To wonder how other families get to the end of the month?

[gundigirl]

DH and I are both middle earners, with a combined income of around £90k. We have one DD in state school – no fees, but she does a few clubs and after-school activities, which add up.
With the rising cost of living, I’ve had to take on a side hustle. I actually enjoy it, but still – without that extra income, I wouldn't have been able to cover recent repair bills, for example.
I honestly don’t understand how other families (especially those with two or more DC, or just one working parent) make it to the end of the month. I’ve never felt more financially squeezed.
I’m not exactly a super-saver – I like the odd hair appointment – but I do try to save or invest a bit each month when I can.
What am I missing?

Three of us, half your monthly income, fairly big mortgage (for us)
We spend around 130 a week on supermarket shopping, no hair appointments, cheap.hobbys snd a few short uk.breaks a year. We have 2 older cars.
We save a little each month.
If you are not going into debt for your lifestyle I think you're doing better than you think.

You either have a mortgage which is beyond your real affordability, or you are rubbish with money. That is a very healthy income and a lot more than most families have. you should struggle at all. if you want meaningful advice, post your outgoings. Otherwise, any advice is pointless.

That’s not even minimum wage though. You can’t be working full time. And if that’s your entire income you’ll get some benefits.

They have smaller mortgages
Get benefit top ups
Don't save as much

school fees.

Unaffordable on 90k unless you are mortgage free.

But how much is your mortgage???

90k is the equivalent to 70k 5 yrs ago

You must have huge mortgage payments or both cars on finance. Otherwise, I've no idea how you'd spend everything by the end of the month.

Guess you bought a bigger house or a posher location that you can actually afford

Unlikely

It is above min wage. I work 40hrs a week and get 28k
on min wage it would be £25,397

You either have a mortgage which is beyond your real affordability, or you are rubbish with money

That mortgage could have gone up recently and I bet it's cheaper than renting

I earn £36k before tax. I have three pets, own my house (three bed terrace in London), run a car and have one independent child and one at uni. We survive fine, and I afford some luxuries like a monthly facial (but not a weekly cleaner which I wish I could)! We go abroad every other year.
When my DH was alive he earned £500k (and he paid about £200k tax on that, so £300k net). We had a house more than twice the size in a more affluent area with a large mortgage, my kids went to private school, we both had cars (run of the mill, not anything like a Range Rover) and his older kids lived with us and his wife got alimony. We still made a budget, but it was a good budget. Sure we could go on holiday every year, but staying at my parents house abroad rather than some fancy resort.
Anyway my point is we had a vastly higher income, but also vastly higher expenses. You cut your coat according to your cloth. Look at your outgoings to figure out why you are struggling.

90k sounds like a lot of money but well it isn't when you have to pay for everything and nothing is subsidised as it would be for low earners. 2 people earning 45k or one 60k and one 30k earn around £5350 per month (after pensions, ni, tax) if you both still have an old student loan you can knock another £300 off. This doesn't go far for any family, who have a mortgage and run 2 cars. The mortgage alone could be £1500+.

We fall into this bracket, our income used to be higher but my husband career changed 2 years ago. We are lucky we bought our house 10 years ago with a large deposit that we saved before we had children, so our mortgage is really small compared to most people's and we only run 1 car as we both wfh. We can keep these big costs down, but then everything else is soaring (our food bill is huge and we aren't big eaters with expensive taste!). We have 3 primary aged children who go to 50,000 activities, but we don't spend lots on going out/eating out, though we still do something every weekend. We are still managing to save a decent amount each month, but if we added a much bigger mortgage and an extra car it would soon eat up the amount we save.

And there are people with 15 million quid in the bank. OP is neither of those. Get a grip.

If after tax then fair enough but there is a colossal difference between 90k before or after tax so I wouldn’t be assuming it’s after!!

Exactly this, it would be certainly be no cheaper us renting than our £1300
mortgage

OP does not have ‘triple’ of that 30K though. They will pay more tax and NI and less likely to be entitled to any means tested benefits (UC). 90k is NOT triple 30k once this has been factored in.

This is our budget, we earn a little more but you need to account for absolutely everything to make it work…this is ours.

Me 3100
DP 4100
CB 280
Total 7480
Housing
Mortgage: 1900.
Insurances(life, house): 150
Total Housing: 2050
Utilities
Electricity 150
Waste collection: 30
Broadband & TV: 70
Mobile phones x3: 60
Total Utilities: 310
Food & Groceries
Groceries & household food: 500
Dining out / takeaways: 200
Total Food: 700
Transportation
Fuel: 250
Car insurance & tax: 150
Maintenance & NCT: 100
Public transport / Parking: 20
Total Transport: 520
Education & Kids
School books, uniforms, fees: 50
Activities, sports, clubs: 50
Pocket money/treats: 60
Total Kids & Education: 160
Entertainment & Lifestyle
Family outings, hobbies, gifts: 200
Subscriptions, books, etc.: 60
Miscellaneous expenses (haircuts,nails): 60
Personal spends: 200 x 2 = 400
Total Entertainment: 730
Savings & Miscellaneous
Emergency fund / Savings: 2,000
Holidays (monthly allocation): 500
Clothing: 200
Miscellaneous buffer: 300
Total Savings & Misc.: 3,000
TOTAL MONTHLY SPENDING: 7,480

We have a similar income and whilst I would never describe ourselves as struggling, I do wonder how other people afford so many luxuries. I rarely purchase new clothes or shoes for myself, and I'd love to update our furniture but it's not really an option if we want to prioritise other non-essentials (like holidays, family meals or days out, etc).

I somehow still manage to feel "broke" when I'm surrounded by people who are constantly shopping.

Your take home is not really important. What is important is the difference between your incomings and outgoings.

Same as 30k isn't really 30k and not having UC on top

How much are the cars costing you?

Lots of people can afford those things.

Not everyone has taken on huge mortgages, spends £200 a week on groceries (like the OP), has huge commuting costs or children doing expensive activities.

Honestly, it's only on MN where I see people earning nearly 100k a year and not being able to afford coffee and takeaway.

Can you do a list of what you get for £60 as sure would help some out

Nails I get done every 3w for £30

so £10 a week. Thats my one treat