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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think maybe my NDN is a murderer?

462 replies

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 10:38

Ok, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible, but at the same time, not miss any details out. Lived in our house for 30years - about 16 years ago, a family moved in next door. Mother, Father, 2 sons and 2 daughters (who all appeared to be in their mid-late 30s). 2 daughters drove and worked, 2 sons don't drive and have never worked.

Due to his future behaviour, we nicknamed one of the brothers 'Hulk' (he's also quite stocky), so to make things simple here, we have Hulk and 'Gentle' (his brother).

Incidents when my kids were young:

  1. Hulk told me he was keeping a log of when my children made noise in the house
  2. Hulk splashed bleach on my ex's car when he parked outside their house for literally a minute whilst picking the kids up
  3. Hulk shouted at my young son for knocking to ask for his football, and when I saw him and Gentle next, I had a go at him for it. Gentle was 'holding' his brother back, like he would attack me.

My other neighbours don't like them, THEIR neighbours don't like them.

Over the years though, I got in the habit of saying hello and it became friendly enough. Time passed and the father died, then the mother died, one of the sisters died. I knew all this because they either told me, or, in the case of the sister, they had a big funeral procession, the hearse was parked outside the house for a while, and Gentle told me she died from kidney disease.

ALL through this time, I only EVER saw Hulk out in the garden with Gentle, gardening. Only ever saw Gentle and his sister go to shops, or laundromat. Literally the only time I would see Hulk is if he was with his brother out in the front garden, or gardening in the back garden. None of them go out a lot, but if one of them was walking down the street, it would only ever be Gentle.

Last year my daughter and her partner had a bit of a parking dispute with our other neighbours. They are nice but a bit fussy, and they always asked my daughters partner to move his car when he came over...he never parked outside their house, but they felt like they needed 'more space' for their daughters car. So he would move it, out of courtesy. Until one day he didn't, which resulted in their daughter 'having' to park outside Hulks house (she really didn't need to, plenty of space outside her parents house) - so an argument between them two occurred. A few weeks later, Hulk had asked us about the back yard fence, and we noticed some vines coming through from his side. He denied it, so I opened my back gate to show him. My daughter was also there, as was his sister, and he was stood about a foot away from me (I couldn't back up cos our cat run was behind me). Because he kept rambling, i eventually said, anyway, I've got to get on...and he literally just stood and stared at me, no expression for about 5 seconds....after about the 5th 'I've really got to go', i managed to end the convo and get him the hell out of my yard. Me and my daughter were really weirded out by the way he just stared and ignored me.

But, during this convo, he kept bringing it round to the parking dispute - telling my daughter re our other neighbours 'don't let them dominate you' - not kidding he kept coming back to it, and he must have said this about 6 times...so weird. I mention this because his language was so strange...it was a parking dispute and a small one at that.

So after this strangeness, I realised I hadn't seen Gentle for a very long time. And once I realised it, I started noticing that now only Hulk was doing gardening, and it was only Hulk who went to shops with his sister (they ALWAYS go out together).

And then we (my kids and me) started talking about their back garden. It's not a huge garden, but they already had two sheds side by side at the back. The rest was really lovely flowers. Until Hulk razed the flowers, concreted over and put a massive shed on it. If you look into their garden from our bedroom window, that shed takes up about 70% of the space, then the two sheds at the back as well. There's literally no garden space left, so what he's keeping IN the sheds, no idea.

But where is Gentle? Shed went up after Gentle 'disappeared' because he wasn't helping like he usually would have. I liked Gentle. He would even knock on the door if he needed help with council or anything. I find his brother weird. Now you'd think if Gentle had fallen ill, Hulk would have mentioned it to me during that conversation. The family dynamic is very strange anyway, but I can't stop thinking about what happened to Gentle.

So, what do you think? My kids were saying maybe call the police - but what would I say?

YABU - probably just ill or died
YANBU - he's definitely killed his brother

OP posts:
FaitesVosJeux · 07/10/2025 10:45

This is the maddest thing I've read in a good long while. My brain closed down at 'Hulk' and 'Gentle' really but I do think you should call the police. Do that right now. Come back and tell us what they say.

Bottleplant · 07/10/2025 10:46

If you mean this, report it. It will be easy enough for the police to establish if he's still alive. Isn't it most likely that he finally moved out of his childhood home though?

randomchap · 07/10/2025 10:49

Essentially, a neighbour has not been seen for a while but his brother still lives in the house?

A welfare check might be in order

When did you last see gentle?

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 10:49

FaitesVosJeux · 07/10/2025 10:45

This is the maddest thing I've read in a good long while. My brain closed down at 'Hulk' and 'Gentle' really but I do think you should call the police. Do that right now. Come back and tell us what they say.

I feel like I should have said why I'm calling him Gentle here - he was the type of guy who just seemed eternally sad, but was very soft spoken and, well - gentle

OP posts:
notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 10:50

Bottleplant · 07/10/2025 10:46

If you mean this, report it. It will be easy enough for the police to establish if he's still alive. Isn't it most likely that he finally moved out of his childhood home though?

I find it really really hard to believe that he would have moved out. They were all adults when they moved in 16 years ago.

OP posts:
StasisMom · 07/10/2025 10:51

I have an active imagination but reckon there’s a chance…

Mymanyellow · 07/10/2025 10:52

I think if he had died I think you would have seen the funeral or the other neighbours would have heard something,these things do get round. But it’s still a leap to say he’s murdered his brother.

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 10:52

randomchap · 07/10/2025 10:49

Essentially, a neighbour has not been seen for a while but his brother still lives in the house?

A welfare check might be in order

When did you last see gentle?

It must be over a year, but I never really registered it...until that conversation and then realising about the garden...then it was kind of, oh I havent seen his brother for ages...and THEN, after that, noticing that I only ever saw Hulk

OP posts:
notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 10:53

Does anyone know what the police would do? If anything?

OP posts:
SaratogaFilly · 07/10/2025 10:53

Call the police for a welfare check if you’re truly worried.

Dartmoorcheffy · 07/10/2025 10:56

Worth calling police to just do a check.

CuckooPond · 07/10/2025 10:56

So you think Hulk and his sister murdered their brother and buried his body in concrete under a shed? Or have imprisoned him in the shed?

StasisMom · 07/10/2025 10:59

They’d do a welfare check, after checking if they had any updated records of him, eg him having died, moved etc.

ThatCleverCoralCrow · 07/10/2025 11:02

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 10:53

Does anyone know what the police would do? If anything?

A welfare check. They'd want to see him in person to make sure he's alive and well.

bungobungobungo · 07/10/2025 11:02

Are you in the US? Your use of yard and laundromat makes me think so - may be different in your country but could you approach the police to do a check?

Bottleplant · 07/10/2025 11:03

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 10:53

Does anyone know what the police would do? If anything?

They'd go round and ask where Gentle is currently living. Then check.

Pleatherandlace · 07/10/2025 11:03

Can you ask the sister where he is just in a friendly way?

LaminatedLou · 07/10/2025 11:05

It’ll play on your mind, go and report it

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 11:05

bungobungobungo · 07/10/2025 11:02

Are you in the US? Your use of yard and laundromat makes me think so - may be different in your country but could you approach the police to do a check?

No, I'm in the UK...yard comes from my Northern roots, and laundromat comes from me completely forgetting what we call it in the UK (laundrette?) - I think i will call 101. I wasn't sure what they would do.

OP posts:
HeyThereDelila · 07/10/2025 11:05

Don’t ask where he is; if they have done away with him that would tip them off.

Call the police and say you’re worried about a missing neighbour; ask if they can help locate him. Do it anon if you need to.

Onegingerhead · 07/10/2025 11:08

When did you last see Gentle?
I watch a lot of true crime and this definitely fits the pattern..

Frostynoman · 07/10/2025 11:10

Probably get a welfare check. Let’s hope hulk just loves his sheds….

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 11:11

Pleatherandlace · 07/10/2025 11:03

Can you ask the sister where he is just in a friendly way?

One thing I didn't fully get across in the OP was the weirdness of this family. I have literally never heard the sisters speak. Not even when they've been outside gardening or getting into their car to go to work. Not even the brothers would speak to each other whilst gardening...just silence...all the time. Our family have talked a lot about how we would love to be a fly on the wall in their house. The dynamic is just so strange. So I would never get the chance to ask her...I barely see her out, and when she is out, she is ALWAYS with Hulk (she used to always be with Gentle)

OP posts:
AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 07/10/2025 11:11

It wouldn't hurt to relate this to the police or - I don't know; adult social services? Sounds like Hulk may be ND.

Good to know such things as a welfare check exist; there may be other stuff on file that makes them think they should investigate. Fred West scenario?

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 11:13

Onegingerhead · 07/10/2025 11:08

When did you last see Gentle?
I watch a lot of true crime and this definitely fits the pattern..

It must be over a year, but I never really registered it...until that conversation and then realising about the garden...then it was kind of, oh I havent seen his brother for ages...and THEN, after that, noticing that I only ever saw Hulk

OP posts: