To be late for school once a week?

[Latelateshowz]

(Writing this from DC POV.)

I am in year 13 at school. My school’s late policy is that you can be late once a week without any penalty. If you get two lates you get put on a report and have to turn up early for 2 weeks.

I don’t see the point of getting in on time just to sit around in form time or to go to an assembly. So I choose to make the most of the system that is in place and deliberately go in late once a week.

In case it is relevant, I have the second highest voluntary service hours in the school (this is for things like helping younger students, doing clubs etc) and I am predicted the highest grades. I’ve never had any detentions for behaviour etc.

My form tutor mentioned my punctuality in a recent parents meeting and my parents think I should just be on time. My view is that I am just making the most of the system the school has set up.

YABU: get yourself to school on time
YANBU: fair enough, be late if you want

Maybe wait until after UCAS references have gone in to play this game.

I don't blame you, OP. School sixth forms are ridiculously prescriptive and infantilising and do not prepare 16-18 year olds for university or work. If it were up to me I'd get rid of them. Anyway you can subvert the rules is ok by me. A lie in once a week will stand you in better stead than form time and assembly.

I suspect I would have done this at that age if it had been a thing at my school. I was very bored by school (I was bright and didn’t get enough interesting challenges) and I didn’t like rules or being told what to do. I can see a lot of self-centredness and brattiness looking back that I didn’t think of then, I just wanted autonomy and a bit of interest/variety.

As adult I wouldn’t do this kind of thing and I don’t think I’m entitled brat any more because I’ve grown the hell up. I think it’s a good idea to discuss it with him and find out what’s driving this behaviour and go from there. As pp said he’ll have to deal with the consequences of it.

Really weird post OP.
Mumsnet shouldn’t do your parenting for you. Support your child to get to school on time.

Bloody hell. What a response! I swear this place gets worse by the day. Isn’t that one of the main purposes of this forum?!!

This is the excuse all those MPs used when caught claiming expenses for duck houses etc. "I'm allowed to, therefore I will".

It's a concession not a right, they are showing a bit of leniency for someone who is late once in a while, the bus didn't run or something.

At school you may get some sanction that doesn’t bother you.
If you were working, persistent lateness with that sort of attitude, would probably get you the sack, and rightly so.

As for your mother, posting this at all, I had better not comment!

I don’t think so.

If the OP had said, what’s the advice on this or what would you do, then I would have responded as such.

The OP wanted responses directed as if to her child. What would be the purpose of that if not to tell their child ‘look what Mumsnet says’.

You're looking for loopholes. It's tardy to be late, your time is not more important than anyone else's so it's not a good habit to get into. In my job if you were late three times EVER you'd be sacked. Start good habits now rather than looking for clauses. It's not a healthy attitude to have, especially for someone who should be young and hungry to take on the world. Show responsibility and respect.

If the school is to write a reference for you in the future, they may include the number of days that you were late. You will have shot yourself in the foot!

You sound a bit arrogant and immature. Arriving late is disruptive for everyone else who has arrived on time.

If schools stopped treating 6th formers as little children and gave them some freedom like colleges do, then pupils wouldn't have to do this.

It’s not a hill I’d die on. My dd is at uni now but was similar at sixth form eg they had no teacher for 1 subject all yr13 and she preferred to self study not be babysat by a pe teacher sometimes. Tues morning form she missed when they were only doing uni applications and she had already applied early entry. They were also awkward re attending uni open days and additional exam for uni. They also reported her absent when she was on a trip abroad she’d won a place on through school. I had a call about her attendance with her head of year in yr13, at this point she was 18 and I felt it was her responsibility. It’s the presentism versus best use of time argument. She also did lots of school volunteering, was AStar predicted and outside volunteering and paid work. She’s coped well at uni managing own time.

I disagree with playing the system.

If the college realises the late system is being played then they may well adjust it and go with a no late tolerance. This could and likely would impact students who have a genuine reason for being late.

The young person is unreasonable and should get to school on time. They will probably be the cause of a tightening in policy that harms following students who actually have a reason for being occasionally late - “this is why we can’t have nice things”.

The school should have noticed this ridiculous pattern and done something about their unusually lax policy to differentiate between occasional unavoidable lateness and students taking the proverbial.

By y13/age 17 I think it’s between the school and the young person to sort out and not the parent, assuming the lateness is not impacting YP’s education or causing harm or inconvenience to anyone else.

The British education system should really rethink the necessity of “assembly” and the like for young people studying A-levels not going to primary school.

And? It’s just the same question worded differently. If they’d come on and said it the way you suggested, it could still have been used in the same manner.

I get where DC comes from, because assembly and "tutor time" as we called it back when I was young, was so boring. But my mum ensured we turned up for the school bus to take us to school and we were funnelled in like robots. As an adult, I've had to go to plenty of meetings and training courses that could have been an email, so I realised you have to suck these things up. Even now, my mind wanders and I think of anything else but what's being discussed. My team assume because I'm quiet, I'm still listening. Hm, no.

Being part of a school is being part of a community. ‘Sitting around’ in form time or assembly is part of being a community. That’s where you notice that someone looks upset, or that the group vibe has changed, or you hear about something important. Go to school on time.

I have the second highest voluntary service hours in the school (this is for things like helping younger students, doing clubs etc) + I’ve never had any detentions for behaviour etc.

These two things are relevant IMO (the grades not so much). Hope you carry on your voluntary service beyond school and good luck with your studies.

This is a generationally thing. Young peoole are not going to be slaves to their jobs like us in our 40s have been. My son had exactly the same attitude to sitting in form at the end of the day couldn’t see why they couldn’t come home. As he says work smarter not harder.

I understand his point of view. However, as an retired teacher who has had to write many references for university and work, you should warn him that many employers etc have sections for referees to complete with attendance and punctuality. It is quite likely in the future that he will have disadvantaged himself from getting a place/job by doing this.

It is a sloppy attitude, rather like those who treat contractual sick days as additional annual leave allocation. Just because there is leeway, presumably to allow for travel delays or one off emergencies, does not mean you should take advantage.

This is a perfect example of why in life the PTB end up taking the good things away from us. We can’t be trusted to used them in the way that is intended.

Obviously the school expect pupils to start and finish on time. That should be the intention of every pupil on every day. They are acknowledging that if you are late they aren’t going to make a song and dance about it on every occasion. You will be trusted to fix or address the problem without someone telling you off and what to do.

That is what your child needs to understand. When high trust environments are abused they cease to become high trust environments. They become controlled and limiting.

Taking this into account the one day a week lateness is not something I would challenge. I’m curious if they choose to arrive later on Fridays so as to avoid a double lateness and punishment?

Dear Year 13 Child

You are taking the Micky (to be polite.)

The 'once a week late' is so that the school appears reasonable not Draconian.
They are making an allowance so that if the unforeseen happens, maybe out of your control, you aren't punished.

To use this leniency as a reason to turn up late (as if that's the norm), is missing the point.

It's the same as someone taking X days of sick leave before they have to prove they are ill - ie using the days off as a holiday!

YABU. School hours are set hours. The policy not to penalise is there to offer some leeway not to be taken advantage of.

If it is abused, they could take it away and then everyone suffers because of your child's inability to comply or your inability to make them comply.

Whatever they do or don't volunteering wise etc is not relevant. They are abusing a system that was put in place to be helpful.

The sense of entitlement is just amazing. I would not support my DC to behave like this.