To wonder how other families get to the end of the month?

[gundigirl]

DH and I are both middle earners, with a combined income of around £90k. We have one DD in state school – no fees, but she does a few clubs and after-school activities, which add up.
With the rising cost of living, I’ve had to take on a side hustle. I actually enjoy it, but still – without that extra income, I wouldn't have been able to cover recent repair bills, for example.
I honestly don’t understand how other families (especially those with two or more DC, or just one working parent) make it to the end of the month. I’ve never felt more financially squeezed.
I’m not exactly a super-saver – I like the odd hair appointment – but I do try to save or invest a bit each month when I can.
What am I missing?

How do you save 1k per month on that salarary. Very few outgoings?

These kinds of posts never get any sympathy, it’s all “tiny violin” comments.
The usual advice goes along the lines of: get rid of the car and spend three hours commuting each way, loads of people do that; walk 30 miles to work, plenty manage; downsize to a one-bed flat, stop eating avocados, cancel Netflix, shop in Aldi, grow your own veg (tricky in a one-bed, but apparently everyone does that too) and so on.
Sometimes there are genuinely helpful comments, though, like going through utility providers or insurance policies

It's disposable income that counts - it might sound like a lot but high bills / high mortgage could wipe out your wage.
i struggle every month as a single mother of 3 of half of that, but to some my wage might appear high.

@Bottleplant I’m so sorry for your loss.
You sound amazing; I think your typo of “lived” to “loved” probably sums you up.
💐

Our income is about half that and we have 4 children but we don’t have a mortgage.

I spend a lot on groceries (£650 pcm) but we don’t eat out or get takeaways very often. Mainly other peoples’ birthdays or when we’re on holiday. I buy a lot of stuff in bulk which is a big hit at the time but then saves money in the long run (only stuff I know we’re going to get through)

We’re stingy with our heating and hot water.

I buy almost everything for the children and myself on vinted or in charity shops.

Our cars are both second hand cars we bought outright.

We don’t have any debt or buy anything on credit.

We still save and have holidays and I still have spare money to spend on frivolous shit like fancy skincare.

It’s probably the lack of mortgage rather than not eating out though!

Are you joking, or do you genuinely not realise how tone deaf it is to complain about struggling on 90k while there are other families on a fraction of that amount?

On the contrary, OP has received lots of good advice here.

Who are the people getting their nails and hair done, eating out, deliveroo and takeaways, coffees etc? Who can afford to throw money around like this?

Literally everyone I know!

Also my husband is forever switching utility company and savings accounts to get a better rate and higher interest. It does actually make a big difference.

OP, I suggest consulting AI instead of Mumsnet if you prefer not to talk in person with specialists. Mumsnet is a very toxic place for anyone genuinely seeking help.

OP, this is MN. If you're anywhere above the breadline, you'll be completely torn apart. And if you even think about complaining about your income, you'll be hit with phrases like "read the room," "check your privilege," and all the other clichés.

These people are like frogs that have been boiled so long they no longer feel the pain of being taken advantage of. They seem content with being poorer overall, as long as they receive a few scraps in benefits and handouts, instead of advocating for more wealth creation, lower taxes, and more efficient public spending.

Well it would entirely depend on what's in the bloody basket wouldn't it!

🙄🙄🙄

£180 a week on groceries is ridiculous. What are you buying? Champagne and caviar?
I spend about £70 a week on 3 of us and that’s still buying a fair amount in Waitrose.
Cut down on your groceries and you could save 80 to £90 a week

Not a salary. Pension. Mortgage paid off.

My biggest monthly expense is food.

We manage pretty well on much less than you op (despite living in the home counties) probably because we are very low maintenance and pretty frugal. We don't tend to spend money we don't need to spend, neither of us like fancy things or shopping. We plan our meals carefully etc. I think its a mindset thing.

I know the answer , if you are struggling on 90k ( assuming after tax ) then you are living way above your means . I can only assume you have massive outgoing probably with big house costs and car payment costs maybe ??

£180 food bill is rather large, we spend less than that on 3 adults

What ?? We spend at least £250 a week ( 5 of us ) it’s fairly easy and no we don’t smoke or drink

If the £90k of gross income is a net mothly income of somewhere between £4,795 (if £90k + £0, minus 10% pension, minus tax & NI, no child benefit) and £5,560 (if £45k + £45k, minus 10% pension, minus tax & NI, plus child benefit for one child).

Of that how much goes on each of the big bills (rent/mortgage, council tax, car repayments, other fixed car costs such as insurance, electricity/gas, phone/broadband/mobile, etc)? How much then goes on other essentials and near-essentials (food, commuting costs, etc)? How much does that then leave?

Things definitely have got a lot dearer: comparing 4 years ago to now, my mortgage is 20% more each month now (same house, no extra borrowing, no shortening of repayment period), and my car payments would be 180% more if we were to replace our car with the equivalent model of car now - so things have definitely got dearer, but at the same time you're being quite light on details.

Well done BMW6! That must feel nice. 😊.

So fed up of these posts. Try earning 28k a year before tax with nothing left at the end of each month or money for treats/holidays/after school activities and thats supposed to be a good wage in this area....

It really does, and often with little noticeable difference in lifestyle because you're just paying less for similar stuff by shopping around, using discount codes, cashback etc.

Plus saving up and earning interest instead of borrowing and paying interest.

Like Lancashirebutterpie shows, the difference in cost can be hundreds of pounds a month, I not more.

Op says there are 3 of them and there are three of us in our family.
They spend £180 a week on groceries a week and we spend a hell of a lot less.
What are your ???? For? What don’t you believe?

To be fair, there are places in the country where someone earning £28k could have more money left over after rent/mortgage + council tax + commuting costs, than someone in another part of the country earning £50k would have.

I think it can be case of lifestyle expanding to whatever you earn.

I think everyone, irrelevant of their earnings, have felt the pinch in recent years.
That's why so many people are shocked by how little they seem to have at the end of the month.