To wonder how other families get to the end of the month?

[gundigirl]

DH and I are both middle earners, with a combined income of around £90k. We have one DD in state school – no fees, but she does a few clubs and after-school activities, which add up.
With the rising cost of living, I’ve had to take on a side hustle. I actually enjoy it, but still – without that extra income, I wouldn't have been able to cover recent repair bills, for example.
I honestly don’t understand how other families (especially those with two or more DC, or just one working parent) make it to the end of the month. I’ve never felt more financially squeezed.
I’m not exactly a super-saver – I like the odd hair appointment – but I do try to save or invest a bit each month when I can.
What am I missing?

Probably got a big MN house with large kitchen and fancy tap and overspent on the mortgage

How much is the mortgage?

£180 a week on food for two adults and a primary school aged child is loads. (I’ve assumed primary school because of your mention of wraparound care, but to be honest, even if it was two adults and a teen £180 would be high).

But to answer your question, I budget. I have a good income, live in a cheaper part of the country, run a modest car and have two holidays a year. I know my income and outgoings to the penny, set aside money for annual expenses and pay myself into savings at the start of each month. Single parent to two teens, I don’t earn as much as you and have higher taxes (thanks Scottish government) and I’d be in trouble if I didn’t have a way of accounting for what I spend.

In reality you’re living a charmed life but I completely agree that two people earning roughly 45k doesn’t go far.
We have similar income, two children and a lot of debt. The debt has been for unavoidable things and business ventures and the more it drains us the harder each month gets. I’ve got £11 in my account. Our food shop for four including teens is a lot lower than yours and we won’t have holidays - except we are paying for (state) school trips.

I could start another thread on the income those on benefits get now. I work with largely unemployed families and increasingly many are taking home double my salary - and not paying rent/school costs etc.

So, you're spending £9300 a year on food.
Wraparound care won't be forever
2 cars - massive ones both on PCP or HP? Or bangers?
Council gym or David Lloyd bonkers family membership?
1 holiday a year - Butlins or Barbados?

There are still far too many variables and if you can't manage on your income you need to cut your expenses.

Downsize your home, cut back on spending £25 a day on food for 2 adults and 1dc

Your household income is well above average. Mine is less than a third with me and 2 older teen-agers that eat like horses. We still manage every month.

My thoughts exactly 💯 😆

Seriously? Of course it dydnt take long, so many people in the country struggling, really struggling, and someone on a family income has the cheek to post about struggling on £90K? Of course people are going to comment!

well @gundigirl what are your outgoings? Care to share and maybe we can help?

But has been said time and again, it depends on your outgoings. People who earn less pay less tax and get more benefits. The £90k household isn’t on loadsamoney.

@gundigirl you said you try to save or invest when you can. That’s probably the biggest difference between those who just scrape by. They’re not saving and one bad month of unforeseen expenses will sink them.

I get it. We earn more than you and still struggle. We have a large mortgage (south east) and our nursery fees are £1800pcm.

We budget around £1000pcm for spending for 2 adults and 2 kids, and it just seems to disappear - food shop about half of that, then there’s always something, birthday presents, hairdcuts, shoes outgrown, a couple of low key days out and that’s it.

I honestly don’t know how people do it.

We earn around that, have 2 kids and are doing fine.
How much is your mortgage?

I bring home half of that, 2 teens and me.

I'm disabled so spend more on food, buy cut up veg/gusto/hello fresh etc.

But I spend what I can afford. I've been on 2 weekends holidays abroad this year and have another week planned.

You need to have a look at what you're spending. I don't feel strapped for cash at all.

Do you have luxuries like monthly paid car finance? If each of you are spending 3-400 month on a posh leased car that will be a big part of the issue.
I have a higher family income than you but have not had a new car in over a decade and drive an old vehicle that was bought out right second hand.
Many years on, its still running fine, and my monthly costs for driving are very low as a result.
I also spend little to nothing compared to most people, on hair/nails/beauty. Haircut probably twice a year, do my own nails if i want them done for an occasion or event.
I think what some people consider to be 'norms' for middle income families should actually be considered luxuries.

You need a budget. I use YNAB and it's made a huge difference. Keep track of your spending, plan it, and make sure you're spending on what you really want. Eating out was my downfall, but I barely realised until I started keeping track

I’m a single parent taking home half what you do and I manage. You haven’t given any detail on what you actually spend, apart from on food, which seems very high for 2 adults and a small child. I spend less than half of what you do and we eat well. How much is your holiday? If it’s £10k you can cut back on that… wraparound care will eventually come to an end. Does your child really need all the activities you’ve put them into? Do you get value for money from your gym membership? Have you got bigger cars than you actually need?

Be totally honest and look at how much food you throw away, how many times you go to the gym, how economical your car is, how many clubs your child enjoys… you can make savings.

So you have a decent lifestyle, you’re not struggling? You have a holiday every year, high weekly food budget, activities for your DD and a gym membership as well as 2 cars. You have lots you can cut back on if you need to, your food budget is high you spend more then we do with 2 DCs and we don’t need to budget. You could cut out the gym membership if needed too.

Lower mortgage, no running cars and UK hoildays - also watch food spending a lot better and probably more second hand good and make do and mend and wait to buy things.

It doesn't really help you though - as your numbers and lifestyle are different to ours - we've older kids in cheaper part of UK.

I will say save now little and often for kid even it its a 10 a month - will add up with compound interest to something and they may need it for Uni or house deposit.

Best advice track your spending decide if that where you want to be spending money and make changes.

We've been cutting back for years now - the shrinkflation and increase in bills in never ending and does at times get depressing - some of the end of month meals are odd combos and things have to wait where they can.

We have an annual income of £45k (I work 30hrs a week he doesn't)
We really do alright- at least one if not 2 holidays a year- one self catered in the UK
Child does clubs
Hubby and I spend £500 a month on personal trainers at the gym....
About £120 a week on food....
Seriously you need to look at your budget...

We earn similarly (though we also get benefits for disabled DS) and I feel very comfortable. What has helped is not over extending on our mortgage. I like the idea of a fancier house with a bigger kitchen but I like not worrying about money more.

We are a high earning family, but pretty frugal so that we can save.

£180 a week food shop is very high. We are a family of 2 adults and 3 older children and we spend about £130 a week. Meal plan for the week and only buy what we need. Make as much as possible from scratch.

We lease one car for £330 a month. The other is a small cheap 10 year old car, paid for.

One European holiday per year.

We have 1 takeaway per month, eat out once a month, have a coffee machine at home and make packed lunches for work and school.

Are you using Taxfree Childcare to pay for your child’s wraparound care? That makes it cheaper.

I think lots of posters are jumping on the op unfairly but kind of proving her point.

£90k used to and should feel like a lot but in reality even good earners are starting to feel the pinch.

That spells tricky times for the economy ahead because when the 'well off' start to cut back business and the economy suffers even more.

An example is Wagamamas in my local town used to have a queue out through door on a Friday/Saturday night. Not anymore it's about 1/4 full. How long is that going to be sustainable?

OP I have recently helped a friend (single parent, 2 teens) to do a complete overhaul of her budget. She is a formidable person, raising 2 fantastic kids, working full time and seeing costs rising inexplicably. She spins so many plates that she just didn't have the extra time or energy to delve into her expenses. The fact is that utility companies rely on being never shopping around, and sadly consumer loyalty does not pay.

You need to list out all your fixed costs and review with a fine tooth comb. Check if your household is on the best tariff for your utilities, make notes on renewal rates for insurance policies, broadband, mobile phones, mortgage etc and build in enough time to check comparison sites for the best rates. Look at all your costs and see if/where you can improve and trim back. It's a massive exercise but well worth doing.

Probably the wraparound care cost? Is there any funding for this once they're in school or is it just nursery age?

If you run a 'side hustle' why does she need wraparound?

Food you could reduce a bit. But as a family of 4, I find it hard to reduce ours by much. Unless I shop in Lidl instead of Tesco, but that takes so much longer.

The cost of extra clubs and activities quickly adds up. Not necessary either, most children enjoy time at home just as much.