that extra income, I wouldn't have been able to cover recent repair bills, for example.
I honestly don’t understand how other families (especially those with two or more DC, or just one working parent) make it to the end of the month. I’ve never felt more financially squeezed.
I’m not exactly a super-saver – I like the odd hair appointment – but I do try to save or invest a bit each month when I can.
What am I missing?

Must be tough struggling on 90k
🙄

Didn’t take long. Sigh!

They’re spending less.

The difference is usually housing costs, debts, childcare or school fees.

Seriously?
didn't take long?
90k
there are people surviving on stuff from food banks

You're obviously overspending somewhere. There's 2 adults and 1 toddler in my house and I feel the squeeze at the end of the month but that's because we live on £30k. If I had triple that then the only reason I'd struggle was from overspending somewhere

A generation ago a family of three could exist comfortably on one middle income. Now two middle incomes are a squeeze.

its not anything you’re doing or not doing OP, its factors beyond your control.

I know.
But come on, read the room.

OP, it's very hard to say where you're going wrong without knowing your expenditure but our household income is less than yours, with a number of kids, 2 cars etc, we manage holidays here and abroad, trips out, eat out once a week or so, and we're definitely not broke at the end of the month.

What are your outgoings? I am a bit surprised you’re struggling, we earn a bit more at £120k, but we have 2 DCs with one in nursery so have high childcare fees, and live in the south east. We live comfortably and save a reasonable amount each month, have a good amount of spending money each and have at least one holiday each year.

We had c. £90k income until DH died and loved very comfortably with two teen DC.

Now I live very comfortably on much less.

In my world I honestly don't know how you send £90k pa on an "ordinary" lifestyle.

The only difference I can think of is that we never over committed ourselves. We loved in a more modest house than we would have if we'd taken the maximum mortgage, only bought a car when we could pay cash, wouldn't have dreamed of putting a holiday on a credit card etc etc

That said, I recognise our housing costs reduced in real terms the longer we stayed in the house.

I don't want to be rude but I'm really intrigued to see your bills and what you spend your money on

Oh come on - they earn 90k between them and have one kid in state school - there’s absolutely no reason to be struggling at the end of the month!

Agreed. I know families on a similar income and the above will be the difference. We have the same family income as a close friend but we fair better as our mortgage is much cheaper (bought long before them) and our childcare is much cheaper as no longer have little ones. They ate also paying off a loan for a wedding. We are not. This makes us a good few hundred pounds a month better off (probably in the region of £600-800) but we actually have the same earnings coming in. It will get better OP.

You need to give a breakdown of income and outgoings, to give people an understanding of your situation and how you may be able to change your approach.

I think in general most people are finding their costs are going up faster than their wages however - which means whatever your income, it can feel like it’s getting more difficult to maintain the same level of lifestyle as before.

You must just have higher costs. Is your mortgage/rent high?

Our household income is lower than that (not massively, about £80k), we live in the SE, we have two children including one in nursery, and we save £1,000 a month. I don’t feel like we scrimp, although I’m always surprised by what people spend on the threads where people talk about their grocery shopping.

How much is your mortgage?

Same set up, same thing and I constantly think what I could do to earn more.

What are you missing? It's usually childcare and housing costs.

Pointless without expenditure.

Some are on less and take a 10k holiday each year without flinching.

Its a complete disconnection from reality to think everyone's in the same position.

I'm a single mum, with one child, on slightly more than half your income.

What are your commitments, OP? Mortgage is my big one. Two cars? I have one second hand hatchback, bought for cash four years ago. Our heating isn't on yet.

Food - I cook from scratch every night. We do not eat out or have takeaways. Grocery bill is £60 a week for two, including basic toiletries.

DS - gets basic clothes - Next, H&M etc, no labels.

We each have a 6-weekly haircut. No gym membership. I parkrun, ds17 has a Saturday job at a leisure centre so gets gym & swimming free.

Holiday this year was a week in Greece.

I watch every penny. It's the only way. 🙁

It will depend entirely on where they live.

There are loads of places where a fairly modest house will cost you £500k+ and the mortgage on that could cost c. £3k pm.

A choice, but if that's what you've always known and what everyone you know is doing, it feels normal.

On the off chance you're actually looking to do something constructive rather than just wanting Mumsnet to join you in moaning about how awful it is that you're no longer able to spend how you like and put money aside each month, have a look at:

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

My guess is that you're spending more than you think on stuff that you could do without and don't appreciate.

yeah you're right. Unless you're missing out a vast financial outlay (debt/5 holidays a year/massive mortgage) you absolutely shouldn't be struggling on that amount with 1 teen. I mean, you must know where your money goes better than we do! What has changed over the last few years?

It’s all relative…a good joint income doesn’t have to equal a comfortable lifestyle.

OP you need to budget properly, literally track every penny, if you can’t account for where it all goes.

But they wouldn't qualify for a mortgage that costs over £3k pm on £90k pa, so that's not it.